Beelzebubs Barbecue

Welcome to The Office

Within the Office we try and maintain a quality about us. We are self policing and enjoy those who use correct grammar. Spamming, being a troll and all other bouts of T&C violations as well as sheer and utter annoyance will result in either mod calls, reports, or the entirety of the Office ganging up on you or mass muting. Mike now likes to think he owns this room.

Regulars (alphanumerical A-9):

Azoocat:

Quintessentially English evil sociopathic nutjob. Works for the British government, what he actually does is somewhat hazy though, something to do with the military. Has a penchant and a proficiency for medieval weapons, highly skilled with a deck of cards, rides an exceedingly cool motorbike. Often torn between whether he wants to dominate the world or destroy it; whichever he decides, rest assured it will not be a happy day when he gets access to nuclear weapons. Has a deep devotion to The Queen and the rest of the Royal Family. Generally all round, long-haired, awesome dude.

Bigbadbaz:

There's always one. Barry here is The Office's 'one'. A walking dictionary, familiar with numerous languages, several really rather obscure ones, can write in any number of alphabets. Also a hideous pervert, will do anything to anything as long as it is sexual and has a special set of drawers and a swan he would like to introduce you to.

bonnero

Known as Boner. You'll make boner jokes about bonnero, swiftly followed by a gagging noise. We don't say why. Very bland chap, socially inept and lacking in personality.

Occasionally will come out with something that will explode you with laughter, insight and grief at the same time. Often comes out with things that makes your sperm spontaneously harden inside your urethra in order to prevent the possibility of more of his ilk.

DJ_Furby:

Has severe delusions of grandeur. Possibly because he is Jesus. Kinda bitter about that whole 'crucifixion' business. Doesn't take kindly to strangers.

Drac_in_the_box

The bubbly, random, ADD-influenced gay of The Office. Watch out, he WILL talk to you about Emilie Autumn and Westboro Baptist Church. His days not spent on Kong are mostly spent playing Kingdom Hearts. Also enjoys long walks on the beach, pina coladas, and getting lost in the rain. And Zydrate. Stereotypical homosexual.

FuZzYLoG1C

"FuZzYLoG1C: I shall not. Anything I add about myself would be self serving and a hardly accurate description of how I am here."

Sums him up really.

Sums him up the ARSE, that is.

heylia:

Known by aliases, wanted by police. Formerly a wanton force of anarchic and fiery destruction, with a liberal dosing of Boosh quotes, the unprecedented amount of d'Awwwwwwwww involved in her relationship with Kipchak has filled her full of fuzzy love for the world, and everything in it. So long as everything in it doesn't challenge her on the French language.

Insanemembrane:

Tall chappy. Looks lovely in a dress. Occasional zombie. Loves a nice hard bumming every now and again.

Jaywalker2:

Syphilitic manwhore who, much like the majestic stag, has tired himself through rutting and retired to the leafy shades of The Office to dole out abuse to soft targets and vent bile. A combination of a good dose of the crunk weed and base incompetence lost his first account, "Jaywalker", on which resides the fabled Hexiompossible badge.

Likes words, drink, sex and weed, in that order.

Kalahiton:

The amazing sex god of the Office. Makes multiple visits to Natamora's room each year to keep her entertained. And, apparently, is fairly decent at said task.

Falls somewhere between Demetri Martin and your regional head of I.T., depending on his mood.

KipchakJaniberg:

The logical outcome of Stalin's existence in a Manichean world, Kipchak represents the good and true, and is surprisingly unPolish. This particular fact is unrelated to his good and trueness, which remains the same whether he be Polish or nay. Sex with Kipchak is likely to be rigorous and fulfilling, yet sensuously gentle.

KristinOwe:

Azoo's Dr. Girlfriend, minus the deep and masculine voice. A force to be reckoned with, has a quick temper if you know what gets to her. Soldiers on manfully through horrific back pain. A right trooper and no mistake.

Leucaruth

Quiet, yet full of wit and friendly to a few favored ones in the Office. A grammar nazi, even by the standards of the office, Leucaruth has a fondness for a well-turned semi-colon.

Malkara

Old Account + Random Bouts of Not Going to Kong = Malkara. Is a success because he has a job repairing library computers. Yes, he really does believe that.

MikeChilds:

Most notable Office mod, a lovely friendly chap. Trying to maintain a balance between doing his duty as a moderator whilst being somewhat lenient with the eccentricities of the more colourful residents of the Office. Oh, isn't he just. Remember Brighton Beach! Rockers vs. Mods forever! CHAINS AND KNIVES, CHAINS AND KNIVES, UP THE LONGHAIRS!

Natamora:

There are a fair few badge grinding mentals about but Nata is the top Office one. It must be some sort of illness because damn, she likem dem badges. She's like a snake dipped in honey, either you get the side of her so sweet you'll get diabetes or you get venom filled fangs. A 'lucky' few have received both in the period they have known her. Most of her time was initially spent trying to gain the same or levels ahead of Bigbadbaz and Leucaruth, but now that she's surpassed them, she no longer has incredible badge earning motivation.

Noodleslovesyou:

It's okay, no one knows who the heck he is either.

Phillystink:

No one knows, no one really wants to. The gift from God you'd like to re-gift, but can't.

SammoSammy:

One of the more sensible members of the Office. Untouched by flame or troll due to a way with a barbed insult and the throwing arm of Captain Ahab himself. Generally sticks to less controversial subjects, such as the violation of infants (dead and living).

tedweird:

He is, for lack of a better word, Ted. Very Ted, Begotten, not Created. The Ted, the Ted, and the Holy Ted. In the beginning was the Weird, and the Weird was Ted, and the Weird was with Ted.

History:
The origins of the office are lost in the mists of time, even to its oldest members; Azoo, Baz and Tedweird. Originally created by an unknown, but named being, who has never been witnessed by anyone who frequents the Office. The majority of regulars appeared in April of 2008, much to Azoo's distaste. That said, not much is to his taste.

Room description:

Self-policing, mildly brash and full of wit, those who become initiated as regulars into the Office are a class unto themselves. Trolls, spammers and riff-raff are, as a general rule, not tolerated, and doing anything previously mentioned is sure grounds for rejection.