Greed


 * Persians: "The thousand nations of the Persion Empire descend upon you! Our arrows will blot out the sun!"


 * Greed: "Then we will troll you."

Amongst the Kongregate Chatrooms, Greed stands out as a mixed bag. Some regular members are calm sensitive types: artists, musicians, philosophers, and other fully punctuated adult voices. Others are cold, hard, unmentionable bastards. All have a place in Greed. The spammer is generally to exercise the role of the mute button, and the bashing troll helps regulars learn to defend themselves without calling for a moderator. Greed is not a place to be entered without caution. Going in and saying whatever comes to mind will likely to get you shot down by trolling Anti-Aircraft cannon like you were a Zeppelin made of fail. They follow not the rules of konduct established by Kongregate, but their own. The number of rules is unknown, suspected to be around 30.

As such, Greed has become known as the Modless zone, which is rather untrue. Occasionally we are visited by more rational mods. Exquisite is a moderator who happens to be on every morning once in a while! She's fairly reasonable with her decisions, and will generally act in favor of the people, rather than seeing everything as black-and-white. Hexed will have babies with her some day. Even if he has to get her eyeballs pregnant, he will do it.

Regular Mods
Exquisite
 * Of the mods there could be, only one shall ever be called "Exquisite." Owner of the Greed Chat, she alone stands as moderator of Greed. However, this is fine. Greed rarely needs anyone in it, the regulars take good care of it. Ex was a long time, well known regular of Greed before even considering being a mod.  This is one of the main reasons why she is accepted within Greed. According to her profile, Exquisite will be on Kongregate less often, as she has cancelled internet at home.

Cartrodus
 * A mod from Germany, who has recently become somewhat of a regular on Greed (possibly to take the place of Ex in her absence). He is relatively relaxed, and has an adequate sense of humor to get along with the Greed regulars.

ringkichard
 * So here's the deal with kich: He's like a wall flower, right? You're like, "Oh that's cool." And then you troll some bitches and everything's lulzy as fuck. Then some mods show up and are like, "Czech these nutz out!" And they start hammering people because that's how they deal with their inability to positively influence the world. Suddenly, kich is a maelstrom of logic and reason. Within fifteen minutes, he's whipped up a thesis on the failings in the life and times of this Bad Mod, he's refuted every one of the mod's points, and e-pulled their pants down 'round their ankles. Given another fifteen, he's stolen their hammer and made himself a mod... so that's how kich became mod.

Amberlei
 * All right so you wanna know about Amber? Well she's like kich but to more of a moralfag extreme. Like, she's all, "I have morals and ethics!" right? But she's not a gigantic douche about it like certain mods. I wish I had more funny stuff to say about her 'cause she's not a leper or anything, but she's not super-funny either. Still better than pink though. Man, I'm not a fan of her.

Regulars
If you think you should be in the regular list, speak to a regular and we will look into it.

1337Theory
 * A.K.A "The Shield" When Greed is facing the threat of an onslaught, whether by newfags or mods, he will always speak up and deliver a kick to the genitals of authority. Known as the God of Sex by almost everyone in Greed, and he makes sure no one forgets. For what reason we don't know, maybe because he's just a fag.

Aestin
 * A very quiet guy but when he decides to speak up, he's quite funny. He's always worth talking to. Be wary, he may crush your head with his thighs... OF STEEEEL

Amberlei
 * If you have to ask, she's not your type. She's not inflatable.

Andr0o
 * Lurks like a motherfucker. Comes out of nowhere to strike, and vanishes just as fast.

xBlahx
 * Youngest of the Greed regulars, but shouldn't be underestimated because of this. Despite his age, he can still hold his own in an intelligent conversation.

Cyberkinetic
 * 6th dimensional being who recently took a 4 dimensional form to interact with our people. Can divide by 0. Twice.

DeadLucky
 * A veteran Greed late-night regular, now back from an extended bout of inactivity. Drunken inactivity. The type of guy who you would find hunched over a drink in the corner of a bar, shouting obscenities and giving unneeded advice. DeadLucky makes better comments and flames while drunk than most people can make sober. He claims he isn't an alcoholic as he doesn't "go to meetings."

GreatSquiggy
 * He will tell you he's been on Greed since before Al Gore invented the internet, but that doesn't seem all that plausible. He's been known to flame even himself at the expense of a good laugh, and can be heard saying, "Really?  When did that happen?" when something happens in Greed.  It's probably the Alzheimer's.

Hexed1
 * Hexed is the man that you would expect to see wearing his underpants on his head in the park one day, screaming at the birds; sitting in a Borders sipping smuggled Kahlua and coffee while discoursing on Faust the next day; yet on a third day seducing your wife in a Ferarri Enzo that he probably stole from a valet parking lot. Possibly a nigra. Has the newest model of customizable Jesus.

jkukla
 * Not as active these days, but still an old favorite. Has been known to start impromptu raves with Shakes.


 * "Hurgablargh!"

JoeSixPack
 * Logic buster! Seriously, this guy sits and waits quietly. You won't know when he's around, then suddenly he'll drop a logic bomb on you like the Americans dropped on the Japanese back in Dubya Dubya Two! This hobo is way depressing. Watch out for his freeze-ray or run the risk of becoming emo. The only known cure for this is finding a pit, filling it with dead kittens, lighting it on fire, and dying in it. Note that holes filled with flaming kittens are more common than you'd expect in Greed.

Kilroy8675309
 * Secretary of Awesome. He sports a wide range of awesome and a razor sharp wit. He is one of the strongest weapons Greed has against "Bad Mods."

"If you weren't so black, I wouldn't be so racist."

PaperMache
 * Fap-happy Pappy. He loves you, whether you want him to or not. Try to fight it all you want, but it will happen. He will find you, and he will love you. Oh and don't question his love, or things might get nasty.
 * "I like hairy babies"

pinkNERD
 * Canadian Airhead! One of the few confirmed females of Greed. Previously known as Pinkskittle. Music is her hot hot sex.

ringkichard
 * Dick! But lovable dick. Intelligent person, too! One of the few to go toe to toe with Hexed and not give up.
 * "Greed has standards. We may be bully bastards with hearts of malice and claws of ice, but at least we're not ****ing Nazis."

SirShakes
 * Complete douche. The original Sir, as well as the general. As such, leads the Knights of Greed to conquest absolutely nothing and give everybody a headache. Try to touch pinkNERD and he'll reign down upon you with the thunderous fury of a hundred thousand keystrokes with such scathing intensity that you will feel your very soul burn.

SirSharks
 * The Brigadier, and second in command, of the Knights of Greed(A.K.A. Brotherhood of Sirs). Enjoys pointing out that he is a shark, and as such has twice the genitalia any man could hope to have, known as "claspers".


 * "I'M A SHARK!
 * I'M A SHAAARK!
 * SUCK MY DIIIIIICK!
 * I'M A SHAAAAAAAAARK!"

SirShucks
 * An odd one to be sure, one of the several Sirs. Unlike the others, with a personality co-inciding with their given sur/sirnames, he would prefer to seduce one of his brothers to shucking corn.[[Image:Shrugs.jpg|thumb|Shrugs at work.]]

SirShacks
 * One of the less energetic Knights, he generally sits back and watches until something bad happens. There have been speculations that he doesn't actually exist as a three dimensional being.

SirSnacks
 * Enjoys snacking and evading the word filter, much to the dismay of his brothers. Still one of the better Knights. Has been MIA for some time now.

SirShaves
 * Yet another member of the Sirs. Grows lengthy facial/pubic hair every ten minutes resulting in him having to shave constantly. He enjoys Shaving himself and others also being shaved by others.

SirShrugs
 * One of the newest Knights, but also one of the most promising. Has already taken the rank of Colonel. Astounds people with his sharp wit and lack of enthusiasm.

SirSlaves
 * I swear it's not racist. Colonel of the Knights of Greed alongside SirShrugs. Quite clever and quick-witted, though it might not always show through his accent and stereotypical tendancies.
 * All right, I lied, it's a little racist.

SirSpooks
 * *hides face* He's a ghost, nobody is really sure how he died, apparently not even himself. Reports range from treason to getting eaten by a SirSharks. He is a Major of the Knights of Greed.

SirSteaks
 * Lieutenant Colonel of the Knights of Greed. One of the few that doesn't take every opportunity to force a pun about his name.

SirSTEEEL
 * STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!

SirSweets
 * Watermelon that wants to be a watermelon flavored hard candy, and Major of the Knights of Greed. Enjoys making puns involving the word sweet and yelling at children asking where the white women at.

SweetnLow
 * Not Splenda.

Wargazm
 * Awesome person with a strange sense of humor. Beware, he can troll up with the best of them while maintaining a less than serious look. He also happens to be a chronic sociopath.
 * Wargazm: "You ever found a brown marshmallow in your cereal?"
 * SirShakes: "..."
 * SirShakes: "No"
 * Sirshakes: "Did you wash your hands after you pooped?"
 * Wargazm: "...well what else could it b- OH GOD!"
 * Sirshakes: "Did you wash your hands after you pooped?"
 * Wargazm: "...well what else could it b- OH GOD!"

Zapatista626
 * Greed's Mexican. Tries far too hard to be liked by the other regulars, but manages to get some recognition.

In The Beginning
First, there was empty internet. Then, came the coming of Greer, who rose up and said, "Hey, a flash game site with chat would be pretty sweet." On the first day, he coded and hired people to code, and lo, there was Kongregate. On the second day, they set upon making chat rooms, for discerning tastes.

In the ages since, people from far and wide have joined and spent their days enjoying games, but mainly just trying to gather a massive amount of h4x 1337 points. But with them came the Trolls, and the Nukers, the Spammers, and the Pr0n links. Seeing this, Greer was saddened and angered. Thus, lo, on the fourth day Greer created Mod to watch over his people. But not all Mods were Good Mods, as they also contained free will. Hence, he created a system to ensure they too followed the rules of his land.

The Creation of Greed and The First Era of Modlessness
On the fifth day came Greed, and it was good. One of the Rooms named for the Seven Deadly Sins, it was a haven of Trolls. The other rooms named for Sin were too, heavy with Trolls, but soon were reduced to RP rooms and cleanly places of noobery. Greed, however, distinguished itself by its intellectual regulars and general high quality of conversation and was known throughout the land as the home of a different, if not superior breed, of denizen.

In these early days, all was right and just in Greed, as Mod had little issue with the kindly citizens of Greed and made scarse their visits. An occasional unwitting Mod did foolhardedly venture into Greed from time to time, but mostly left the Room to its own devices, possibly due to the known tenacity and ferocity of it's trolls when roused to action.

Obvious Gap in History
... and then AIDS. AIDS always happens.

The First Coming of Mod and The Golden Era of Modlessness
Then came one penis-swinging Mod, and his wrath was mighty and terrible. He struck down the Trollking, and his subjects, in a battle that shook all of Greed and left it barren and desolate for like, an hour.

Then reigned peace, and in that time, the Trollking left, and his subjects fought a bitter war for the title. Then they just stopped caring and left Greed for places unknown. In this time of peace came a great many regulars; And lo, there was a commune of common interest, and Greed became an anarchy. The title of Trollking was lost to time, until another claimed it and no one cared then either.

The Trolls fought no longer, and the Mods disappeared from Greed. And so rose several regulars who were trolls, who defended Greed from marauding Nukers, Spammers, and other beasts. This was a golden era of Greed.

Modern Peace
The Golden Era ended with the Second coming of Mod, and chaos reigned supreme for a while. But then came new regulars, and they restored to Greed vigor and vision. Then came the Third coming of Mod, and he struck down many a regular with almighty silences, some up to 24 hours! Following this dark day, the brave and noble SirShakes thus created the knightly order of Sirs, protectors of Greed. Led by Shakes, and his officers; Endowed Sharks, contemplative Shrugs, KFC-loving Slaves, and delicious Steaks. The other Sirs are also indeed noble knights, but there do lurk pretenders to the Sir name. Mostly anyone without an S in front, or out of sync with the length of names.

Then lo, a regular of divine beauty, grace and elegance, the exquisite Exquisite, became Mod, and she reigned over Greed with a gentle hand, and prosperity abounded. The dynasty of Exquisite lasted for thousands of hours, but all too soon came to an end when she lost her internet and couldn't come online so much anymore.

After the end of the Exquisite dynasty, another Coming of Mod occured, but this one, verily named Cartrodus, was different. Wise. Charming. German. He earned the respect of Greed, and Greed thought he was better than most Mods.

The Modish Inquisition
The unexpected Modish Inquisition happened at the end of May, and marked an era of suffering for the just and righteous Greedians. One pursued a vagrant troll, a Sir of unknown name, after many an hour, to Greed, and found SirShakes, leader of the knightly order. Assuming that it was Shakes, he proceeded to wage war upon Greed, calling for backup. Two Wicked Mods worked in tandem, abusing their powers of good for their own selfish purpose in Good Mod Cartrodus' absence.

Fighting together to liberate themselves of the dark curse of Shit Mods that had befallen the land, the Troll Regulars of Greed took up arms and arguments in a revolt against the Two. Many a Regular and Sir was aflicted with a curse of sudden silence that dark night, though the stinging attacks against the Wicked Mods continued to the point where it became apparent that Mods were not immortal, and the Two were chased out.

Upon discovering what his fallen brethren had done, Good Mod Cartrodus vowed in furious rage and glorious vengeance to protect the Greedlings from abused power and to "leave a message about this in the Mod Lounge." With a sigh of relief, the Regulars and other Greedians were able to return to their lives and games in steadfast peace and prosperity.

Rules!
Here are some general, common knowledge, rules of Greed.

1) Trying to get around the room filters by spacing out your letters (ie. f uck) is lame and subject to supreme ridicule.

2) Do not claim any superiority unless you're an affirmed regular.

3) If you are new, you should expect a minor harassing. It's not uncommon.

4) If you have no backbone, gtfo. This is not the place for you.

5) It could always use more desu. Disregard this, I'm a douche.

6) Be fully punctuated with your posts as much as possible. We really dislike inbred retards who can't spell the word "you" properly.

7) If you make a big deal of your gender, expect that an even bigger deal will be made of it. This is not likely to be pleasant.

8) Anyone with "Naruto," "666" or "Cool" (Including "Kewl") in their name is marked for humiliation.

9) Using "your" rather than "you're" as a contraction of "you are" will subject you to massive unending scorn.

10) If you expect to be instantly accepted, go to Chocolate Hostage.

11) We don't want you here.

12) Deal with it.

13) Pics or it didn't happen.

14) The peanut gallery is to stay silent.