The River

The River, owned by the beautiful Lucky_Miles, is a room like no other. The River is obviously the best chatroom on Kongregate, but we have no credit for it. For the River!


 * The behaviour guidelines of Kongregate apply just as much, if not more so, here in this article.

Lucky_Miles
Lucky__Miles is the current owner of The River.

AStrawberrySlush
AStrawberrySlush Also known as ASS, ARF (Only by ApprenticeChief), Slushy, or Rachel. She's the most awesome person The River has ever been lucky to meet. She's rather sarcastic and crude, but that just makes her more loveable. You can also find her in Cafe Kong when she's on wading in The River. She selects very few to be her friend. If you take the time to read her profile, you will notice that she doesn't want to be bothered by your problems. This is very true, she couldn't give two shits. She wishes she could control her outbursts at idiots in hopes to become a mod so she can steal The River away from Lucky_Miles (Who she appreciates and all, but she just wants to own The River). Pay no mind to her use of Caps, and her spammy way of typing. She's not trolling, it's just how she types. Get used to it. Due to Frogmanex, the former owner and queen of The River, leaving, she overtook the title as Queen of The River. Don't be intimidated to talk to her. She probably won't bite your head off.

Zak7062
Zak7062 is the Wiki Editor and a TRRP activist. Has been River Wading since 2008.

Casada_Radio
He's a radio. What else needs to be known?

ShadedUmbreon
Almost been around for a month as of 9-19. Also a regular role player, and will accept legitimate challenges whenever she has the time.

Edit: She's also a Touhou Fanatic. Anyone else that know or are addicted to Touhou please contact Queen Shae, At The Crescent Moon Temple in The River.

Drummermean
Drummermean has been a regular for many years but missed out on a lot of the River's great history due to an extended break. He has now returned to a barren chatroom, attempting to be restored by TRRP.

MizuNoKuni
A huge tank who is known by many names, but hated, but loved equally by all. Mizu has reached the rank of idolism in the River. And also his poop smells like super fruity pebbles...I dare you to check...

MIzu's Alt. Army :)

Banned = 2

Silenced = 11

Haloan147SUX, WhyIzWeDoughnuts, InsertRifleHere, VodkaFTW, FreeSoda, MegaMizu, hi 224, Trollololz, EatCookies, MilkWithLemon, BishIsMyMizu, MedicMizu, Dr_Mizu, FiremanMizu, SurgeonMizu, NinjaMizu, RussianMizu, ScottishMizu, JapaneseMizu, FriendlyMizu, SadFaceMizu, Mizu_Mizu, FishMizu, HeyItzMizu, Goodmizugonebad, TherapistMizu, ChocolateMizu, DaddyMizu, ButcherMizu, MizuDog, DrunkenMizu, 5footBananaMizu, Mizu_RAWX, Mizu_RAWR, InUrEndOMizu, DayuuumItzMizu, TallGlassOfMizu, DailyDoseOfMizu, lVl_I_Z_U, MizuLegal, GeneralGreen, Mizus4Dummbies, Iammizuplayah, Mizunoxia.

dragonreborn567
Is too lazy to be buggered doing much other than mocking you. But wants you to know he still cares. ♥ (He also gets many Draggasms from looking at pictures of windows.)

Cordelius 100
Cordy, as he is known throughout the River, is a sort of keeper of the peace, similar to Gamez4Dummbies. He protects this peaceful place from trolls, douches, and total idiots. He is an agreeable person, but will disarm you in an argument if you care to be something as mentioned above. Of course, this is all lies. ArmenianNinja (see below) argued with this idiot and had a victory as sweet as nectar. He doesn't "keep peace" because there is still mass chaos. If he would protect the place from trolls, douches, and total idiots, then he'd have to be defending against himself. He simply is too bullheaded to see this.

Frothr
Who?

Iamgoldplayer/ArmenianNinja/FloodGravemind
Same person, big difference. Well, not really. Which ever name he uses he's still an ass, he tell you he loves you then insult you. He thinks his a big shot in the river, he's got lots of friends, and alot more enimes, he talk alot and doesnt know when to stop. He often goes to far with his insults and gets silenced by the occasional mod. When you meet him...beware. OH MY GOD I LOVE WHOEVER WROTE THIS! Anyhow, I am quite an ass, although I am more of a douchebag, and I really do love you <3. It's just "tough" love if you want to say that. I KNOW I'm a bigshot in The River (might sound cocky) and I know people don't like me. I really don't give a shit. I enjoy being silenced, actually, and find it to be an interesting activity. BEWARE FOOLS.

BloodyCaesar:
Hath been one Regular since the Fall of The year of Grace of our Lord MMVIII (XXVIII of December), and shallt be until The Great Sky crumbles and Slay us in the XXI th day of MMXII. Or perhaps for longer.

Hath been voted a God by Riverans in the very late month of February, MMVIII. But hath no true power.

Hath been killed by Bunnies in MMIX, hence is not killable anymore.

Nutter666
Nutter666 has being a regular in The River since 2008, as well as developing numerous games based on conversations in The River.

KoalaBars
That one chick that everyone loves and most would sex up. If you seek an odd conversation, look no further than the Ko.

McIntosh
The second god of The River. He has the ability to empty the place simply by leaving the room. ~This is Mc speaking. The time of The Return has come. I seek Yin. -Gr speaking. Yin is usually on in my mornings... figure that out for you I have run out of intelligence for the day...

GeneralRed
Pretty much the most awesome person you will ever meet. Period. Ever. No questions. If you ask you will be eliminated by thirteen Red ops snipers (see what I did thar?)

EmoAshe16
Has been a Rivarian since she was "born" in the river in December of the year 2009. She is a really weird but cool person. Dont listen to what she says about you she doesnt mean it.~*unless you deserve it and know that you do*~ She is a generally nice person to most of the new comers in The River.

Gamez4Dummbies
She is bullied constantly and, surprisingly, holds up well. Although loved by many, she has gone through various "relationships", but seems to know they are complete bullshit. She is a very hidden person and knows more than most think... don't be surprised when she finally joins the "upper" group of The River. She is very loved and very hated all the same, much like everybody else in The River.

Conrad_
A sweet guy that you'll love to meet, hes shy and quiet, and sometimes seeming just a little too innocent, hes always got mischeif tucked up his sleeve; hes a nice guy and great to be friends with. But dont get on his bad side your might end up an enemy for life. Conny's a really cool kid that just learned the true meaning of life and realization. Conny has a great potential to be one of The River's greatest regulars.

Goodgirlsgonebad
The cool cat of The River. She's the queen of The River and all around good girl.

The morons who wrote this stuff
Pitiful. Very pitiful.

The "Upper" group
This is a group of regulars that have been around for more than a year or are commonly loved by all...

AbsoluteYin/Realisation

dragonreborn567

McIntosh

AStrawberrySlush

MizuNoKuni

ArmenianNinja/Iamgoldplayer/FloodGravemind

ShadedUmbreon

Conrad_

The River's Blog
The River's blog is ran by Casada_Radio. Get all of The River news from there.

http://kong-river-o.blogspot.com/

TRRP
This is a dead program.

TRRP stands for The River Restoration Project. It is a movement to restore the former glory of The River before it was over run by noobs and trolls. It plans to bring back the old regulars (who have had their names removed from the wiki until they agree to come back and help) and, with their united assistance, to remove all the trolls and restore the chat to its former glory.TRRP was founded by CabbyCakes and AStrawberrySlush. However, due to a step down from leadership, CabbyCakes has left TRRP. Longtime regulars of The River are welcome to join TRRP at any time. However, noobs of The River may need to be voted in. TRRP also has defense force called RiverShield (RS).

TRRP is a peaceful group, dedicated to making The River the best it can be. We are not in any way a raid group and will not tolerate any raiding. As a member of the TRRP you will do your best, visit regularly, and talk in The River when you're online. You'll also be expected to remain calm when trolls are trolling the room. Just mute them and ignore. Do NOT under any circumstances flame or "counter troll" them as this just leads to further problems and even more trolling.

Unfortunately, due to problems, TRRP was cancelled. However, it left it's mark on The Riverians. New members have flocked to The River and now call it their home. It's believed this program may have helped bring in new regulars.

TRRP Members:
AStrawberrySlush

Zak7062

Casada_Radio

flar3fir3

dannysheperd

MilesIsOnline

Drummermean

iNightLord500

MizuNoKuni

Nutter666

EmoAshe16

samanthaccp

GeneralRed

QueenOfGorm

yesiamthatman

JiiNxY

GammaFoxx

Missing Regulars:
ApprenticeChief

MarsIsHere

Banned843

Lanson

thejoshmoloony

Cancancoo

Guypersonman

Bundles

Thesnitzchelman

Crossflame

ArmsofGlory

Timmilemons

RiverShield
RiverShield, or RS, is The River's defense force. RS' members dedicate their time to protecting The River. They will declare a Mass Mute or MM over a troll or spammer.Below is the list of the members of TRRP that are in RS.

AStrawberrySlush: Queen

Zak7062: Cowboy Casanova Explosives Expert

MizuNoKuni: Counter Troll Ninja

EmoAshe16: Fire Panther

Nutter666: Forsaken Angel

yesiamthatman: The Key of Destiny

Riverian Quotes
This section is for all the great quotes from The River.

Zak7062: And the Lord said LET THERE BE LIGHT! and Zak said o.o okay okay you dont have to shout!!!

samanthaccp: o.o

caboosereturns: And Cab Said CLAMMIT! You BOTH SHOULD BE WORKING!

Zak7062: hahahaha

caboosereturns: Then Zak slapped him and told him to stop pretending he was the boss.

___

KoalaBars: Also, we can discuss sexism, the mods are away and Koalas will play

***

timmilemons: RACHEL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD

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McIntosh: \w mcintoshfail I’m after rachel in the most sexual of ways

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Sarah345: DREW 

Sarah345: MAKE ME A SAMMICH

DrewEntreri: Three Whore Five…I don’t know how long ago you requested that I make your sammich, but I’m back on now…What kind would you like?

***

KoalaBars: IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE HAD LIT VAGINA TO MY FIRE RACHEL

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KoalaBars: Erin is like

KoalaBars: The happiest panda in africa

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KoalaBars: Ok…so appreatnyl while drtunls

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AbsoluteYin: Did you sit on my jizz D<