Greed

Greed is a mixed bag amongst the Kongregate Chatrooms. It is filled with several types of people. It has characters that are dynamic, ranging from being calm, sensitive beings to cold, hard, unmentionable names. It also has characters that are simple, focusing on specific roles, like the babbling spammer, or the bashing troll. However, all of them have a place in Greed. The spammer is generally to exercise the role of the mute button, and the bashing troll helps regulars learn to defend themselves without calling for a moderator. Greed is not a place to be entered without any sort of caution. Going in and saying whatever comes to mind will likely to get you shot down by trolling Anti-Aircraft cannon like you were a Zeppelin made of fail. They follow not the rules of konduct established by Kongregate, but their own. The number of rules is unknown, suspected to be around 30.

As such, Greed has become known as the Modless zone, which is rather untrue. Occasionally we are visited by more rational mods. Exquisite is a moderator who happens to be on every morning! She's fairly reasonable with her decisions, and will generally act in favor of the people, rather than seeing everything as black-and-white, as most mods do. Hexed will have babies with her some day. Even if he has to get her eyeballs pregnant, he will do it.

Also, if you think you should be in the regular list, speak to a regular and we will look into it.

Regular Mods
Exquisite
 * Of the mods there could be, only one shall ever be mentioned. Owner of the Greed Chat, she alone stands as moderator of Greed. However, this is fine. Greed rarely needs anyone in it, the regulars take good care of it. Ex was a long time, well known regular of Greed before even considering being a mod.  This is one of the main reasons why she is accepted within Greed. According to her profile, Exquisite will be on Kongregate less often, as she has cancelled internet at home.

Cartrodus
 * A mod from Germany, who has recently become somewhat of a regular on Greed (possibly to take the place of Ex in her absence). He is relatively relaxed, and has an adequate sense of humor to get along with the Greed regulars.

Regulars
Aestin
 * A very quiet guy but when he decides to speak up, he's quite funny. He's always worth talking to. Be wary, he may crush your head with his thighs... OF STEEEEL

Amberlei
 * If you have to ask, she's not your type. She's not inflatable.

Andr0o
 * Lurks like a motherfucker. Comes out of nowhere to strike, and vanishes just as fast.

xBlahx
 * Youngest of the Greed regulars, but shouldn't be underestimated because of this. Despite his age, he can still hold his own in an intelligent conversation.

Cyberkinetic
 * 6th dimensional being who recently took a 4 dimensional form to interact with our people. Can divide by 0. Twice.

DeadLucky
 * A veteran Greed late-night regular, now back from an extended bout of inactivity. Drunken inactivity. The type of guy who you would find hunched over a drink in the corner of a bar, shouting obscenities and giving unneeded advice. Wasted. He claims he isn't an alcoholic as he doesn't "go to meetings."

DeviouSecret
 * OG.

Hexed1
 * Hexed is the man that you would expect to see wearing his underpants on his head in the park one day, screaming at the birds; sitting in a Borders sipping smuggled Kahlua and coffee while discoursing on Faust the next day; yet on a third day seducing your wife in a Ferarri Enzo that he probably stole from a valet parking lot. Possibly a nigra. Has the newest model of customizable Jesus.

Idivinev
 * Definitely not Venividi

insomniacdreamer


 * Another female of greed. Very well known, and loved, by the regulars. She tends to space out and jump into conversations randomly, so don't feel bad if she just stops talking to you in the middle of a conversation. Never afraid to tell anyone what she thinks. The only downside to Dreamer is the fact that she constantly declines the offer to have anyone's babies.

jkukla
 * Not as active these days, but still an old favorite. Has been known to start impromptu raves with Shakes.


 * "Hurgablargh!"

JoeSixPack
 * Logic buster! Seriously, this guy sits and waits quietly. You won't know when he's around, then suddenly he'll drop a logic bomb on you like the Americans dropped on the Japanese back in Dubya Dubya Two! This hobo is way depressing. Watch out for his freeze-ray or run the risk of becoming emo. The only known cure for this is finding a pit, filling it with dead kittens, lighting it on fire, and dying in it. Note that holes filled with flaming kittens are more common than you'd expect in Greed.

Kilroy8675309
 * Secretary of Awesome. He sports a wide range of awesome and a razor sharp wit. He is one of the strongest weapons Greed has against "Bad Mods."


 * Write something that doesn't suck about him.

PaperMache
 * He loves you, whether you want him to or not. Try to fight it all you want, but it will happen. He will find you, and he will love you. He also has a strange tendency that he will become Greed's savior when the apocalypse of kongregate happens. Along with several others, they shall save kongregate from little 13 year old raiders.
 * "I like hairy babies"

pinkNERD
 * Canadian Airhead! One of the few confirmed females of Greed. Previously known as Pinkskittle. Music is her hot hot sex.

ringkichard
 * Dick! But lovable dick. Intelligent person, too! One of the few to go toe to toe with Hexed and not give up.

SirShakes
 * Complete douche. The original Sir, as well as the general. As such, leads the Knights of Greed to conquest absolutely nothing and give everybody a headache. Try to touch pinkNERD and he'll reign down upon you with the thunderous fury of a hundred thousand keystrokes with such scathing intensity that you will feel your very soul burn.

SirSharks
 * The Brigadier, and second in command, of the Knights of Greed(A.K.A. Brotherhood of Sirs). Enjoys pointing out that he is a shark, and as such has twice the genitalia any man could hope to have, known as "claspers".


 * "I'M A SHARK!
 * I'M A SHAAARK!
 * SUCK MY DIIIIIICK!
 * I'M A SHAAAAAAAAARK!"

SirShucks
 * An odd one to be sure, one of the several Sirs. Unlike the others, with a personality co-inciding with their given sur/sirnames, he would prefer to seduce one of his brothers to shucking corn. [[Image:Shrugs.jpg|thumb|Shrugs at work.]]

SirShacks
 * One of the less energetic Knights, he generally sits back and watches until something bad happens. There have been speculations that he doesn't actually exist as a three dimensional being.

SirSnacks
 * Enjoys snacking and evading the word filter, much to the dismay of his brothers. Still one of the better Knights. Has been MIA for some time now.

SirShaves
 * Yet another member of the Sirs. Grows lengthy facial/pubic hair every ten minutes resulting in him having to shave constantly. He enjoys Shaving himself and others also being shaved by others.

SirShrugs
 * One of the newest Knights, but also one of the most promising. Has already taken the rank of Colonel. Astounds people with his sharp wit and lack of enthusiasm.

SirSlaves
 * I swear it's not racist. Colonel of the Knights of Greed alongside SirShrugs. Quite clever and quick-witted, though it might not always show through his accent and stereotypical tendancies.
 * Alright, I lied, it's a little racist.

SirSpooks
 * *hides face*

SirSteaks
 * Lieutenant Colonel of the Knights of Greed. One of the few that doesn't take every opportunity to force a pun about his name.

SirSweets
 * Watermelon that wants to be a watermelon flavored hard candy, and Major of the Knights of Greed. Enjoys making puns involving the word sweet and yelling at children asking where the white women at.

SweetnLow
 * Not Splenda.

Wargazm
 * Awesome person with a strange sense of humor. Beware, he can troll up with the best of them while maintaining a less than serious look.

Zapatista626
 * Greed's Mexican. Tries far too hard to be liked by the other regulars, but manages to get some recognition.

1337Theory
 * God of Sex. Seriously dangerous. Approach with caution. He will turn your asscheeks into bosoms!

In The Beginning
First, there was empty internet. Then, came the coming of Greer, who rose up and said, "Hey, a flash game site with chat would be pretty sweet." On the first day, he coded and hired people to code, and lo, there was Kongregate. On the second day, they set upon making chat rooms, for discerning tastes.

In the ages since, people from far and wide have joined and spent their days enjoying games, but mainly just trying to gather a massive amount of h4x 1337 points. But with them came the Trolls, and the Nukers, the Spammers, and the Pr0n links. Seeing this, Greer was saddened and angered. Thus, lo, on the fourth day Greer created Mod to watch over his people. But not all Mods were Good Mods, as they also contained free will. Hence, he created a system to ensure they too followed the rules of his land.

The Creation of Greed and The First Era of Modlessness
On the fifth day came Greed, and it was good. One of the Rooms named for the Seven Deadly Sins, it was a haven of Trolls. The other rooms named for Sin were too, heavy with Trolls, but soon were reduced to RP rooms and cleanly places of noobery. Greed, however, distinguished itself by its intellectual regulars and general high quality of conversation and was known throughout the land as the home of a different, if not superior breed, of denizen.

In these early days, all was right and just in Greed, as Mod had little issue with the kindly citizens of Greed and made scarse their visits. An occasional unwitting Mod did foolhardedly venture into Greed from time to time, but mostly left the Room to its own devices, possibly due to the known tenacity and ferocity of it's trolls when roused to action.

Obvious Gap in History
... and then AIDS. AIDS always happens.

The First Coming of Mod and The Golden Era of Modlessness
Then came one penis-swinging Mod, and his wrath was mighty and terrible. He struck down the Trollking, and his subjects, in a battle that shook all of Greed and left it barren and desolate for like, an hour.

Then reigned peace, and in that time, the Trollking left, and his subjects fought a bitter war for the title. Then they just stopped caring and left Greed for places unknown. In this time of peace came a great many regulars; And lo, there was a commune of common interest, and Greed became an anarchy. The title of Trollking was lost to time, until another claimed it and no one cared then either.

The Trolls fought no longer, and the Mods disappeared from Greed. And so rose several regulars who were trolls, who defended Greed from marauding Nukers, Spammers, and other beasts. This was a golden era of Greed.

Modern Peace
The Golden Era ended with the Second coming of Mod, and chaos reigned supreme for a while. But then came new regulars, and they restored to Greed vigor and vision. Then came the Third coming of Mod, and he struck down many a regular with almighty silences, some up to 24 hours! Following this dark day, the brave and noble SirShakes thus created the knightly order of Sirs, protectors of Greed. Led by Shakes, and his officers; Endowed Sharks, contemplative Shrugs, KFC-loving Slaves, and delicious Steaks. The other Sirs are also indeed noble knights, but there do lurk pretenders to the Sir name. Mostly anyone without an S in front, or out of sync with the length of names.

Then lo, a regular of divine beauty, grace and elegance, the exquisite Exquisite, became Mod, and she reigned over Greed with a gentle hand, and prosperity abounded. The dynasty of Exquisite lasted for thousands of hours, but all too soon came to an end when she lost her internet and couldn't come online so much anymore.

After the end of the Exquisite dynasty, another Coming of Mod occured, but this one, verily named Cartrodus, was different. Wise. Charming. German. He earned the respect of Greed, and Greed thought he was better than most Mods.

The Modish Iquisition
The unexpected Modish Inquisition happened at the end of May, and marked an era of suffering for the just and righteous Greedians. One pursued a vagrant troll, a Sir of unknown name, after many an hour, to Greed, and found SirShakes, leader of the knightly order. Assuming that it was Shakes, he proceeded to wage war upon Greed, calling for backup. Two Wicked Mods worked in tandem, abusing their powers of good for their own selfish purpose in Good Mod Cartrodus' absence.

Fighting together to liberate themselves of the dark curse of Shit Mods that had befallen the land, the Troll Regulars of Greed took up arms and arguments in a revolt against the Two. Many a Regular and Sir was aflicted with a curse of sudden silence that dark night, though the stinging attacks against the Wicked Mods continued to the point where it became apparent that Mods were not immortal, and the Two were chased out.

Upon discovering what his fallen bretheren had done, Good Mod Cartrodus vowed in furious rage and glorious vengeance to protect the Greedlings from abused power and to "leave a message about this in the Mod Lounge." With a sigh of relief, the Regulars and other Greedians were able to return to their lives and games in steadfast peace and prosperity.

Rules!
Here are some general, common knowledge, rules of Greed.

1) Trying to get around the room filters by spacing out your letters (ie. f uck) is lame and subject to supreme ridicule.

2) Do not claim any superiority unless you're an affirmed regular.

3) If you are new, you should expect a minor harassing. It's not uncommon.

4) If you have no backbone, gtfo. This is not the place for you.

5) It could always use more desu. Disregard this, I'm a douche.

6) Be fully punctuated with your posts as much as possible. We really dislike inbred retards who can't spell the word "you" properly.

7) Girls are expected and required to prove their Girlness, before accepted as a real Girl (You know as in the kind with Boobs and Fajajays).

8) Anyone with Naruto or Cool (Including Kewl) in their name is marked for humiliation.

9) Using "your" rather than "you're" as a contraction of "you are" will subject you to massive unending scorn.

10) If you expect to be instantly accepted, go to The Hive.

11) We don't want you here.

12) Deal with it.

13) Pics or it didn't happen.