The River

The River, owned by the beautiful Lucky_Miles, is a room like no other. The River is obviously the best chatroom on Kongregate, but we have no credit for it. For the River!


 * The behaviour guidelines of Kongregate apply just as much, if not more so, here in this article.

Lucky_Miles
Lucky__Miles is the current owner of The River.

AStrawberrySlush
AStrawberrySlush Biggest faggot you'll ever meet. She eats everything in sight, including sewage. She likes to party with her kong boys, eat chips out of dumpsters, be racist and practice long division. She has a foot fetish, and particularly likes tiny feet on guys. She will love you even more if you wear zebra print. She is a well known virgin, this is because her vagina is so tight she can barely fit two fingers. Once you get to know her, she is still a noncaring asshole, so there is no point. She is a avid LARPer and loves to make fun of less fortunate people. Regardless, she is one fo the best people on Kong. Until she goes blonde.

Zak7062
Zak7062 is the Wiki Editor and a TRRP activist. Has been River Wading since 2008.

Casada_Radio
He's a radio. What else needs to be known?

Drummermean
Drummermean has been a regular for many years but missed out on a lot of the River's great history due to an extended break. He has now returned to a barren chatroom, attempting to be restored by TRRP.

MizuNoKuni
A huge tank who is known by many names, but hated, but loved equally by all. Mizu has reached the rank of idolism in the River. And also his poop smells like super fruity pebbles...I dare you to check...

MIzu's Alt. Army :)

Banned = 2

Silenced = 11

Haloan147SUX, WhyIzWeDoughnuts, InsertRifleHere, VodkaFTW, FreeSoda, MegaMizu, hi 224, Trollololz, EatCookies, MilkWithLemon, BishIsMyMizu, MedicMizu, Dr_Mizu, FiremanMizu, SurgeonMizu, NinjaMizu, RussianMizu, ScottishMizu, JapaneseMizu, FriendlyMizu, SadFaceMizu, Mizu_Mizu, FishMizu, HeyItzMizu, Goodmizugonebad, TherapistMizu, ChocolateMizu, DaddyMizu, ButcherMizu, MizuDog, DrunkenMizu, 5footBananaMizu, Mizu_RAWX, Mizu_RAWR, InUrEndOMizu, DayuuumItzMizu, TallGlassOfMizu, DailyDoseOfMizu, lVl_I_Z_U, MizuLegal, GeneralGreen, Mizus4Dummbies, Iammizuplayah, Mizunoxia.

Frothr
Chillest person in The River

Iamgoldplayer/ArmenianNinja/FloodGravemind
Same person, big difference. Well, not really. Which ever name he uses he's still an ass, he tell you he loves you then insult you. He thinks his a big shot in the river, he's got lots of friends, and alot more enimes, he talk alot and doesnt know when to stop. He often goes to far with his insults and gets silenced by the occasional mod. When you meet him...beware. OH MY GOD I LOVE WHOEVER WROTE THIS! Anyhow, I am quite an ass, although I am more of a douchebag, and I really do love you <3. It's just "tough" love if you want to say that. I KNOW I'm a bigshot in The River (might sound cocky) and I know people don't like me. I really don't give a shit. I enjoy being silenced, actually, and find it to be an interesting activity. BEWARE FOOLS.

BloodyCaesar:
Hath been one Regular since the Fall of The year of Grace of our Lord MMVIII (XXVIII of December), and shallt be until The Great Sky crumbles and Slay us in the XXI th day of MMXII. Or perhaps for longer.

Hath been voted a God by Riverans in the very late month of February, MMVIII. But hath no true power.

Hath been killed by Bunnies in MMIX, hence is not killable anymore.

Nutter666
Nutter666 has being a regular in The River since 2008, as well as developing numerous games based on conversations in The River.

KoalaBars
That one chick that everyone loves and most would sex up. If you seek an odd conversation, look no further than the Ko.

McIntosh
The second god of The River. He has the ability to empty the place simply by leaving the room. ~This is Mc speaking. The time of The Return has come. I seek Yin. -Gr speaking. Yin is usually on in my mornings... figure that out for you I have run out of intelligence for the day...

GeneralRed
Pretty much the most awesome person you will ever meet. Period. Ever. No questions. If you ask you will be eliminated by thirteen Red ops snipers (see what I did thar?)

EmoAshe16
Has been a Rivarian since she was "born" in the river in December of the year 2009. She is a really weird but cool person. Dont listen to what she says about you she doesnt mean it.~*unless you deserve it and know that you do*~ She is a generally nice person to most of the new comers in The River.

Conrad_
He used to be the top regular of The River for awhile. Everyone knew him by his many nicknames: Conrad, Con, Conny, Cummy, Rad, and the list goes on and on. He was the guy everyone knew about in The River. He had left for emotional reasons of getting to close to people's problems. They ended up giving him serious pain...he went MIA for a long time. He seems to find his way back everynow and then...no one greets him anymore. There's only a few loyal people that stay by his side and are the true Regulars of The River! He was a defender of it! He trolled anyone he didn't like out of The River! He gave them warning's before they did anything stupid...he protected people...he cared for them...then he fell apart. The days gloomed for him...dark were his days... He came in without any joy one day...as if his life fell apart. People got worried...he grew angry and vengeful against everyone. Attacking anyone who crossed his path and brought new people to The River from Chill Lounge to show them what a true Kongregate chatroom should be like. Instead of a whore hole as it is today...it is overrun be orgies...only a few women are there and they take all the punishment. Forced sex...and they enjoy it sometimes...the perverts run loose now...we need Conrad back! We need our Hero! Our defender and champion of The River! *Epic music plays and the record ends mid way as the camera zooms in. A guy whispers...* He's here... *Sudden dramatic ending*

Sarah345/SarahisHere/(list still in progress)
====Sarah345 was born to the river in Novermber, 2009. Her actual name is Corinne (she was doing a friend a favor by making an account for her but she didn't want it so Corinne stole it).She has always been known for her amazing breaking-newcomers-into-their-spamming-stage techniques, Drive-by trollings, being a whore, being supportive when it is needed, and so on. Her holyness has been awarded from multiple things including:==== ==== Fighting in the final battle of TRW2 (The River War 2) in the elite Counter-Trolling squadron (See The Second River War below) which was the only forwarding squad, who were going to The room Pride to defeat Spaghediety and his evil army of Rubber Drapes.==== Personally defeating Spaghediety

And many, many, more.

The River's Blog
The River's blog is ran by Casada_Radio. Get all of The River news from there.

http://kong-river-o.blogspot.com/

TRRP
This is a dead program.

TRRP stands for The River Restoration Project. It is a movement to restore the former glory of The River before it was over run by noobs and trolls. It plans to bring back the old regulars (who have had their names removed from the wiki until they agree to come back and help) and, with their united assistance, to remove all the trolls and restore the chat to its former glory.TRRP was founded by CabbyCakes and AStrawberrySlush. However, due to a step down from leadership, CabbyCakes has left TRRP. Longtime regulars of The River are welcome to join TRRP at any time. However, noobs of The River may need to be voted in. TRRP also has defense force called RiverShield (RS).

TRRP is a peaceful group, dedicated to making The River the best it can be. We are not in any way a raid group and will not tolerate any raiding. As a member of the TRRP you will do your best, visit regularly, and talk in The River when you're online. You'll also be expected to remain calm when trolls are trolling the room. Just mute them and ignore. Do NOT under any circumstances flame or "counter troll" them as this just leads to further problems and even more trolling.

Unfortunately, due to problems, TRRP was cancelled. However, it left it's mark on The Riverians. New members have flocked to The River and now call it their home. It's believed this program may have helped bring in new regulars.

TRRP Members:
AStrawberrySlush

Zak7062

Casada_Radio

flar3fir3

dannysheperd

MilesIsOnline

Drummermean

iNightLord500

MizuNoKuni

Nutter666

EmoAshe16

samanthaccp

GeneralRed

QueenOfGorm

yesiamthatman

JiiNxY

GammaFoxx

Missing Regulars:
ApprenticeChief

MarsIsHere

Banned843

Lanson

thejoshmoloony

Cancancoo

Guypersonman

Bundles

Thesnitzchelman

Crossflame

ArmsofGlory

Timmilemons

Sarah345 (no longer missing)

RiverShield
RiverShield, or RS, is The River's defense force. RS' members dedicate their time to protecting The River. They will declare a Mass Mute or MM over a troll or spammer.Below is the list of the members of TRRP that are in RS.

AStrawberrySlush: Queen

Zak7062: Cowboy Casanova Explosives Expert

MizuNoKuni: Counter Troll Ninja

EmoAshe16: Fire Panther

Nutter666: Forsaken Angel

Sarah345: The "Morale Keeper"

Riverian Quotes
This section is for all the great quotes from The River.

Zak7062: And the Lord said LET THERE BE LIGHT! and Zak said o.o okay okay you dont have to shout!!!

samanthaccp: o.o

caboosereturns: And Cab Said CLAMMIT! You BOTH SHOULD BE WORKING!

Zak7062: hahahaha

caboosereturns: Then Zak slapped him and told him to stop pretending he was the boss.

___

KoalaBars: Also, we can discuss sexism, the mods are away and Koalas will play

***

timmilemons: RACHEL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD

***

McIntosh: \w mcintoshfail I’m after rachel in the most sexual of ways

***

Sarah345: DREW 

Sarah345: MAKE ME A SAMMICH

DrewEntreri: Three Whore Five…I don’t know how long ago you requested that I make your sammich, but I’m back on now…What kind would you like?

***

KoalaBars: IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE HAD LIT VAGINA TO MY FIRE RACHEL

***

KoalaBars: Erin is like

KoalaBars: The happiest panda in africa

***

KoalaBars: Ok…so appreatnyl while drtunls

***

FR35HPRINC3Of10: ii have a 3.4 gpa' McIntosh: Not hard to do in special ed classes.

***

'''dragonreborn567: No… No, you go with it. I want ANSWERS! '''

'''samanthaccp: YOU ARE GAY! YOURMOTHER HATES YOU! YOU WERE ADOPTED! samanthaccp: AND THE WORLD IS TRYING TO KILLL YOOUUUU o.o'''

***

DrewEntreri: Am I the only person that was not turned into a zombie?' AbsoluteYin: I wasn’t. Now it’s up to us to repopulate the world. DrewEntreri: Oh….quit trying to get me into bed with you.

***

'''werewolf505050: Alright eibot, I need you to go get a rope and a chair, and maybe even a buddy to help you out with this one. I’m gonna get you a link on how to hang yourself, because it would just be helping us all out.'''

***

MarsIsHere: Sarah.

Sarah345: Mars.

MarsIsHere: How come I don’t have any qoutes on your profile MarsIsHere: ? Sarah345: give me one. MarsIsHere: **** you. Sarah345: quoted.



schwerganoik: I can’t decide / whether you should live or die / Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven / please don’t hang your head and cry

schwerganoik: No wonder why / my heart is dead inside / cold and hard and petrified / lock the doors and close the blinds / we’re going for a ride

Realisation: When there’s something wrong / In the neighbourhood

EmosBleed: But WHO THE **** ARE YOU EmosBleedsVagina: I EmosBleedsVagina: am… Siyakon: reported

***

bobby87412: do you use completely correct grammar when you’re texting your friends? RPGLord: No, Bobby, I ignore them.

***

AbsoluteYin: Worse things have happened in a democracy.

***

GeneralRed: You know, if Carmen SanDiego and Waldo, had a kid, No one would ever find it.