Buffet of Goodness

Welcome to the Buffet of Goodness!

Owned by JC, the Buffet of Goodness is definitely the most screwed up room in all of Kongregate! The Buffet used to be welcoming to new people but now it's mainly a room for the regulars. Every regulars tends to be rude, obnoxious, funny, and random but in a good way because we're awesome like that. The BoG has some of the strangest characters you can imagine. From Christian physcopaths to cat loving fanatics, the BoG has it all. Don't worry about fitting in, because standing out is the hardest thing you can do, unless you spam 'SPAM!' for a whole minute, which will probably end in you crying and everyone else laughing.

This room can be a lot of fun, but only if you're a member of the regulars club. To get initiated you must argue with Danktolker, and if you can't take the heat, then don't tickle the dragon. New people in the Buffet will usually be driven out by trolls or be creeped out and change rooms. If you are successful in not being ignored and happen to be a fun or random person then you may join the club...that or flirt with JCiesla.

NOTE: Never take us seriously 

Users
In no particular order

JCiesla
JCiesla is the best owner of the Buffet of Goodness! Tall, handsome, cunning and smart, he's been a resident of the room for almost all of his kongregate history. He was deemed a mod by the almighty King Taco and is now the head mod of the Buffet! He's a fun loving guy and easy to get along with as long as you're underrage. It won't be long before Danktolker calls the feds on JC for all the pedoing he has done to the innocent regs in the Buffet like Grace2020, Kayleeboox, riceluvr, Savannah386, AprilleOwnsYou...the victims go on and on. JCiesla is an excellent mod, tending to be overly nice with warnings. Don't push your luck though or he'll unleash his manly wrath all over your face, unless that's what you want. Follow the rules and you'll have no problem getting along with JC! He's helpful and is the guy to COME to if you have any questions about kong!

LargoJoeSqueezle
{C}This guy is the most outgoing guy you will ever meet, in BoG of course. Largo, is an alright guy to talk with and is always up for a good conversation or flaming Danktolker. He is always listening to music or off getting high somewhere. Largo loves girls with braces because they keep it METAL!!! \m/(>.<)\m/ Always seek Largo if you want to have some good laughs. Largo winks a lot...mostly at Grace, and she always blows kisses back...or slaps him.

Kayleeboox
{C}Sexy Lexi(the artist formerly known as Prince) this diva is a typical one, tending to contrast her self.

For all you non-smart people, that means one moment she's nice then when you blink, she turns into a drill sargent and tells you to drop on your knees and give her 20 BLOW pops. On her alone time, when Kayleeboox isn't at school, Lexi goes on Kong to roleplay with crazy white guys. This chick is outgoing though, and from what I hear she is agressive, passionate, feisty and arousing. Chat with Lexi if you want to have a good time, whether to converse or to cyber. {C}

halfrican
{C}halfrican: umad?

Nice truck hermano

YOU ARE EXCLUDED FROM CHICKEN CUTLET NIGHT {C}

Danktolker(Currently inhabited by Kirk)
{C}This guy... is the most religious guy you'll see in all the chatrooms! He's so righteous, that at first, it seems like he's just playing games for fun, leveling up and obtaining badges, but in reality he is observing which games are the most violent so he can report them to the FBI. He is also so misunderstood, because what seems to most people as trolling, and giving Christianity a bad name, he is actually preaching the word of God to the members of the Buffet and at the same time writing a report to his minister on how to preach in chat rooms over the internet. Dank is a role model to many people because of his strength he had towards so many tragedies in his life. Mr. Dan K Tolker is not only 26 years of age but he is a proud virgin. He is also a war hero, that went to Iraq but never fought. Dank lost his legs in the war, but he didn't get shot at, he didn't get hit by a bazooka, Dank lost his artificial legs from a luggage mix up when he was there for Spring Break. His original legs were amputated when he was a young boy. His mother died in the tragedy that was 9/11, his father has breast cancer and one of his three sisters has passed away. What made the news, besides the passing of his mother, was his uncle Herb who was the first ever person to die of a Marijuana overdose. Just don't insult Christianity(Rule 7 of the Buffet: DO NOT FEED DANKTOLKER!), he will always come back at you with an insult like calling you a Socialist or that as soon as you learned how to walk you were molested by your father. But yeah, this guy is cool, well at night at least. If you stay up long enough, you can see his true side, which is still trollsome but at the least not religious. AceFenrir on Danktolker: "BoG's entertainment after dark. ;D"

"Danktolker: Never forget friends, Jesus loves you all" {C}

Mancart
{C}Cultured and sophisticated, his witty repartee is legend within the Buffet. {C}Always quick with a kind word or a helping hand, he is one of the pillars of the Kongregate Community. All who have met find him Christ-like in demeanor, and wilds animals often gather around him in large groups. Mancart lives on a couch in the corner, and he feeds on n00b blood. This guy isn't an immature punk. He's a man! He makes most men, including Chuck Norris and the most interesting man(Dos Equis guy) in the universe to tremble in fear! One of the oldest members in the Buffet, he smokes weed recreationally and drinks alcohol or both, till he sees purple squirrels. He's a cool guy, who has his own opinions. Don't even try to argue, he will stump you with his manly logic. If you want to get his attention, since he's afk most of the time, just say Mancart is a n00b! And he will hit you harder then a young woman's first period. {C}

AprilleOwnsYouSad_face.jpg
AwesomeOwnsYou, no wait AprilleOwnsYou* is awesome. Whenever she goes on and types something, it's always awesome. Even if she stays in the chat and remains idle it is still awesome because Aprille's awesomeness rubs off on the chat, knowmsayin. Aprille always tends to be busy but once in a while goes in the Buffet to chat with the cool cats. This chick can't stop laughing when she goes to the circus and watches the clowns and stuff and has some of the best pick up lines known to man.

esta noche yo quiero estar contigo

estoy perdida sin ti!

Aren’t there 21 letters in the alphabet? Oh that’s right! I forgot u, r, a, q, t!

number1woofer
The most commonly accepted theory on number1woofer is that he has two personalities, one of which uses proper grammar, and one which does not. The one that uses proper grammar usually trolls whoever he can get his dirty mitts on. Sometimes, though, he will get defensive if provoked. Sometimes he will be normal, too, when he gets enough sleep. The one that does not use grammar is far more interesting, always ready to impartiate universal truths in layman's terms. He trolls too, but only with good reason, like a chaotically good gray knight. Imagine Batman, if he typed like a fifth grader. However, like any normal man, he has his times of weakness too, like when he says that he is gay to get attention and admits that he is a pathetic excuse for a human being. He also has a soft spot for Texas, the love of his life. Overall, if you want your self confidence lowered, talk to number1woofer.

SerynityVerp.png
What can I say about Seryn? She's hot, but old, like old hot though. Sery isn't old enough to be a cougar but she's not young enough to be a kitten. Seryn is a lurker. Some say she lurks because her boyfriend told her to meet him in the buffet one day, little does she know that he was just joking so he could leave her. Some say because she's intimidated by the general collective sexiness of the Buffet sometimes. Beware, she trolls nubs into submission with her sexy powers.

JCielsa: In all honesty....

JCiesla: I'd do her

puc4444: I would simply for reproductive purposes.

puc4444: She has a few traits I'd like to add into my bloodline.

Scrumpulate
Just like his name would suggest, Scrumplate is a very tasty kind of person. Scrumpulate can be as spicy as a Jalapeno pepper when he is using witty insults and grade-A comebacks, and as sweet as German chocolates when he is chatting with his newly-wed internet wife, aliaranel. Scrump can be sour on the rare occasions where he gets mad, and he can be bitter as well, but Scrump always has a flavor. Never does Scrump not contribute to the chatroom at all. He's one of the elders of the BoG as well, and with his age, he has lots of wisdom. Unfortuantly for him, age did not bring him many woman, besides for aliaranel, and Serynity. If you ever stop in the BoG, talk to Scrump, and you'll realize why I say he's as tasty as he is. {C}

riceluvr
{C}riceluvr is one of the sweetest chicks in the Buffet and she's funny/random. Plus she has a little wild side begging to come out. *Cough* PUMA *Cough* She has the 3B's, Brains... Well, not really. Brawn... Hmm, nothing in this category. As for Beauty, what can be more beautiful than white rice surrounded by a bowl? Rice loves to chat with anyone, especially if she is happy because she got some action. You can talk about anything with her except penis, or she will get possed by the dick devil {C}

Dukemaster911
im that star up in the sky

im that mountain peak up high

yeah i made it

im the worlds greatest

im that last breath of hope

when my backs against the rope

yeah i made it

im the worlds greatest

puc4444
Aside from Kongregate, puc gets in fights because he's a crazy son of a bitch, not just with people but with gators in the swamps. That is why puc worked on the swamps pulling trees out with his bare hands, to fight gators occasionally, till the day they all left cause they were tired of getting their tails kicked. His current mission is to raise an army of bastard to create the perfect master race, taken after himself to breed out stupidity and cowardice. After three or four generations of children raised with the same ideals there should be enough of them to eradicate whats left of the unworthy populace. But when his does go on Kongregate, h e loves to mess with people on there, primarily 8 year olds. puc4444 is a bit of a smart-aleck and is constantly joking around saying the craziest thing you could possibly hear. He livens up the Buffet to the extreme! He’s a nice guy (though he does pick on people a lot) and is definitely worth talking to. You will either think he is a stupid sack of shit or will be one of your favorite people in the Buffet due to his poetic ability to annihilate a noob.Though he would rather you not know… he’s a nice guy! The smartest person in the room!!!

BooByTraP
Oh, where to begin. This man is arguably one of the most interesting character in the BoG, second only to Danktolker himself. Hij is Nederlands, om te beginnen. Yeah, google translate that from Dutch to English if you really care that much. Booby is stoned 99% of his life, and the other 1% of the time he is rolling a blunt. Booby is 17 years old, and he's a good-spirited guy if you take the time to get to know him. Also, because he is Dutch, his vocabularly isn't as great as the other regs, but then again, that's one of the things that makes him unique. 50% of his vocabularly is racial slurs and swears, which he uses proudly. If you ask me, I think Booby represents Dutch people well. He's not even a troll, really. Just a funny guy. So, if you ever have the time, and Booby is on, give him a hello.

Soba
Soba is a chill tree throwing hippie who tells it like it is. She despises Rule 3 (Rule 3: Never talk about Fight Club). Hey, go figure. She's a calm gal, always somewhat optimistic, like the person that sees the cup with water in it, never half full or half empty, it's just water, be happy it's clean so drink it! She comes on sometimes and when she does, she's a laff. Great person to make an acquaintance with. {C}

Just_Twi
At times Twi can be sweet, funny, random, twizzler, annoying, currzzzy but she is NOT a great big bundle of nondescript. This girl ain't no girl, she's a woman! She ain't black but she got soul, she ain't young but she ain't old, shine like silver, burn like gold, SHE'S A WOMAAAAN! Ahem. She doesn't go to school, she already has her dream job. What is it you may ask? Stripper at McDonalds. Don't ask how she managed to get that job, but you can imagine ;) Having a lot of free time, Twi faps occasinally while thinking about Largo. Aside from that, she likes to stalk AceFenrir.

"LargoJoeSqueezle: Soba, why are you so awesome?

Just_Twi: Is that suprising Largo?" {C}

iHustleu
Hustleu is a man of a thousand words, but only one point: For noobs to leave the BoG. If you say one thing that shows your ignorance, Hustleu will make you wish you’d never been born. Don’t even think about telling your mom on him, either, because he can make her wish she had never been born, too. Hustleu also believes that there are no girls on the internet, and no matter how hard you try and prove him, he will never change. In fact, you could show up at his house, show him you're a girl, let him feel you up, and he'll still say you're a boy. Hustleu’s still trying to get a grade above a 40 and pass the 4th grade, even after 25 years of being held back. That's right, Hustleu is 24, but still manages to pick up all the 13 year old girls. {C}

Root123
Root, full of himself. That is all. Another wonderful troll in the Buffet of Goodness, he can be cool sometimes but most of the time he's a douche. Be careful if you even speak one word in the chat, this guy will own you with his troll physics. He takes trollness so far, that they made a new theory, forget Einstein's formula of finding the energy output of an object (E=MC2). Root's formula is simple, he wants to see the energy he has to output to drive out an innocent buffeter. Root has the amazing ability to stare into your soul and crush all of your hopes and dreams with the might of his superior intelligence. Sometimes he has meaningful conversations or you can always watch him troll, either way, you can always pass the time argueing with him or watching him eat a noob alive.

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