Greed


 * Persians: "The thousand nations of the Persian Empire descend upon you! Our arrows will blot out the sun!"
 * Greed: "Then we will troll you."



Amongst the Kongregate Chatrooms, Greed stands out as a mixed bag. Greed is not a place to be entered without caution. Going in and saying whatever comes to mind will likely to get you shot down by trolling Anti-Aircraft cannon like you were a Zeppelin made of fail. They follow not the rules of konduct established by Kongregate, but their own. The number of rules is unknown. As such, Greed has become known as the Modless Zone, a fact that the admins have tried (and failed) to remedy ever since.



Special Note: As of September 2010, Greed has been declared the "worst room on Kongregate."

Regular Mods


Amberlei
 * Amberlei was picked to be a mod at the same as ringkichard, but has since disappeared. She claimed she was going to Texas, so apparently and we all know computers don't exist there. She is even more of a moral-centered user than ringkichard, but at least she isn't a Dick about it and has an adequate, if just barely sufficient, sense of humor.
 * Amberlei: and his testicles were like right in my face. I can tell you they were hanging free as can be.

Cartrodus
 * A mod from Germany, who for some time was a common sight in Greed. He is relatively relaxed, and has an adequate sense of humor to get along with the Greed regulars. He also shits in raids made of lulz and awesome. He is not to be trusted with anything awesome.

InsomniacDreamer
 * Not cool enough for an elaborate description, by her own standards. She tends to space out and
 * jump into conversations randomly, but when she does she does well at keeping chat alive.. and apparently, she is now a moderator. Wait, what?
 * jump into conversations randomly, but when she does she does well at keeping chat alive.. and apparently, she is now a moderator. Wait, what?

Greedlings
If you think you should be in the regular list, speak to a regular and we will look into it.

1337Theory
 * A.K.A "The Shield" When Greed is facing the threat of an onslaught, he will always speak up and deliver a kick to the genitals of authority. Known as the God of Sex by almost everyone in Greed, he makes sure no one forgets. For what reason we don't know.
 * "Ohhh woe is me. I'am an angsty teenage vampire. All I want to do is love a human, but NEIN! I cannot, for I am a vampire and I'd ****ing raep her face, kill her, then drain her corpse of all bodily fluids. Woe is me! That's what they do now. It SHOULD be: *Pounce, scream, death by vampire*"

Aestin
 * A very quiet guy who should talk less. Sometimes he's quite funny. He's sometimes worth talking to. Be wary, he may crush your head with his thighs... OF STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!

Andr0o
 * Has mixtape's pics. (Like everyone else.)

aolchatroom
 * aol doesn't talk much, but when he does he always has something interesting to bring to the table. Not necessarily the best at fueling conversations, but can certainly start one.

DarkBaron


 * Believes himselt to be very intelligent and is getting a degree in math, and head from his girlfriend. Expect most of your statements to be wrong when DB is in tha HOUSE! Even if you're right, you're wrong. Has a shit-ton of alts, many all of which are banned. That's okay though, because he is supposedly retired from trolling (but has lied about that numerous times).
 * DarkBaron: It's my charm that wood my hot gf. And that makes me an awesome person.
 * Spaghedeity: wooed
 * DarkBaron: That's what I thought, but spell check accepted my typo of wood...
 * DarkBaron: Oh
 * DarkBaron: Wait
 * DarkBaron: *facepalm*
 * aolchatroom: dumbass


 * DarkBaron: I am nothign more than an emotionally repressed kid on the inside seeking love.

DeadLucky
 * A Greed late-night veteran, DeadLucky has one of the oldest accounts in Greed and is said (mostly by himself) to make better comments and flames while drunk than most people can make sober. He has stopped trolling, but occassionally threatens to come out of retirement. He also claims he isn't an alcoholic, as he doesn't go to meetings.

Fujiou
 * The Lord of Wysteria. Sounds better when you don't know what it means.

GreatSquiggy
 * He will tell you he's been on Greed since before Al Gore invented the internet, but that doesn't seem all that plausible. He's been known to flame even himself at the expense of a good laugh, and can be heard saying, "Really? When did that happen?" when something happens in Greed. It's probably the Alzheimer's.

Hexed1
 * Hexed is the man that you would expect to see wearing his underpants on his head in the park one day, screaming at the birds; sitting in a Borders sipping smuggled Kahlua and coffee while holding forth on Faust the next day; yet on a third day seducing your wife in a Ferarri Enzo that he probably stole from a valet parking lot. Has the newest model of customizable Jesus.

jkukla
 * Back from inactivity . Disappeared without a trace yet again. Has been known to start things and never finish them.
 * "Hurgablargh!"

JoeSixPack
 * Logic buster! Seriously, this guy sits and waits quietly. You won't know when he's around, then suddenly he'll drop a logic bomb on you like the Americans dropped on the Japanese back in Dubya Dubya Two! This hobo is way depressing. Watch out for his freeze-ray or run the risk of becoming emo. The only known cure for this is finding a pit, filling it with dead kittens, lighting it on fire, and dying in it. Note that holes filled with flaming kittens are more common than you'd expect in Greed.

Kilroy8675309
 * Secretary of Awesome. He sports a wide range of awesome and a razor sharp wit. He is one of the strongest weapons Greed has against "Bad Mods."
 * "If you weren't so black, I wouldn't be so racist."

mixtapepanda
 * Flashed her titties under peer pressure.

PaperMache
 * Fap-happy Pappy. He loves you, whether you want him to or not. Try to fight it all you want, but it will happen. He will find you, and he will love you. Carries on the name saiyan13k4c
 * "I like hairy babies"

ringkichard
 * ringkichard is a moralfag in disguise as an intellectual tough guy. Watch him closely, he is wise beyond his years and lurks with Rick_also. He used to be one of the best defenses against abusive mods, using logical argument and reason. He's still a pretty cool guy, however, and has been awarded the honor of Room Owner of Greed. He lost his modship after an epic battle of wits with SirShakes, but still remains its Room Owner.


 * ringkichard: Greed has standards. We may be bully bastards with hearts of malice and claws of ice, but at least we're not ****ing Nazis.


 * ringkichard: I miss Kilroy. If only he was here, to hold me in his big strong arms.

SirShakes
 * Complete douche. The original Sir, as well as the General. As such, lead s the Knights of Greed to konquest absolutely nothing and give everybody a headache. Has repeatedly swore to "fix Greed" then given up an hour later. But he is really going to do it this time!

Spaghedeity
 * Bulimic transvestite that lives with his mother, and Greed's designated doordeity. I want to have sex with him, but sex with edibles belongs in Gluttony.


 * Spaghedeity: *draws a dick on his dick*
 * Spaghedeity: If I had AIDS, I would have angry passionless sex with you just so you could get AIDS and die
 * Spaghedeity: If I had AIDS, I would have angry passionless sex with you just so you could get AIDS and die

TheBlackVeil
 * The Beast of Morchasimo, he has 16 penises and is known not to be very funny (probably because his name sucks). Also gets butthurt sometimes.


 * TheBlackVeil: Dude.


 * TheBlackVeil: Poop harder.
 * TheBlackVeil: Or some series of dudes. Like.. 147 of them.
 * TheBlackVeil: Or some series of dudes. Like.. 147 of them.

thegreenhobo


 * The Ultimate Lurker. Nobody even knew he existed for two years, then everyone promptly forgot about him again.

Wargazm


 * Simply put, he is a dick. And quite possibly a sociopath. So clearly he is one of the most important people in Greed, despite behaving a bit like a drunken absentee father figure that stumbles back in the front door every month or two to slap your mother around and promise to take you to Disneyworld.


 * Wargazm: My vagina has teeth...and my dick is a corn stalk


 * Wargazm: You ever found a brown marshmallow in your cereal?


 * SirShakes: ... No


 * Sirshakes: Did you wash your hands after you pooped?


 * Wargazm: ...well what else could it b- OH GOD!


 * Wargazm: I live in an apartment with this girl I am nolonger dating, and Its very expensive.
 * SirShakes: That sounds awkward
 * Wargazm: It would be for most, but I just shrug it off and do what I'd normally do if I was living with my mom or something.
 * Wargazm: ...Which is pretty much the same thing, except not having sex with her.
 * SirShakes: ...
 * SirShakes: Wait
 * SirShakes: What?
 * SirShakes: Which one are you not having sex with?
 * Wargazm: ... I thing I said that the wrong way.
 * Wargazm: The girl dude.
 * SirShakes: ...
 * SirShakes: So
 * SirShakes: You're boning your mom?
 * Wargazm: ...
 * SirShakes: ...

The Graveyard
"Mod is dead" - Friedrich Nietzsche

Greed has a reputation of being THE harsh, unforgiving chat environment where Mods go to die. The souls of the dammed and de-modded wander Kongregate for an eternity, but their lost "M"s remain buried in Greed as a mark of their failures.

The following chat moderators have been demoted due to actions in Greed:

Isfan

Onefoe

SirDucken

The following chat moderator became demoralized, had a mental breakdown and cried as a result of trying to tame Greed:

Rothycat

Rules!
Here are some general, common knowledge, rules of Greed.

1) Do not lay claim to title or rank. If you're a reg, people will know, and award you riches in a spontaneous display of emotion.

2) If you make a big deal of your gender, expect that an even bigger deal will be made of it. This is not likely to be pleasant.

3) Anyone with "Naruto," "666" or "Cool" (Including "Kewl") in their name is marked for humiliation. You don't want to be treated like a child? Don't act like a child.

4) Using "your" rather than "you're" as a contraction of "you are" (And vice versa) will subject you to massive unending scorn. Learn some grammar.

5) If you expect to be instantly accepted, go to Feed the Ducks.

6) We don't want you here.

7) Deal with it.

8) Pics or it didn't happen.

How To Avoid the Banhammer
Getting silenced is unpleasant and avoidable. Getting banned is doubly so. While ideally, Kongregate's overall principle of "Don't be a jerk" would be the final word on the matter, as you can see from the above sections, things in Greed don't always go that way. Too many people act up, act out, or otherwise act with the intent to troll. With that in mind, do consider the following:
 * Don't feed the trolls. While responding to the bullies and the angry children isn't going to get you silenced on its own, they'll do their best to drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. This usually makes people angry, which weakens their judgment, which causes them to do stupid things, which gets them punished. Cut the cycle off at the head: just mute them. argue with them until you can prove that you are more intelligent and witty.
 * Trust should be earned. The people whispering you suggestions on how to act out are not your friends, they're trying to get you banned teach you secrets about Kongregate. The people telling you how to cheat at games are not your friends, they're trying to get you banned only trying to help. The people who tell you about the cool uses of ctrl+w and alt+f4 are not always your friends, they're trying to trick you give you 1337H4X. Don't be so credulous uptight. Rules are for nerds, not pimpmaster 5000s like us who have REAL girlfriends named Jessica or Candy or something else slutty like that.
 * Don't post naughty links. It'll just get you banned without warning, unless you are DeadLucky, who has managed to argue his way out of it a number of times now. It's true, Rick's weak and effeminate.
 * Listen to the warnings you get. Mods give *lots* of warnings. Too many warnings. Greed Mods are trying to be lenient, trying to be nice reprogram us to be the second Feed the Ducks, and for almost every sort of evil behavior you might exhibit, there's likely to be a warning. If you heed the warning, you'll avoid the hammer. being respected by the majority of Greed's regular users trolls. Wait, whose side are you on?