Feed the Ducks

Feed the Ducks, owned by Ducklette, one of the best admins on the site, is very well known for being the best room on Kongregate (yes, contrary to The Lair, who "claims" said title) I call shenanigans, FtD. Who says that besides you gaiz?. No one knows exactly what is found in Feed the Ducks, although there is a pond, a lot of food and a lot of ducks. Yes, ducks. But these ducks bite and snap, so please remember to bring food to feed the ducks. In Ducklette's absence, moderators overrun the place and party!

Caution!
Before you continue reading, please take a look at our sign below.

http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/6540/welovemudkipz.png

Yes, we love to warn people first. Now, continue!

How you should behave
Read this so you know how to behave in Kongregate Chatrooms.

About the room owner, Ducklette
Ducklette is a well known and well respected staff member of Kongregate. She handles customer support and community support. She is fun loving and enjoys her job. Along with AlisonClaire and Phoenix, they work their hardest to ensure that trolls (like those reading this page) do not wreak havoc on Kongregate, and ensure that requests like bad usernames and other miscellaneous requests are processed.

Despite her heavy work schedule, she still finds time to Feed the Ducks. (Unlike all you selfish stingy people out there who won't share your food! We get hungry too!)

Feed the Ducks, en blog!
Feed the Ducks has its own blog! Can you believe that?!

Games
Feed the Ducks' regulars are playing many games. Here are some examples.

Ikariam


Ikariam

A lot of members in Feed the Ducks play Ikariam. We used to have an alliance, led by MyDreamName. It is now inactive, although. A Kongregate Alliance (Not led by FtD) still exists on Iota, and some members of Feed the Ducks still enjoy to play Ikariam.

~MyDreamName

On a side note, the idea of Ikariam being a Kong thing has been around for a large while. The whole idea started over an year ago in early 2008 before Feed the Ducks was made.

Signatures

 * MyDreamName approves this message.
 * midget079 approves this message.
 * Blood_BathxX approves this message.
 * TheDarkFlame approves this message.
 * EndlessSporadic approves this message.
 * joshhh approves this message.
 * Kuhfelsen approves this message.
 * John McCain says this message is a myth.
 * PopUpPirate approves this message.
 * Naomi2976 decides this messages is not lies
 * Oathness doesn't like Ikariam.
 * Crush748 Believes there are no lavazards.
 * sellyme approves this message.
 * MaistlinRajere should not here.
 * Samanoske may or may not approve this message.
 * SlasherX Hates MyDreamName but loves Ikariam
 * Kaluzaklein approves this message


 * Hetiekae believes you should skip the next line.
 * HappyAlcoholic just made you lose The Game.
 * GHXpert59 is angry at HappyAlcoholic for making him lose The Game.
 * Oh, and GHXpert59 approves this message.
 * Diablokoaiua Loves HappyAlcoholic. :D
 * Sasms thinks editing wikis makes him cool.
 * ConverseKid just randomly clicked on the Edit button
 * <_< >_>
 * ClaireSable is just trying to fit it.
 * someone93 fed this message to his fellow ducks.
 * PHatHome666 approves something he hasn't read because he was promised pie.
 * Looper something something this message
 * Sinapi something something'd Looper
 * Sinapi just got Crikey'd a new one

Kingdom of Loathing
An adventurer is you! Many Kongregaters (And ducks) also play Kingdom of Loathing, or KoL for short. Come join us! Register here! We would suggest you to choose your starter class as Pastamancer, as he/she also has some healing skills, and is okay/good in battle. Don't worry, if you complete the game and "ascend", you are allowed to change your class, and try different ways to complete the game. Pastamancers can also summon "noodles", which sell for a good price in the game. Oh, and the KoL currency is meat. Yes, cash is useless, they use meat for everything.

Need help?
Stuck? Don't know how to play the game? Need help in a quest? Just ask any of the adventurers listed below, they might be able to help you. You can also check out the KoL Wiki for some help. It has all the information you need, such as Item Statics, Quest Guides, and so on. It also has many Greasemonkey Scripts, which can help you alot in the game, adding spoilers for an example.

Adventurers

 * Juze (Quit) (#1856181)
 * PopUpPirate(#1857384)
 * Hyp3ri0n (In-game as "Hyp3rion") (#1909375)
 * Looper (#1904702)

Notice that Hyp3rion should not be messed up with Hyp3ri0n (#1720976) in the game. Though Hyp3ri0n played KoL before, and started now over, this can be his alt on KoL. Confirmed by Juze: Hyp3ri0n doesn't want to make his mind go back one year in time, when the Hyp3ri0n existed on KoL. So he just started over right now.

Billy Versus SNAKEMAN
Billy Versus SNAKEMAN (Or BvS for short) is an anime parody game about Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, Code Geass, and more, revolving around ninjas, where you do missions for money and items, help out your village and play games for prizes, like the Prize Wheel, sorta like the Wheel of Fortune, where you can win rare items exclusive to certain days. To do mostly anything, you have a daily Stamina amount, which can be raised with certain items, and you regain it at 'Dayroll' The only Kongregate/FtD village that I/anyone else currently knows of, is Invisible RageQuit village, led by Oathness. If you join this addictive clickfest, come join Invisible RageQuit village, and join some of the other FtD regulars who have gotten addicted to it.

WhatPulse
Whatpulse is a 'game' where you install a program (virus free, as checked with S&D and AVG 8.0 + F-Secure) which counts how many time you press a button on your keyboard, a button on your mouse or even how far you move your mouse. Kongregate has a team Kongregate with the password 'greg' (without the apostrophes)

"Players"
A full list of players can be seen on the team page, with statistics:

Click it!

We currently have 300 (and counting) "players". (Nabb isn't winning anymore! \o/)

Thread
Kongregate Team @ WhatPulse is the official team thread. It is being run by sellyme and any bugs/questions should be directed to him, although most forum regulars will be happy to help you.

Unofficial website
Kongpulse is the teams unofficial website, run by sellyme. It is also contributed to by Momma-K70 (WP screenname: Momma-Kong), JaumeBG and notverygood.

It has team stats, user stats, featured users, country stats, PvP battles, and even cookies given out for doing well. The cookies are exchangable for prizes. It is updated every weekday, and sometimes bonus updates come out on the weekend.

Come Join Us
Now you know a little about Feed the Ducks you should come join us. By clicking the following link: Link you will jump straight to us, on an idle program made by our very own Yeknomssa.

awalters
One of, if not the, Kongregate's best moderator. No introduction required. 'Nuff said.

DragonFlame997
The most epic mod in the world, one that everyone loves. It is Feed the Ducks honor to have him as a mod. Always afk.

joshhh
joshhh resented not being included so added himself in. joshhh is a moderator who is very...erm..lazy. He will help when needed though, or if he's feeling nice. He also came here from some distant planet far far away in the lands of N00bs, also known as Digg Mark 1. Yep, gotta wonder why he came from there.... Because we're better than you.

Nabb
This moderator is amazing. He has enough power and influence to burn your eyelashes off. Srsly, don't mess with him. That's why he deserves his own spot as a moderator. He's too epic.

This person has no known records on the Internet. First rule of Nabbland, you do not talk about Nabbland. Second rule about Nabb, you do not talk to Nabb. Thirdly, he has enough coding experience to crash your browser. Yes, even those lousy, third party browsers.

Stay far away. Far far away. Police are still researching new ways to approach him without being vaporized.

Doesn't actually mod. Pretends to be afk whenever someone modcalls in FtD.

JudeMaverick and Nabb are actually the same person. Or that's the rumour.

Spitty
"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

Im always here, there, or everywhere... I might be even behind you... Wait, don't check! I'm shy(when i choose to be so). And I hold a gun. A powerful gun. Fear the gun. Yes my guns are blazing hot. Hot and smoking! Whoo hot!

PopUpPirate
He is an awesome mod, fun loving. Awesome. &lt;insert more wonderful stuff&gt;

thebarge
Who do you call when you need someone to mow the grass? That's right! You call thebarge! He is one of the senior members of the chatroom and gladly assists in stopping idiots.

Word of warning. Get off his lawn. He's still hugging Laxaria's friend, Knifey, the sharp knife. It might still be in his arm, so yea. &gt;.&gt;

Has a super special awesome bot called "Bargebot" which has over 20 commands, and tweets random quotes from chat (under the username Bargebot).

unproductive
For someone called unproductive, he is very productive in badges and moderating. Very productive. Oh the irony, and the idiocy of this statement.

ClaireSable
^That's not her name...Officially, a monster truck; Claire the Zombie Slayer, Creepy Claire, and even the occasional Mistress Claire can fall into place. Is happily the Mistress to a mister PHatHome666 whom she loves dearly.

PHatHome666
Also referred to as Patti. Is usually dragged around by this person. ^

DaelithRhedynfre
His name is hard to spell. Oh, and he automatically teleports to Feed the Ducks sometimes.

EndlessSporadic
"I am that gender confused child that you never wanted."

This moderator is epically AFK all the time yet somehow knows everything that has happened. Don't eat his cookies. They are usually spiked.

Flare_X
1 word. HAWT!

But sadly went to moderate RP1

Hadren
Don't tell anyone I'm in here.

JudeMaverick
"Whoops! Did you mean "Feed the Trolls?"

He's cool enough to not be organized in alphabetical form. But that's why Juze banned her.

JudeMaverick and Nabb are actually the same person. Or that's the rumour.

Laxaria
"*Throws pie at you* In your face! LITERALLY!"

Laxaria is a well respected moderator in Feed the Ducks, watching over the chatroom to ensure trolls do not stab, cook, roast, stuff, steam, fry, stir-fry...you get the idea, ducks. Working together with the other well known moderators of Feed the Ducks, he ensures that there are no idiots in chat turning it into a troll fest. And he likes pie. Key Lime Pie. Yummmmm!

Left, but comes back sometimes. When hes bored.

Marh
He rides a large swan and screams like a banshee.

Regulars
We normally call our members "ducks", but that creates problems when people "accidentally" mispell ducks as, well, you know, so lets just call them users shall we?

13elite37
"lol you all suck"

13elite37 thinks they are the coolest person in FtD, but in reality they aren't. overly cocky at times, 13elite37 is moderately cool at best. likes to pick fights with noobs, and is occasionally caught saying "I like my noobs explosion cooked &gt;:D". is famous for their usage of :D

AwesomeX2
"BEWARE! I LIVE!"

AwesomeX2 is a no nonsense person, who aside from being a stunning gentleman, is also a glowing beacon in an unclear world.

Banned ='(

billyfred
Pretty cool guy.

Blakcat09
A cat, called Blak. SHE likes to dance. Yes she is female.

Blood BathxX
Blood_BathxX: Blalh, you konw I scuk at typing.

Blood is the King of typographical errors. No matter how simple a word is, he can typo the hell out of it until it is completely unrecognizable. He attempts to correct said typos, and usually makes it worse. At this point, he explodes. Also, he makes people around him typo.

Catinthewall
"I pronounce migraines AAAARG- MY- HEAD!" "How many Kongregators does it take to change a light bulb? all of them, if you make a badge for it." "Some of my greatest work comes out right before I fall asleep."

Catinthewall is a friendly, duck loving individual who doesn't harm ducks. He is an exceptionally witty person (he, right?) who loves to make jokes and entertain the loud duck laughter in the room. Absolutely hilarious. Absolutely.... just.... lol.....

DeadSoulReaper
"PopUpPirate is my lovely wife."

She is my lovely wife indeed. I do not troll despite what you all hear but I have a very odd sense of what you should and should not do in the chatroom.

People who get this guy annoyed are very susceptible to attacks which leave no evidence behind. Ask boopy for details.

Boop says "he crashed my computer :("

Derivative (SteveySA on the Wiki)
A newbie at the Wiki, but a pro on Kong. He's been playing games here since the beginning, and has had various accounts since 2008. He barely has a life. (Hangs out with friends.) He views the world as mathematical and scientific computations (NERD!). He spends 40% of his time in Feed the Ducks, 10% in Digg Mark 1, 10% in The Underground, and the rest in the... forums! He's nacho average regular. (Oh, and he's a cyborg. Don't forget that.)

Dorham
He needs to be more active in order to be in this list.

Forseti
I realized he wasn't here so I decided to add him.

Is known by many as, "Forsetits" :D

Superhalofan143 and ConverseKid
the only romantic pair in FTD who doesn't have tails or claws. super has his moments.

superhalofan143: yeah, but takedown, you're kind of a prick.

ConverseKid: I lol'd at us being a romantic couple. I also lol'd at the word "moments". They aren't MOMENTS, they're his LIFE.

GHXpert59
"Yeah, I'm that awesome."

Only time you don't see me in FtD is when visiting friends in other rooms or when on alts and get removed from the room and put in a random one, and FtD is full.

I'm considered the artist of Feed the Ducks. You can see some of my art at the FtD Blog!

My Xbox Live gamertag is GHXpert59. If you have an Xbox, and live, send me a friend request!

I'm usually found playing Halo 3 or Rock Band.

Some nicknames I have are 59, GHX, and Xpert.

This line contains no information about me.

That's about all I have for my Kong Wiki entry! Bai!

HappyAlcoholic
Happy is a very happy alcoholic (obviously..) Who likes mucking around with his hot sister, xRawr. He is a very nice and polite guy, who seems to love clowns. And he NEVER takes off his sunglasses. Happy owns millions of alts, literally - Millions! (658) Overall - he is a very nice and 'friendly' guy, aka. Perv.

Where did you get 658 from? I think it's a bit more than that.

Because yes.

HarebrainSchemer
"All my nipple rubbing dreams were ruined when I realized boop was a guy :'("

He schemes a lot. And draws. A lot. You know, I kinda wonder what he does more sometimes.

Hetiekae
"I has cookies!"

If he isn't playing SS (Sacred Seasons) then he's in FtD. Nice guy for the most part, annoying Grammar Nazi at times. No one can seem to take the time to write out his name, or they massacre it with typos. *coughBloodcough*

Hyp3ri0n
One of the hardcore players. Has an amazing GamerScore of 24,500+ on Xbox Live. He even beats you on Guitar Hero. Oh, and he has beaten Through the Fire and the Flames on Expert without any failures. There's no way you can beat this guy in games. Only MrRubix can. And Tasselfoot. Possibly.

Iceurai
The madcap stereotypical drunk of FtD, Ice can normally be found drunk and muting us all so he can play on his silly little guitar games. When he's not failing on Easy mode he likes to flirt. And he's English.

who the crap is this guy? ~sky


 * deletes* -Hetiekae

Juze
"*Does a chocolate rain*"

Juze, also sometimes called as Juice or Jews, is an active Ducker and Kongregater. He feeds the ducks with chocolate. He hasn't eaten any sweets since year 2000, though.

Kitten08
Kitten is one of the many furries in our room. She's very kind and welcoming, and loves to pounce her friends, especially New2U2. Those two are very close, and like to role-play. Kitten encourages tolerance of everyone. Don't judge someone until you get to know them. Tolerance, kindness and patience are good qualities to have. New and Kitten try to keep RP within reason. No lasers, autokills, stuff like that. Check out her or New's profiles to find out how they RP. If their RP bothers you, ask nicely, and she'll probably be accomdating. Be rude about it, and she'll most likely ignore you.

KaluzaKlein
Kaluza Because Yes. Also affectionately called 'AsianKevin' by Sinapi and PugusDoggers.

He likes Gir.

PugusDoggers, ya sexy nut! :P

Looper
"Looper: ^

Looper: ****"

Ex-MalF reg who came to Feed the Ducks for shelter. Has one hell of a jewfro. Usually friendly, but has his bad days. "Doesn't everybody? ~ Looper"

LOOPER WAS HERE!

MyDreamName
MyDreamName is an old regular from Feed the Ducks, inactive for a while, lurking once in an while, and back to participating in chat.

midget079
Midget, as you've probably guessed, thinks he is rather short. We don't care, because he's fun to talk to and very friendly.

MonochromeMolly
ClaireSable: I wear the pants.

MonochromeMolly: I'm not wearing pants.

Yet another user who came to FtD through the DF collapse. Very friendly and always willing to help.

Naomi2976
Is a tigress. Likes to lurk. Likes to chat. Likes to RP. Dislikes unfriendly people. Dislikes trolls. Will knee people in the gonads. Will kill those who touch her cub without permission.

Beware. She see's everything you do.

New2U2
He's a black panther that sometimes has wings. He likes his role-play, and if you don't agree then just mute. See Kitten08.

Noxxeh
wanted in (but should be kicked out)

Oathness
"BLEEEEEH"

Stuff.

I think I'm awesome. Don't you agree? &lt;-- What. i did not put this here.

The half-troll of the room, but still a loved guy.

D'awwww, people think i'm loved :3

My mum thinks I'm cool!

My mother is dead, faggot.

Oathness is the most epic member of Feed the Ducks. Please treat him as you would any other super, special, awesome person.

Also the most trolled person in this wiki and this space. That's why he gets banned, and not the ones that troll him. o_o

waaaaait, i've been banned? shyiiiit.

Old_Brown_Shoe
Also known as OBS, AWWBBS, Shoe, and by his close friends and arch enemies "Hoe". Has sporadic visits, but always comes with a bag of bread for the ducks when he does pop in for a visit. His hobbies include photography, gaming, chatting and mastur...ing the guitar.

"My only console was a Playboy Color."

PaisleyStream
''PaisleyStream: "I remember when I had braces. They sucked literal ass." ''

''New2U2: "Literal?" ''

''PaisleyStream: "Oh wait, what?" ''

PinkFuzzyBunny: (posts a link) 

skyboy: Cute 

thebarge: lol 

PaisleyStream: What's wrong with it?

Paisley is a regular at Feed The Ducks. She loves excessive minimodding, a great topic to chat about, her friends, her pets, her ipod, and ice cream cake. Paisley is having a back operation done on November 4th (it's true, even though she lied about the pictures (lol) because she couldn't scan the actual xray). She's also on a badge frenzy, trying to level up to 50, but has problems because of her instant boredom. Paisley spits out anything that is on her mind, whether it sounds right or not. She's to the point and thorough. She doesn't always mean what she says or know what she says; just as long as it sounds cool.

Better than Slasher because she isnt obsessively trying to become a mod.

Whoever wrote The statement above, thank you for caring :) -Pais

Whoever wrote the statement above pais' I DON'T WANT TO BE A MOD!

PantherShah
I can't for the life of me remember why I even thought of putting him here. But it might have to do with the fact that he's awesome =D Likes to float from Feed the Ducks and Ninja Chat.

PinkFuzzyBunny
The Religious One.

PlatinumIce
~The AFKing, at least 11 hours a day ;D~

Often mistaken for the mathematical Pi when someone abbreviates "platinumice" to "PI".

PugusDoggers
"BassChick: Star, you're after a lost cause. Pugus is going to be saying "your mom" after just about everything untill the day he dies. I wouldn't be surprised if his last words were "YOUR MOM"

He scares me. Sometimes. Oh, YOUR MOM!

(Personally, I have never heard him say your mum. but eh.)

Ex-Gibson reg who moved into Feed the Ducks sometime December 2008. He's addicted to Sacred Seasons MMORPG despite getting all the badges for some stupid reason.

He is also very weird. HE WAS HARRASSING ME IN PMs AAAAAH.

Seems interested in chastity belts. "PugusDoggers: Wow that looks kind of kinky (reply)" If Pugus never (sexually) harasses you in PM or in main chat, there must be something horribly wrong with you. Very very wrong with you.

Samanoske
Sam the corgi is well known for his fully armed nuclear arsenal ready to incinerate any unsuspecting trolls/spammers/fools/regulars/mods/Ducklettes that cross his path. At certain given times, he will suddenly turn into an intellectual capable of master debating on all topics known to exist. Previously an active member of The Van, he currently enjoys lounging around the pond nomming the grass at will.

Sasms
"Sasms: I'm out of fuic! Quick sel, buy me another one!"

"sellyme: What address should I send it to?"

"Sasms: email"

The resident FtD artist. Originally spent most of his time in the forums replying to art requests but was dragged into FtD by sellyme. Completely sucks at games and admits it. Apparently, He has a little.. Well.. a quite Big crush on xRawr. Has not been confirmed. (Confirmed by Sellyme)

Sellyme
"Sellyme: No, Australia doesn't have roads. And our Government gives out complimentary Kangaroos to every man, woman and child in the country."

For some reason his profile thingo disappeared. He blames Jabor. Is very sarcastic, doesn't like trolls or idiots, and everyone he has ever silenced has been perma-banned (31/31). He runs quite a few things for Kongregate's Whatpulse team, and is well respected in those circles. (Wait what? People respect me???)

Senretsu
I'm in FtD literally every second I spend on Kong (Which is up to 20 hours a day on average). I don't speak much in main chat, as I tend to get carried away when I do and post walls of text. I try to be nice and helpful to everyone, though, so don't be afraid to ask me for help with whatever. I also <3 pink fluffy things.

SheepTwo
Baaaaah.

Lover of all things music and always taking up valuable space that could be used by other loving FTD frequenters.

skyboy
Probably the most epic user in FtD. I hate him though, he won't add me. Oh and he can hack chat. So yeah, don't mess with him. Word is that he is just a bunch of code, trapped inside a computer, which explains why none of us have seen pictures of him.

SlasherX
Is a mindless gamer with absolutely NO life. He got ALL the GC0 badges in about 35 hours. As I said. No life. Moved to FtD when DF started falling to pieces. Loves fried shrimp and hates being called by his real names. Was in a competition with Sellyme to get all badges but resigned. Is known to love mods in every aspect. Dreams of kong every night and wants to be adopted by kong. Has had a lot of mishaps with other users due to lack of sleep(Harrassing xRawr blah blah blah lots of other stuff like that), But he just wants everyone to DANCE

Bleh. :/ ~ xRawr

He has recently (03/01/10) started to have fantasies about skyboy, Sprout and Naomi2976 in a threesome, to which he masturbates.

Sockgzin
A guy who's username sucks, as it was generated from random username thing from a website he was on when he was 5yrs old. Cousin of SlasherX

TheDarkFlame
Uselessness personified. Often goes AWOL, at which time he can be found in either The Van or Ninja Chat.

Pointlessly sarcastic. Pointlessly.

TheTall0ne
He's tall. Very very tall. I think.

Tinnvec
Made Feed the Ducks Idle, he is incredible for this. Though he was incredible anyway.

Tioga
"You cant sex the ducks, only feed them." "Im Tioga, and I approve this message."

Tioga. I don't know why he's here, or why I bothered, but he's here. =/

The_Fake_Twi
Previously known as twilightgenius, which if you didnt know, made this profile make no sense.

"Hell no I am not a twilight fan for the 1000th time"

Not a twilight fan and probably not a genius.

unknown92
Added against his wishes. Im a mean mean person. "No u!"

xRawr
Sellyme - I'M ALIVE!!

xRawr - Dammit...

xRawr - I mean, Hai!

One of the hottest and most awesome regulars in FtD. Rawr randomly bursts out laughing at practically nothing, and finds even the most unfunny things hilarious. She's always a very joyful and happy little monster to be around, and she will make you smile nonstop. Loves bright and colourful things, and is completely random.

ZachAttack
Evil person, silenced frequently but cool in his own little way

Chat logs
Some crazy things may happen sometime on Feed the Ducks, and we will collect them over here.

Gemcraft Chapter 0
Thorstein: alright mods, gemcraft chapter 0 wont load, FIX THIS

Juze: Why mods?

Juze: It's your problem.

Juze: Only you can fix it.

HappyAlcoholic: lolgrammarfail

PHatHome666: Go eat a RAM sammich. You know you want a byte.

dialMforMONKEY: But it could also be a problem with the game itself.

Thorstein: Juze, if you knew anything you would know that a mod is something that runs the games on this site, retard.

HappyAlcoholic: *lols*

dialMforMONKEY: Lol, phat.

Juze: Lol fail.

Juze: Mods don't run games on Kongregate.

Thorstein: yes they do Jews. (Editor notice: :O One of the guys who call me Jews again! --Juze 11:54, September 28, 2009 (UTC))

Juze: ^ Fail.

PHatHome666: Thors, stop that.

Juze: Admins run.

Thorstein: Yeah we all know what i said.

Juze: Jim and Emily.

Thorstein: Admins run the site moron.. you know what forget it i don't want to even talk to people with your intelligence capacity, muted.

PHatHome666: Thors, mods deal with chat.

dialMforMONKEY: Thors.

Thorstein: Can anyone here ACTUALLY help me or are you guys just going to try to troll?

dialMforMONKEY: YOu're an idiot.

PHatHome666: And you can stop the trolling

HappyAlcoholic: "Intelligence capacity"

dialMforMONKEY: We can't do shit aobut your problem.

dialMforMONKEY: *about

dialMforMONKEY: I can't type today.

HappyAlcoholic: Are you sure you didn't mean "intellectual capacity"?

dialMforMONKEY: Too big a word, happ.

theprophetON: lolpwnt

Juze: ^ Lol what a fail dude (Thor)

Juze: Doesn't know what a mod is and an admin

PHatHome666: Major *headdesk* (reply)

To PHatHome666: Same here.

Thorstein: Actually i meant what i said... Intelligence capacity, intellectual capacity is different.

Maek me a mod
Well this one was definetly a joke, but it's funny.

HappyAlcoholic: tehghostgamer u mod

HappyAlcoholic: how to become a mod

TheGhostGamer: sleep with greg

HappyAlcoholic: mak me a mod theghostgamr

PHatHome666: Or payfor his WoW

HappyAlcoholic: im nice i can b a mod

TheGhostGamer: u gota sleep with greg k

TheGhostGamer: i cnt maek u mo

TheGhostGamer: d

dialMforMONKEY: You're typing just went to shit.

dialMforMONKEY: What the hell?

HappyAlcoholic: MAk ME A MOD

TheGhostGamer: It's a joke.

Juze: Yeah, it's a joke.

PHatHome666: *mods HA*

TheGhostGamer: Lol.

HappyAlcoholic: Wait, what?

vamuke: it's "MAKE ME A MOD NAO I PASSED THE TEST"

dialMforMONKEY: I did pass the test.

dialMforMONKEY: 20/20.

PHatHome666: The 20 question mod test?

PHatHome666: As did I, M

TheGhostGamer: I got a 6.

dialMforMONKEY: But I"m no mod yet.

HappyAlcoholic: There is no "mod test". Lol.

PugusDoggers: lawl

TheGhostGamer: I think I did pretty good.

... And so on. The End.

Forseti teaches English to a Russian
muthafaker2: Это shit TheDarkFlame: Is there a Russian room? awalters: yes Forseti: На английском, да = yes. нет = no. OK? TheDarkFlame: Was that for our benefit as well Fors? muthafaker2: Это хрень shit. Forseti: i guess Tioga: Go eat Tioga: lul Forseti: muthafaker2 muthafaker2: Это не русский комнату, мы говорим только на английском здесь. Извините Tioga: *is fluent in russian* todbot1: Are you trying to teach him english? o_o Oathness: lol. muthafaker2: Forseti:Это не русский комнату, мы говорим только на английском здесь. Извините Forseti: успокоиться awalters: if so that is epic and spammy at the same time, but sooo epic that I really don't care since we kind of have a dead chat o-o Forseti: no TheDarkFlame: That's the message I sent him earlier... *sigh* Forseti: only that was teaching english lol awalters: ah muthafaker2: yes no Tioga: OH MY GOD Tioga: IT WORKED Forseti: muthafaker2 Forseti: вы хотите найти русский чате? Forseti: lol he said yes no muthafaker2: no. Forseti: OK Tioga: oh em gee Forseti: HEY I TAUGHT HIM ENGLISH Forseti: i win!! Tioga: YOU MUST BE JESUS muthafaker2: в чате в английском комнате является смешной Oathness: TWO english words* awalters: chat room in english is a funny? Forseti: He says english chatrooms are funny. Forseti: lol awalters: russian ones are to us ;) Forseti: i'll translate that awal awalters: D: awalters: ok muthafaker2: yes no yes no! Tioga: Этот чат - для английского разговора Forseti: Русский из них к нам Forseti: lol ham muthafaker2: ha Forseti: i want to teach him english now muthafaker2: m muthafaker2: ham? Forseti: ham muthafaker2: ham? todbot1: *laughing* Tioga: ham Forseti: еда Forseti: ham еда. awalters: ham = http://www.denningers.com/uploads/images/Golden%20Glazed%20Ham.jpg ninjawarrior95: wat dos da blood on my icon mean??? Forseti: ham Английский продовольствие muthafaker2: что означает ветчина? Tioga: mutha, Вы говорите на английском языке? ответ с да или нет. muthafaker2: eat ham? Forseti: he doesn't Forseti: Yes Tioga: EAT HAM Forseti: Yes muthafaker2 awalters: he knows a few sub words based on things we have said Forseti: i taught him yes and no Forseti: so booya i win awalters: but fluency is unlikely Forseti: of course muthafaker2: tioga no Forseti: he says "Yes no yes no" Tioga: WHAT NOW Tioga: WHAt Tioga: NOW Forseti: hey i taught him no Forseti: suck my dick boy awalters: :O Tioga: Yes Tioga: But TheDarkFlame: Awal, it would be brilliant if he just came out with "How dare you say such a thing, good sir?" or something. awalters: XD awalters: indeed Tioga: HE HAS COMPREHENSION Forseti: TDF Forseti: I want to teach him that now Forseti: I SHALL muthafaker2: yes no yes no ! todbot1: K, I'll be back in an hour when my gold is supposedly going to be given. TheDarkFlame: You could just send him to a Russian room. Forseti: muthafaker2 Forseti: TDF muthafaker2: yes? Forseti: he said he likes it here just so you know muthafaker2: no? Forseti: muthafaker2 TheDarkFlame: Although this could be a very... interesting... conversation. Forseti: Как ты смеешь так говорить, батюшка Tioga: mutha, в чате говорят "hello". на английском языке. Это - то же самое как Привет на вашем языке Forseti: = TheDarkFlame: Do I mean interesting? awalters: yup he knows so technically it is sileneable...but meh Forseti: How dare you say such a thing, good sir? Forseti: Как ты смеешь так говорить, батюшка? = How dare you say such a thing, good sir? Tioga: father* Tioga: Not good sir muthafaker2: how Forseti: сказать это muthafaker2: How dare you say such a thing good sir Forseti: LOL Oathness: awesome muthafaker2: yes or no ? Forseti: yes Tioga: mutha, Hello средства привет muthafaker2: yes! muthafaker2: How dare you say such a thing good sir Tioga: TDF got ownt Oathness: i am loling. Forseti: ^ TheDarkFlame: This is the most brilliant moment. lovermans: im back Forseti: If I had a journal of my life moments Forseti: this would be in it. muthafaker2: hello Tioga: This would be first Tioga: Woo Tioga: He sai dhello todbot1: Somebody's got to screenshot the chat or something, seriously. Forseti: Yes. Tioga: sad* Tioga: Chat log go ninjawarrior95: hey! wat does the blood splashed on my gamer icon mean? Forseti: Copy pasta this whole chat Forseti: from when he came here Tioga: Later HappyAlcoholic: it means you're infected &gt;:D lovermans: fah he got infected lovermans: dah ninjawarrior95: lol seriusly? Tioga: mutha, от какого страна является Вами? todbot1: lol, he goes farther back than the chat does Forseti: muthafaker2 muthafaker2: какие заражен и ам инфицированных? Forseti: ха-ха-ха = lol ninjawarrior95: wat does it mean? muthafaker2: xaxaxa? Forseti: darn HappyAlcoholic: It means you're a zombie. muthafaker2: l-o-l lovermans: who plays runescape here Tioga: Это - игра на вебсайте. Не волнуйтесь об этом. awalters: he knows what a zombie is? muthafaker2: lol Oathness: noone. todbot1: What do I do with this? Just save it somewhere? Oathness: runescape sucks. Forseti: Это значит, смеяться Tioga: tod, keep logging it Tioga: save it for later muthafaker2: что означает lol?? ninjawarrior95: OMG WAT DOES IT MEAN!!!??? Tioga: When we prove Fors is god lovermans: u say runescape sucks coz ur a noob in it Forseti: lol Forseti: blood thinks i'm jesus Forseti: @_@ Forseti: muthafaker2 Tioga: People think we are the same person Forseti: yes Tioga: Which we are. Oathness: no, dude Oathness: i have a level 91. Oathness: it sucks. Forseti: yes muthafaker2 lovermans: lol Forseti: xa-xa-xa = lol muthafaker2: gtg TheDarkFlame: Runescape is too repetitive to be a decent game. lovermans: then if u dont like it then can i have it Forseti: oh god damn it Tioga: Откуда Вы? awalters: ah got to go...interesting Oathness: no Oathness: no you cannot have it Oathness: i am planning on selling it Tioga: Откуда Вы? = Where are you from? Forseti: свидания Forseti: oops Forseti: до свидания todbot1: I'm really going to go now... Somebody else save this maybe? lol. awalters: one is bye one is goodbye...intersting awalters: I am Forseti: I will save it all Forseti: beginning to end Forseti: shit was so cash Tioga: mutha, Откуда Вы? Tioga: WAS? Tioga: Still IS. Forseti: he left Forseti: :/ todbot1: aww Tioga: .. Oathness: aww

The Typo Fail King
Clocks

Blood_BathxX: he can't read a cock probs

Blood_BathxX: clock*

Blood_BathxX: i meant dock dammit

Blood_BathxX: **** it

Mornings

Blood_BathxX: I wank up at 7:00 evrey mroning.

Blood_BathxX: morning*

Blood_BathxX: waek*

Blood_BathxX: wake*

Subtraction

Blood_BathxX: 36 is 69-36

Oathness: blood

Oathness: thats 33.

Oathness: you're an idiot.

Blood_BathxX: ....****

WTF?

Blood_BathxX: hey i cnak ind of readt hat'

Note: We have no idea what that meant. My money is on "Why can't I read a hat?"

crush748: its obviously "hey i can kind of read that"

Keyboard fails

Blood_BathxX: GTFO MY BRIDGE todbot1: rats live on no evil star. KaluzaKlein: ._. mordermor: don't **** with the monkeys Aiglet1: *dodges* todbot1: It's true. Aiglet1: It's my bridge now bitch. Blood_BathxX: *smashes kar with his club7 iamtadakatsu: why should i no mwss wiuth moinkeys xRawr: D: Blood_BathxX: NO IT ISNT Blood_BathxX: **** RYOU Blood_BathxX: UOI Blood_BathxX: YOU Aiglet1: CLub 7! todbot1: lmao Blood_BathxX: **** YOU. Blood_BathxX: ITS LIKE 2. mordermor: rats live in the fair trade shop next to my work KaluzaKlein: ... Aiglet1: Having trouble blood? Blood_BathxX: AND I CAN'T SEE THE KEYBARD todbot1: You hate ryu? Blood_BathxX: KEYBOARDF xRawr: :l Blood_BathxX: BOARD Aiglet1: Hehe. Aiglet1: KEYBARDS. Blood_BathxX: SHUT UP :( todbot1: Oh my god lol wtf Blood_BathxX: *throws tod at aig* Aiglet1: *sits on some car keys and sings* Aiglet1: Im a keybard! Blood_BathxX: gtfo todbot1: Too...goddamn...funny xRawr: lol. todbot1: seriously KaluzaKlein: what is this I don't even Blood_BathxX: THAT IS NOT FUNNY Blood_BathxX: THIS IS NOT FUNNY todbot1: It's hilarious KaluzaKlein: ^ Aiglet1: Alas, the blood he did fail us, with the troll club he did so wrong. xRawr: It is. Blood_BathxX: STOP LAUGHING AT ME KaluzaKlein: Go to sleep then? Blood_BathxX: alnmost fone Aiglet1: Do it. Blood_BathxX: almost Blood_BathxX: done mordermor: vampires sucks :D xRawr: dun sleeep Blood_BathxX: with soda Aiglet1: ALNOST! KaluzaKlein: lolfone Blood_BathxX: SHUT UP;. KaluzaKlein: k todbot1: You're a phone? Blood_BathxX: NO Aiglet1: We made him cry a little. KaluzaKlein: Ima go to sleep now KaluzaKlein: night all todbot1: Almost a phone? Blood_BathxX: YOU'RE RETARDED todbot1: Night Kaluza Blood_BathxX: nifgt Blood_BathxX: gnight KaluzaKlein: lawl BB todbot1: NIFGT Blood_BathxX: **** ity Blood_BathxX: it Aiglet1: Ni fgt. Oathness: blood todbot1: Knife get Blood_BathxX: nah'\\\\\ Blood_BathxX: ... Blood_BathxX: me Oathness: i could type coherently even if i couldnt see the keyboard Blood_BathxX: ...what the **** was i typing Aiglet1: I was thinking No fgt, tod. Blood_BathxX: I DON'T CARE Oathness: i am closing my eyes at the moment Blood_BathxX: I LIKE NEVER USE THIS KEYBOARD Aiglet1: I cant see my keyboard. Oathness: HOLY GOD Blood_BathxX: SHUT UP Oathness: I ACTUALLY TYPED THAT RIGHT Blood_BathxX: **** YOU Aiglet1: NO U. Blood_BathxX: I DON'T CARE JOEL Blood_BathxX: here Oathness: blood rapes children Blood_BathxX: ............no xRawr: :l iamtadakatsu: question: what does "big" mean to you? todbot1: my eyes are closed right now todbot1: whoo mordermor: type with your banana Aiglet1: *alter boys. Oathness: i have no banana Blood_BathxX: this next second will be typed with my eyes closed Aiglet1: Be specific Oats. xRawr: lol.. Blood_BathxX: JOEL GUKVINH DIUVKD SNF NRRFD YO HO YO JHRLL VSIDR JR'D S NRTOPKSHIOVI Blood_BathxX: ] todbot1: woow Oathness: .... Oathness: nice Aiglet1: What? xRawr: Blood you suck. todbot1: That's pro Oathness: he got one word right Oathness: 'joel' xRawr: xD mordermor: thats because blood scared off all the monkeys Blood_BathxX: i got joel right todbot1: Second = sentence? Oathness: and maybe 'yo ho yo' todbot1: XD Blood_BathxX: noo Aiglet1: Wait, Blood is a pirate? Oathness: heh Blood_BathxX: i don't know what i was typing Blood_BathxX: here Oathness: :| Blood_BathxX: let me try again HappyAlcoholic: He's a butt-pirate. Aiglet1: Bloody butt pirate! todbot1: Somebody save this chat, seriously Blod_BathxX: JOEL AND AIG AND YTOF AND KAL AND EBERUONME ELSE BESIFRS RAAWE AFICLON SICL todbot1: Copy it and save it somewhere Aiglet1: *hi5 HA* xRawr: :l Aiglet1: Ytof? HappyAlcoholic: *high fives* Aiglet1: Who's Ytof? Oathness: putting this on ftd wiki HappyAlcoholic: Save it in the FtD wiki. Blood_BathxX: tod HappyAlcoholic: Oh, sweet. Oathness: :| Blood_BathxX: ytod is tod Aiglet1: Wait, I thought Rawr and blood were like, going out. Blood_BathxX: yes Blood_BathxX: going outside Oathness: from where, happy? xRawr: what Blood_BathxX: its a dangerous thing to do todbot1: Joel and Aig and me and kal and everyone else besides...rawr? Blood_BathxX: yes todbot1: And then... wtf is the last two words Blood_BathxX: ****ing suck Oathness: aficlon sicl. ashleyiscoool: !!' Aiglet1: Aficlon sicl Blood_BathxX: hey i cond of fogt the last word Aiglet1: Yitish? Oathness: .... Aiglet1: ... xRawr: ^^ Oathness: cond of fogt? HappyAlcoholic: They are, Aiglet1. Blood_BathxX: KIDN OF GOT Oathness: happy HappyAlcoholic: For some random reason... xRawr: kind of got? Blood_BathxX: ****ing caps Aiglet1: Im not sure how to respond to him. HappyAlcoholic: Yes, Oathness? Oathness: how far up do you want me to save on the wiki Blood_BathxX: og **** toueslef todbot1: I'm going to end up waking somebody up with my laughing, seriously Aiglet1: All of it. HappyAlcoholic: Put it down the bottom, with the other convos. Oathness: how much is all of it x.x Aiglet1: Hahaha. Blood_BathxX: THSI ISN'T FUNN Y' Blood_BathxX: DON'T AKUFGH Blood_BathxX: LAUG Blood_BathxX: H xRawr: :l Oathness: .... Aiglet1: Oat, as soon as blood started talking. todbot1: ^ Oathness: :| Oathness: where is this Oathness: brb Blood_BathxX: QOUDL YOU LOEIKE EME TO TYPE E EURTONRIGNIN I SAU WJUOYJ MR RURD C;SDPEF
 * Blood_BathxX: *smashes aig with his club*


 * Joshhh: don't make me pop a cap in yo ass


 * Blood_BathXX On Geography


 * See below link for the beautiful undeniable evidence of BB's massive IQ.


 * http://paste2.org/p/517895

Thorstein, QQ moar
Thorstein: a winner isn't your mom, bitch, screw this game (He was playing Tower of Greed.)

Thorstein: because there's nothing to do except play Kong and listen to Gorillaz at this hour

Thorstein: ...and sip on my bourban...

Thorstein: that's not a game, that's a chat room... fool

LOLOW: asshole

Thorstein: your mom

LOLOW: what about her

Thorstein: she is an a ** hole

LOLOW: **** off caus shes dead

Thorstein: ROFL

Riker1990: this is childish at best, you know?

Thorstein: don't say childish, his mommys dead

Riker1990: no, i mean the whole situation

Thorstein: he started it;.

JetLag: NO IT WAS HIM

Riker1990: thorstein, please unmute juze

Thorstein: Jews is unmuted.

JetLag: I am 12 and what is this primary school behaviour?

Thorstein: the best porn site ever dude.

Thorstein: (jk)

LOLOW: slutload.com (White text, use Ctrl + A for an example to see the text)

Juze: Yus, you all have been just copy pastad to the Wiki

Thorstein: "pastad"?

Juze: Yes, copy pasta

Thorstein: ...LOLOW you can't do that dude

To JetLag: Please do something already

JetLag: olol weekban

Thorstein: straight up, that's illega;

Thorstein: JetLag i have a question

Thorstein: dude up there asked "i am 12 what is this?" is there anything wrong with me saying "the best porn site ever" or is that against rules too?

A little bit later...

Stev0: Thors = trolls. yes

Thorstein: and Stev0, please refrain from trying to troll me

Oathness: he thinks people calling him a troll (truth) makes them a troll (false)

Riker1990: oh, shut up about the porn already, its not funny

You both suck.
JudeMaverick: Umm... JetLag sucks?

JetLag: Yes

JetLag: wainou

JudeMaverick: good

All Hail Nabb. The Almighty One.
A loooooong log from FTD on Sunday, January 10,2010. Started with Tioga trying to get Nabb's attention to ask a question about one of his games (Hash), and turned into an hour long joke. Was fun until Jabor came in to break it up. :(

http://freetexthost.com/40ltsr5yxy

Bluesharpie had nothing to do with this.

Sinapi lol'd for the fifteen minutes it took to read this log, and for an additional half hour after.

All Hail Dicks, The Not-So Mighty.
Another long-ish log from FtD on Saturday, March 20th, 2010, the sequel to "All Hail Nabb. The Almighty One.". Started with a single person saying the word "cock", and the rest of the room took it from there. It was still fun when babyclaws broke it up.

http://freetexthost.com/atdfmh5rxh

Sinapi is mildly ashamed of her behaviour.

Negotiational skills.
Here we have 300 lines of sellyme trying to convince a reluctant user to join Whatpulse. I bring up some good points if I do say so myself.

http://pastebin.com/VqAkELa8