Café Kong

Café Kong is an English-speaking chat room on Kongregate. It is one of the older and more lively chat rooms. Though it has changed hands quite a bit, it's still a mod birthing room to this day.

Creation
Valkyrie was the first owner of Café Kong, and created it herself, back in October of 2007. As it turns out, Café Kong is the birthplace of many the mods of Kongregate.

Moderators
Valkyrie

Was the first appointed Moderator of the room. She joined Kongregate it's early early Beta phase in 2006. Her account was deleted, and she remade her account again in February of 2007. Valkyrie has also modded in The Van, then the Barrens and then Café Kong. An interview with Valkyrie can be viewed here.

Venzael

Was the owner of Cafe Kong, but due to having to spend more time working on school work, decided to give up the cafe. Owned the cafe from when Val moved on, to May 2nd. 2009.

Hayato_Sakashi

Was given ownership May 2nd 2009. On May 28 2010 Haya gave the cafe to Duckyrox358. During July of the same year it returned to Haya, before being given to Laxaria in the fall. After Laxaria left, Haya took over again, and is now the proud owner of the Cafe!- Is a NinjaPuppy, and a mod. Enjoys Cosplaying, reading, movies etc.

Spindax

This guy is a Viking.

tta182

This girl is a Taniacat.

Jonno_Gradian

Jonno has as of the 18th of January 2009 entered the mod scene in the fight against the greasy Trolls (if anyone sees the reference, you are forever branded a wrinkly). He and his Deputy, Teh Three Eyed Monstah ^^^ pledge to be awesome forever more. Was our newest mod, Ven's padawan.

FridgeMagnet

Mod alt of MikeChilds, only pops in when needed.

tkkttony

An asian Mod, lives in England. Now lashed by Haya onto a piece of unknown furniture in Cafe Kong.

Nitetrooper93, the current room owner

Rarely shows up, but iz ahmeezing. This guy joined the Cafe around May 2009 after coming back to kong. He was a lonely soul searching for a good community, and found it there. A very helpful and somewhat knoledgeable person, he was taught by the great Hayato Sakashi and the awesome crazieshado (and a few others), he learned much through their teachings. One of the few Cafe Kongers still around, be sure to say hello, and don't be afraid to ask a question or two. ;)

Visiting Mods:

Tyler1012

Owns The Cliff. Nice guy.

TheCrom This guy likes sports.

Atmosphere
Café Kongs users are a tight knit group who welcome all. The main goal of Café Kong is to provide a fun and safe environment for all ages on Kongregate 13 and up, so not quite all ages.

What Makes Café Kong So Great
Well, the atmosphere for one thing, and the users, but Val put it the best one time when she said: "My belief is "It takes good people to bring out the goodness in you". So Café Kong if the best place on Kongregate because it has the best people." Also our cookies, our coffee, our booze.

And the mods. Seriously, we have about 20.

Newbie Welcoming message
This is a special message thought up by mono for all new members to Café Kong.

"Welcome to Café Kong. The paradise where the weather's good, the cookies hot, and the cake a lie. :D"

Whereas TheCrom believes the welcome message should be "Do you folks like coffee?"

However, crazieshado has another way of going at it. "Welcome to the cult--uh, I mean the Cafe! We have cookies!

Moreover, Vquesadilla has taken it upon herself to represent the girls of the cafe with a (.)(.) yay! and a "One two punch!" for those who think there aren't any girlz on the interwebz

And JohnWildkins has his own : "You probably won't last five minutes in here, but come on in anyway."

Also when a newcomer XDlinkDX doesn't believe is a troll, he would say, "Hello, welcome to Café Kong, I'm not Chris Hansen, but please have a seat over there. Now."

If these aren't sounding promising to you, you know there's something wrong with your mind.

Room Regulars
Below is a list of Café Kong members who have either engaged in chat enough to be known by others, or frequent the room often enough to be noticed.

Nyvrem

Roamed in RP1 and asylum but this is the only room that gets him... or sometihng >_>. Already roams this room a couple of weeks. DATE: 09-03-2012 (03 as in march, not as in third day). Likes this room for it's discussing and intellegent coversation... etc.. Nyvrem is a random person that loves to play Everybody Edits. Loves information and facts. Called literal, is literal, literal.

LillyWolf108 aka Lilly, Lilleh, Lillian, Lil, etc.

Lilly has joined the Café since of May 20th, 2011. She is a human/wolf that loves to eat cookies and lurk in her dark, cold, corner. Currently, she has claimed HolyFrax's head as her own throne and is crowned as "Wolf Queen" though she doesn't want to be crowned. She left her pack long ago and has ever since became a Lone Wolf. After exploring the forests and wild life, she took a break and stumbled into the Café. After meeting some of the residents, she decided to stay. You can find her sitting in her dark corner, sitting on HolyFrax's head, or munching on cookies anywhere in the Café. She is the quiet type, but sometimes (most of the time actually) likes to talk randomly. She can also be somewhat of a troll to the newbies, but easily becomes friendly. Lilly also loves to read and listen to sotries. She seems more of a child but she doesn't want to see herself as one. She has a cousin that goes by the name Rose. Or roselie1028, she is also one of the room's reg. Rose is Lilly's lovely cousin who is very kind and loves talking about the Titanic.

And yes, Lilly can transform into a Black Wolf whenever she likes to (up to 30 feet tall in her Wolf Form). She is mostly seen in her human form, though she has the wolf ears on her head and a wolf tail. She also claims to be a ghost and can become one if she wishes to. Lilly has a cookie addiction so if you want to eat those cookies of yours, make sure you hide them in a spot where she wont sniff them out. She steals everyones cookies. Lilly recently has had an accident and now she needs blood to survive at least once a week. She normally gets the blood she needs from Sirus, another reg from the Café. Many poeple think that she encountered a battle with a vampire, but she has no vampire blood in her whatsoever.

roselie1028 aka Rose

Roselie is the cousin of LillyWolf108. She is a random person and loves to talk about the Titanic. And yes she really does have a deep love for Fiendmummy.

solidsnake6

he has been here for long time and has talked in here a long time. he knows hiddenninja and he is also a short-tempered person and sometimes a troll but not always, he can be nice also.

theSeraph aka Seraph

Seraph is the loving husband to littlegoth (below) and he's the Café's resident Angel. Seraph is snarky, sometimes crass, and sometimes rude a gentleman; despite all that he's well liked. He knows a good bit about most things, and if he doesn't know it he can usually find out. He has written a few books, and one has been published. theSeraph is a Reference Librarian by trade.

littlegoth aka lg or desi

However, calling her desi if she has *NOT* talked to you before is probably not a good way to get positive attention. She's the Café's non-goth who's constantly being accused as one because of her name; theSeraph gave her that nickname years ago when they met. littlegoth is married to theSeraph in real life and they have two children together. She is generally easy going and will interject random comments that make no sense into conversation or will type what her cat "Bu" or one of her children had said. littlegoth is a Cosmetologist by trade and is sometimes able to help with questions.

ll also answer if called upon, though he'll rarely stay to talk unless genuinely engrossed in the topic at hand.

CorellonLaka Cor, Core, Corel, Corellon, or O Captain My Captain aka DuckellonL Core Is a regular of the Café who has been around for nearly a year, but not as long as Mike or Crom. He's quick to correct anyone's grammar, and enjoys the worst of puns. He's currently a sophomore high schooler (and his humor is as sophomoric as his grade).

narcolepticsloth aka Narc or sloth or narco

A relatively new regular on Café Kong. Discovered le CaféKong when he was surfing teh interwebz at his college trying to find a decent gaming website, until he literally stumbled onto Kongregate itself. Claims he's a cool guy but has serious doubts about this. Loves to jam on his bass and create music. A novice film maker, currently working on a live action YHTBTR, because Hayato_Sakashi demanded it. He loves to discuss music, obscure movies, and anything under the sun. Play nice and he will be your best friend, but the minute that you start insulting people in CK or generally cause hatred, he will be there. He won't really know what to do once he's there but its the thought that counts. Fun fact: accidentally muted littlegoth back in December and hasn't realized it yet. monodemono will be there when he finally realizes this.

DrProfessor aka DrP aka DrPro aka DP aka Flab

Asian male with schizophrenia, when not having the entire chat on mute, can be seen spouting random pieces of extremely useful albeit specific knowledge, singing music of the 80's, or stabbing people with bladed objects. Creator of the transgendered SEALS/crickets riding on landsharks with heat-beam laser-eye vision, he received his Ph.D in kickass and medicine in 1984. He is also a professor of philosophy with tenure at the University of *information censored to prevent stalkers*. His age is currently unknown, though sources say it could be anywhere between 20 and 800. When not teaching or healing people in his basement (strangely enough, he has repeat patients), he also practices ninpo, the ancient kickass art of ninjaing, and creates fine Italian and traditional American cuisine, hence his title of Ninja/Doctor/Professor/Chef DrProfessor.

By the way, he's a doctor. ... Fo' realz.

Slayden_Hook aka Hook aka Slayden aka Slay

This rare and wonderful creature was once known to have migrated almost daily to new chat rooms. One day though that all changed. After responding to the frantic cries of the wounded Slayden, the majestic Venzael managed to coax the Slayden into the Cafe with promises of; ever-present mods, a nice comunity, and links to episodes of red vs. blue (for we all know how lazy the Slayden can be.) Now, however, the Slayden is rarely seen outside of the Cafe. But even with the amazing atmosphere, the Slayden is known to suffer from long bouts of absence. Many attribute this to hibernation, but the truth of the matter is that he is either drawing, or just lost focus and forgot about Kong for a bit.

crazieshado aka Crazie, and by mono only, crazier

This crazie dude loves to spell wrong, eat gummies, rant at that annoying game, and take part in chat if he deems the topic worthy, or, just for laughs if there is no topic. Dropped into this wonderful room as a puny, insignificant n00b, he fought to prove himself a true awesome chatter and gamer. Being in the Kong world for more than a year, and can sometimes be seen *sniff*ing about the great, old times of the Cafe. He is loyal only to Cafe Kong, but he will sometimes go visit friends elsewhere. Oh, and if you're new, welcome the cult-...um, I mean the Cafe!

Nukleahboy Aka Nuk, Nuke, Nukleah, and once in awhile, Nukey.

Nukleahboy arrived in the cafe in Jan 31st, 2008. He was pretty trollish for a few weeks, then settled down after 3 bans. He gradually settled in and befriended most of the mods and regulars overtime. He loves to rant about the "old days" when Valkyrie owned the room. He is also quite rowdy when there are no mods about, and likes to engage in light swearing, RP, and off color joking. When RP was legal (also something he loves to rant about) he used to use anything that was insanely explosive, including antimatter bombs, and quite frequently, the nuke. He also made up other crazy stories, and was a very active RPer. Then he took a 3 month break, and came back quite energetic, but found things not to be the same. RPing had been outlawed, the room was under extremely new management, and everything was different. So as a coping mechanism, he became like an old person with quite a mouth. He has also lived on the moon, in Lollerland, in his brain, and on the planet earth.

Junkle, aka Junk, Junk-in-the-trunk, Junkles, etc. Can't think of a descriptor for himself, so he'll probably just tell other people to make it for him. That's a good idea. Ohwaitno. Has been in Cafe Kong since Sakuya and Kphh, and hasn't seen a reason to leave yet. Has a long mute list that only keeps getting longer, and... uh.. shouldn't be editing at this time of night.

Kingdomaster14 (AKA King, Kingo, Doma, Aidan/Aids & Captain-Commander of the Cookie Rebellion)

Since migrating from the barren wasteland of Fancy Adventurers, he nows resides in the Cafe welcoming any newcomers and tackle-glomping friends. After a while, the other Cafe Regulars accepted him as one of their own, and can now be found either chatting about random topics or sipping a mocha-latte and reading a book by the fireplace. He may be small in size, but his heart more than makes up for it as problems have beeen diminished by his comforting words and helpful advice. According to a few people (mainly ChibiMaster), he is awesome. He started up a tackle contest with ChibiMaster in the early Spring, but stopped as it got out of hand and could not be bothered to count up the tallys. Kingdomaster14 is a welcome member to the Cafe community as he continues to help fellow members with games and other problems, but hoping that one day, he will be knighted into mod-hood. Only has one rule: Keep out of his Kampfy chair by the fireplace. Anyone who breaks that rule WILL have a chicken angrily punted in their direction.

IchigoKurosaki1 (AKA Itchy, Ichi, Ichigo)

Migrated from The Van, to The Cliff, to Cafe Kong. Was welcomed in, and told the cake was a lie. :D Now lives within the caves of Cafe Kong, and is friends with SOME of the regulars. Kingdomaster14 is awesomeness too. Along with tta182 (AKA Tania, or TaniaCat). A regular for a few months, although still visits other chatrooms from time to time. Speaks many languages, like Chinese, Latin, ect. Hoping to one day be elected Moderator, or maybe even Administrator! :D

XDlinkDX A.K.A My little Katamari, Katamari, Katamari Damacy, or Link

XDlinkDX is the most temperate person in the Cafe. He can say what's on his mind when he wants to without hesitation, and takes no BullCra- Bullocks from any troll, mainly by saying "I've had enough with trolls today, Shut the mudkipz up and return to 4chan, dirty scum, OR you can meet a Mod, or someone who can remove your ability to chat, if you're that stupid. And meet my Jurak Muter, Got it?"

finymin finymin joined Cafe Kong in late 2010 After leaving ItBeARoomYo because of silence, trolls and noobs and Cookies Cafe because it shut down. Most of the time he is kind but can occasionally slip up if someone is being nooby or insulting ItBeARoomYo.

hujgbyu A very random but funny person. Doesnt log on alot anymore. Used to be in IBARY before the troll invasion. although i have been logging on alot more lately, too true about the troll invasion though...

nitetrooper93 A.K.A nite, nitetrooper, etc. This guy joined the Cafe around May 2009 after coming back to kong. He was a lonely soul searching for a good community, and found it there. A very helpful and somewhat knoledgeable person, he was taught by the great Hayato Sakashi and the awesome crazieshado (and a few others), he learned much through their teachings. One of the few Cafe Kongers still around, be sure to say hello, and don't be afraid to ask a question or two. ;)

Fiendmummy A.K.A Fiend, FiMu, Mummeh, Mummy (anything you happen to think is good)

Fiend became a part of Cafe approximately 2 days after joining the site on Aug 14, 2008. He had difficulties finding ways to "fit in", but with the beauty of VQuesadilla, Sakuya, and several (I do mean several) others he got out of his shell, and just became one of the many well known Regs. He took a break sometime between Nov/Dec 2010 & Feb/Mar 2011 .(We don't know/remember which). He was exceptionally know for the super amazing TC sessions he did. He came back in recent times. He is so inactive, he's active.

(He also has a deep, deep love for Rose.)

Casada_Radio A.K.A Cas, Casada, CR, Radio, Quesadilla.

Moved from The River(From IBARY before that), joined Cafe Kong sometime in 2010 when he was following ApprenticeChief. Met most of the regulars, including Hayato, Sinapi, Tyler, Tania, Ducky, Foxxy, and hola. He is quiet at times, but does chat with the regulars. He hunts badges while he chats with the regulars of CK. A regular who believes that he is a radio serving it's purpose for humanity.

Zombie_Ravioli  A.K.A Tombie, Jombie, ZR, undead pasta, that awesome guy in the corner

Pretty much the only awesome undead pasta you will ever meet. Ever. 'nuff said.

fuggdup A.K.A Fugg

A squirrel with a spoon basicaly. You will be like "Wtf?", yet you wont be able to take your eyes of him. Also, he is extremely sexy, caution is advized when looking upon this handsome beast, as you may end up being disapointed in everything else afterwards.

Sobrenatural A.K.A Sobre

A dude you can talk to and he'll be like "I know that feel, bro." People usually don't pay much attention to him. But he's there to keep the conversation going. A dark corner, shady, kind of guy if you will.

P.S. I just found out that there was a Cafe Kong wiki and decided to edit myself in. >:3

Lantern123

A lantern that's crazy, action-packed, and great in bed. (for about 30 seconds) 'Nuff said.

Wrathion  A.K.A Wrath

A teenaged African psychopath who very commonly switches between 'gansta' mode and 'regular' mode. is a demolition tester in real life, loves to blow things up. Has extreme damage to vocal cords; is partly mute in real life. Suffers from random eye bleeds and mood swings, yet he is generally friendly. Generally. If not feeling quite friendly, he may threaten to blow you up with phosporous and toss your mutilated pieces into the ocean.

Highfive55 A.K.A Fives, HF

That one random guy hiding in the shadows....

snooperassassin A.K.A. Snoop, Snoopah, Snoops, SA

An unusual and often trollish person. Some say he has an alter ego but only a few know who it is. Often seen using overused memes. Often hated, often imitated, but never duplicated. Often holds the #1 times for many Platform Racing courses and has mastered just about every trick the game can produce. Get to know him, get to hate him, or just take a number and get in line.

TurkeyPie A.K.A. Turkey, Pie, TP, TPie, Perky Tie

Run. Just run. Hide your children and flee to the basement.

Ex-Regulars
McCoyEVP AKA Mc, Mac.

Left in the mod-bomb to lead The Village, where he currently resides.

MeMe44 AKA MeMe, Meems

Also left in the mod-bomb for Garden, then to The Village where she eventually took over as leader from McCoyEVP. She currently owns The Village.

Pwnzor1 AKA Pwn, Pwnie, Pwniepoo, Pwniepookins.

Recently modded, after leaving cafe for The Hall of Odin, then moving to The Village.

Lardman12 AKA Lardy, Lard.

Left mid-2008 and followed many to The Village where he still remains.

Bdog2509 AKA Bgod, Bdog, Yeti.

Also left mid-2008 for The Village, and still lives there and The River.

Genx

Left after the mod-bomb, was the the leader of Difference Engine for a little over a year, then gave it up to MossyStump. Still can be found in Difference Engine.

StonedTerror

An old regular who quit for 6 months, and now resides in The Village.

SirKoolAid AKA SKA and Oceanix AKA SKA, SKAnix, nix, ocean.

Shortly after being modded, SKA moved to lead the room "Oh yeah!", then changed his name to Oceanix, and took over a room called "Chocolate Hostage". Currently on a slight break from kong with internet problems.

Wisby AKA Wis.

An old cafe regular, that moved to Village shortly, then became a Mod. Currently away from kong.

Iron_Wofle AKA Iron, wofle, wolf, waffle.

One of many modded in the mod-bomb, then leaving and taking the room "Ostehøvelen" which he currently owns.

MsPsychotic AKA MsP.

One of the most insane, yet most sane ex-regulars. Married with kids and a ton of pets, she was at times the room "mom" and always had entertaining stories to tell. Has since quit kong after leaving Cafe.

Sakuya

A mod who eventually moved to Manic after it was created. May visit once in a while.

NuclearNukes

He is a racist anarchist and he often visits 4chan, also he is belligerent and questions everything.- Has been perma-banned.

User Reviews and Comments
ProfessorChaos: This was the first room I joined on Kongregate. Everyone was really friendly and Val made it a great place to stay. I only moved after a friend became a mod and invited me to The Bomb Shelter.

hiddenninja: I wasn't originally here, but when I got here I talked to people, was sociable and made friends. In short, I became a regular within a week or so. If you're wondering where I was originally, it was Difference Engine. In my time there, I made friends with the first mod I ever saw (Genx) and afterwards I think I got put in CK by auto room enter. Heh. Anyways, !CK!4L! And also... !DE!4L! I occasionally go to Roleplaying #1, DE, Sanctuary and The Barrens if you're looking for me and I'm not in CK, otherwise it's auto room enter.

Xidphel: Well, I don't visit much but when I do, that's where I go unless Multiplayer chat leads me elsewhere or when I search for a mod. The people here are nice and the spammers and Troll, although rare and spontaneous, are easy to shoot down. Also, I AM NOT A MOD AND DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS TO BE ONE!

monodemono: Café Kong is the best, it's better than all other room, and it just rocks in all ways.

narcolepticsloth: Café Kong? Dont you mean the most awesomest room ever? Everyone here is friendly for the most part, and maintains a good moral code of honor. Every other room fails when compared to CK. Spammers and trolls beware: We have all the mods and we like to toy with you until a mod comes along and destroys you.

TheLightOfSpeed: It's basically an inexpensive cocaine addiction.

Fawful_: Pretty much all of that ^

hoppilew000: Cafe Kong rules. it's one of the only rooms where i can be naked as long as i want. And ikama, if you're reading this, NO THE AC DOES NOT HAVE TO BE FIXED!

Fiendmummy: Legit best room ever. I left for almost 2 years, came back, and it's still pretty friggin' amazing. Nuff said.

Memorable Events
Friday 20th July, 2012

One of the BEST conversations with a possibly drunk/crazy/trolltastic guy who just made everyones day. Legendary Conversation

Monday 19th July, 2010

narcolipticsloth and DrProfessor had the arguement of the century. Full version here.

Tuesday 10th August, 2010

Toz told the Cafe about his undying love for Duckyrox...

Wednesday 2nd June, 2010

Spindax had thought of an idea of "CK4EVARZ" in the TC chat.

Here's how it turned out Link

Friday 12th March, 2010

Spindax declared the following: "Spindax: I now declare that, if anyone wants to associate my username with any previous events, they should use "Spundax" instead of "Spindax".    Spindax: "Spundax" shall only be used as either subject or object." The word has yet to spread out to the general public, who will most likely meet the "Declaration of Spindaxian Pasttime Events Guidelines" with enjoyment.

Friday 25th December 2009

GambitTheCat mentioned Candlejack, causing many patrons to di

Saturday 12th December, 2009

After a short discussion, Blaze209 and ChibiMaster *accidentally* started the Cafe Kongsole War.

Wednesday 2nd September, 2009

Mono has once again unleashed googlism onto the chat. Many lulz once again ensued.

Monday 6th July, 2009

A new god was discovered, the mighty Seraph, from this day forward the 6th of July will be known as...    Seraph day.

Monday 25th May, 2009

Hayato got ownership of Cafe after Ven gave it up, due to being addicted to the expansion pack called "Real Life"

Monday 17th April, 2009

While regulars were innocently discussing the silence weapons they would use if they were mods, their virgin eyes and naive minds were indecently assaulted by TheCrom and his "weapon" of choice.

Monday 13th April, 2009

Hayato_Sakashi released the video of "I'ma cat" upon Cafe. It's quickly infecting the mind of the cafe-ers, getting stuck in their heads.

Monday 23rd March, 2009

narcolepticsloth was rude to an Arab.

Friday 13th February, 2009

Monodemono unleashes the hellbeast known as googlism.com. It appeared that all hope was lost. Suddenly, Sakuya rode in from the horizon and vanquished thy foul beast. Everyone rejoiced. Darxzero dragged off its corpse and now attempts to terrorize the Café Kong forums with less success.

Tuesday 10th February, 2009

Monodemono is, in the presence of Venzael, declared Drama Drag Queen of the Café. Mono accepts his new title with the appropriate gestures.

Monday 9th February, 2009

Stefan88 convinces 11 year old to whisper his age to moderator Everlovely, claiming it is the way to chatnuke. Transcript here.

Saturday 7th February, 2009

World War Kong begins! Another CK exists and is not being polite about it. MikeChilds acts as General.

Friday 30th January, 2009

8998DAMAGEKNIGHT enters the room... an epic conversation ensues, including the plot of a new best-seller, terrorism, pirate midget ninja wizards, and a healthy dose of witch-hunting...

Wednesday 28th January, 2009

A user named kaylia56 came into the Café looking for someone to flirt with, so Core (on his alt) and Kev and Bekah all tried seducing her, and then revealed that everything she had come to learn in the past hour and a half was a lie.

Friday 16th January, 2009

Core released his sexual predator and begged for alleged nekkid photos of Bekah (Thanks go to MikeChilds, Shellshock1_2 and Kevah for making it all possible). Core failed. Epicly.

Monday 12th January, 2009

12:59pm Kong time (Pacific time, -8GMT). Giving rise to the saying, "Where were YOU when TheCoolDude got perma'd?" thecooldude was permabanned thanks to Darxzero.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Mike does one of the most epic rickrolls ever on DeFeo222. For full story click here.

22:03, 11 January 2009

MikeChilds started the Café Kong wiki entry with: OMG HAI USERS This is Café Kong. We have more mods per user than those guys. But only during GMT day-time. Come visit us YAH.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Mod Appreciation Week.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Val hands the torch to Ven.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The infamous trial of a certain user trying to pass the troll torch on to his poor little brother. For the full court transcript click here.

Other Café Kong Related Things
Facebook Group

Café Kong Blog

Café Kong Minicity

Café Kong Pinball (beta)

Café Kong Idle

The Unofficial Café Kong Blog

Café Kong Wikia