Lunatic Pandora

Lunatic Pandora, where the people are friendly, the trolls are full of fail, and a good time is had by most.



Why has Pandora gone mad?
Why is the rum gone? Because this be but a skeleton of the goodness to come, piloted into port, flag unfurled, and takin' on crew what to make 'er shipshape. Thar be many o' the awesome persuasion what sworn allegiance to the colours of the Looney Panda, and they be the ones ta look out fer, in the fillin' ins an' outs o' this 'ere page. So what arrrr ya doin'?

Community
Panderens often seem drunk, even when not. This is partially due to the fumes from the Pandaren ale brewery, and partially due to lack of sleep. Guess which one contributed to the writing of this line?

History
Once known as "The Casino," the name was changed after Jim Greer lost it in a game of Kongai to one Flare_X, a figure of mystery. You can tell he's a figure of mystery because of the "X" in his name. Then, through the tradition of ages long passed, Lunatic Pandora was ceded to the geekiest stone in the land, NerdRock101. This Nerdolithic age was one of great prosperity, and many of the legends spoken of today were born then.

Now, a rock is still a rock, no matter how nerdy it may be, and it occasionally is given to stoney thinking. This is the only explanation scholars have given for whom she chose as her successor. Consider, if you will, one Red. Captain Red, he would be quick to remind you. Known to some as Cappy, as Red, as Cap'n, and even on one occasion "Edna." This blackguard somehow ascended to Olympus Mons, and was anointed mod. It wasn't long after he attained said modship that he sailed it into ownership of Lunatic Pandora, while the Nerdly Rock made her way to glory in Elysium... but ended up settling in Paradise

Regulars
The scurvy knaves and knavessess what populate the fair vessel, castle, or whatever theme I'm using at the moment.

CaptainRed aka "The mod"
He is often found passed out on his keyboard, either from lack of sleep or drinkin all the rum.. take your pick. Cappy holds the bancannon in this room and is not afraid to use it.

BlondeSiren aka "The girl in command"
The Blonde Siren is a champion, come from the Room of Champions along with several compatriots, after having wearied of battling the trolls on beyond the frontier. Among her retinue were the faithful and trusted commander, ever vigilant, who rode ahead to survey the lands to come, and the roguish outlaw, who lagged behind to cover their migration.

Even from birth she felt the calling of the sea, so it should come as no surprise that the Blonde Siren's journey brought her to it. The ocean before her and the peril of pursuit behind, she spent what remained of the trio's funds to hire three ships to sail in three different directions, and booked passage upon a fourth, Lunatic Pandora, by regaling captain and crew with the story of how she evaded pursuit by hiring three ships to sail in three different directions.

It was not long before the Blonde Siren forsook life on dry land for good, becoming a true member of the Pandoran crew. She has, since, been on many adventures: raiding castles for cookies, pillaging cookie kingdoms for castles, and even fighting sea trolls when the mood strikes her.

She is known in many lands and by many names: Blondie and Scarlett, Buttercup and Iris, Bedford and Exeter. These names, familiar in their mouths as household words-- err...

The aliases she has -- symbolic of a thousand deeds, carried upon whispers, shouts, and airs to the farthest reaching port -- all mean one thing: when the Siren sings, everyone listens.

SpankinFresh aka "He who reddens the buttcheeks"
A mute until the captain taught him to speak. A virgin until the siren taught him to love. A coward before the furious one taught him to fight. Before his personality was crafted by those he called "friends" he had but one skill; spankin.

His heart truly belongs to one girl alone and yet his flirtations are felt far and wide amongst the ranks of knavessesses. Although, these flirtations are usually unwelcome they can often make a cold night feel a little warmer.

Also, he enjoys long walks on the beach, snuggles by firelight, romantic dinners, and reading a good book with a sexy lady. Call me.

Outlaw_7 aka "The guy who cut between Fiur and Siren ;)"
Outlaw joined the room with siren during the "creeper incident" of old times. Currently holds the room record for best car accident story.

Fiuros
The Ender, the Demi-mod, the Peacekeeper, the Fiu...

Little is known about the Fiu by those outside of his circle of friends (who reportedly know many things, but none they dare repeat). What is apparent to an observer however is that the Fiu is generally happy-go-lucky, goofy, and an all around genial fellow. But, and I quote, "I share a great bit of affinity with my chosen avatar, 'GIR'. 99% goofy/slapstick humor, but when the eyes go red, get the hell out of the way.."

Viewed by many to be the right hand of the Cap'n, he quite often fills in as a Peacekeeper in the LP, attempting to diffuse situations before they require the specialized weapons of Moderators. If it's beyond his limited authority to deal with, however, he doesn't hesitate to bring those that can quell the unruly masses.

He is frequently seen in the company of his close Kong friends (CaptainRed, BlondeSiren, CommanderX1125, Everlovely, Merlinseras, JeniFire, and many more.. You know who you are), visiting his friends abroad (Frogmanex and the denizens of the River, the inhabitants of the realm of Sloth, and others), or performing Goodwill missions into the wilds on occasion.

(More to come)

Merlinseras aka "The nice scientific guy"
Merlin is a fun lovin kind of guy. He is crazy about his little chicka and only wishes to be returned the love he so profoundly feels for her.

JeniFire/Fuego_Caliente aka "The nice girl doing this and that and that too and that other thing and..."
Prefers to be called Fire, but will respond to anything. Stay at home mother of three, gets her adult conversation from the chatroom. Also writes poetry and stories..... of the erotic nature...

darktemplar_999 aka "The spam master"
For your safety, we have hidden his real BIO as reading it would surely lead to insanity.

ultimaniac AKA, "King Ulty the Negative First"
Well, there's a lot that can be said about the one known as ultimaniac. The king of a distant land known only by its friend architectural works as the Castle, no one is quite sure how (or why) the hell he came here. Some say that the Crimson Captain, upon entering the king's service, seduced ulty with his rapier wit and wisdom into joining the throng that is Lunatic Pandora. Some say he felt the call of adventure and threw out his map, setting out for a grand conquest. Some say he kept the map and, blindfolded, threw a dagger onto it, landing straight in the center of LP, saying, "There I must go, and when I arrive, it will be as IRA DIES, the day of wrath (we all know that that never happened).  And some say, in a punch-drunk haze, he stumbled from the gutters of humanity up to the beaches of Pandormandy.

Upon reaching the icy borders of northern Pandora, ulty was immediately crowned "The King Who Cometh" and the land rejoiced (if, by the land, you mean just him). It was here that the native animals taught him to play the lyre, which he used to gain a knowledge of music so vast it would swallow the universe if made tangible. Sadly, he mainly uses his powers not for good, but for awesome. He then descended to Hell, where got his avatar and his remaining powers.

His final form, (much like the bosses in Castlevania)comes as a vampire, who can be described by reading part 7 of SilasArcher's masterwork, viewable through the link on is profile. Ulty also enjoys shameless plugs, Coca-Cola, the quality of being attractive (especially in others), and the works of Randall Munroe, or Randall Flagg (take your pick).

"The hairs on your neck will stand up in respect at his entrance. Somewhere, an infant will sob and not know why.  Somewhere, the old and the young, the strong and the weak, the healthy and the sick will feel the blood chill in their veins.  And somewhere, the wind comes through the thorn trees and rattles the bones of all who feel it.  And at his feet, they will cast a golden crown, when the man comes around."

A quote ulty enjoys: "Come fight beside me, I said to myself, and although it doesn't make any sense, I held my own hand as a small sign of trust, and together I made my defense."

Ulty loves verbosity.

A few of the Pandarens with dossiers currently classified
CommanderX1125 CyrustheVirus Batman17

Recurring Guest Stars
They followed us home, but while their hearts may lie in Lunatic Pandora, their beds remain elsewhere.

Frogmanex
Half man. Half frog. Half ex. One-hundred and fifty proof trouble. His lair lies amid the fens along The River.

EverLovely
Everlovely, Oftenhappy. Brings cookies and much needed citrus to the ship. Controls the scurvy-fighting market with an iron fist.