Café Kong

Café Kong is one of the older and more lively chats on the Kongregate web site.

Creation
Valkyrie was the first owner of Café Kong, and created it herself, back in October of 2007. As it turns out, Café Kong is the birthplace of the mods of Kongregate.

Moderators
Valkyrie

Was the first appointed Moderator of the room. She joined Kongregate it's early early Beta phase in 2006. Her account was deleted, and she remade her account again in February of 2007. Valkyrie has also modded in The Van, then the Barrens and then Café Kong. An interview with Valkyrie can be viewed here.

Venzael

Was the owner of Cafe Kong, but due to having to spend more time working on school work, decided to give up the cafe. Owned the cafe from when Val moved on, to May 2nd. 2009.

Hayato_Sakashi

Is The Current Owner of Cafe Kong. Was given ownership May 2nd 2009. Is a NinjaPuppy, and a mod. Enjoys Cosplaying, Flash games, and Puppies.

Darxzero

Owns The Cliff, but hangs around in Cafe Much more than he should.

Stefan88

This guy was a mod, then he wasn't, now he is again. Check back again later.

Spindax

This guy is a Viking.

tta182

This girl is a Taniacat.

Jonno_Gradian

Jonno has as of the 18th of January 2009 entered the mod scene in the fight against the greasy Trolls (if anyone sees the reference, you are forever branded a wrinkly). He and his Deputy, Teh Three Eyed Monstah ^^^ pledge to be awesome forever more. Was our newest mod, Ven's padawan.

Nia1101

CK's mod since 18th of December, 2009. Pwetty, silly girl with a good sense of humour. Don't start on her level, she's not much of a gamer.

Ikamabob

Has recently moved into the Cafe. A good mod, but stern when he needs to be. Is utterly insane.

Olimm

Moderator since the 23rd of January, 2010. Always hangs out in the Cafe cause it's awesome.

FridgeMagnet

Mod alt of MikeChilds, only pops in when needed.

duckyrox358

CK's newest (and sexiest) mod. On the date of May 5th, 2010, he had to put his Mute Magnum into a glass case. He now chases trolls with his Ban Butt Scratcher. He has also seduced every female member of the Cafe, except Nia (it was the other way around). Why? Because he CAN.

Razhel

Even sexier than Ducky, Raz has quickly dominated the chat, and everyone must bow down to her when she enters. NOTE: Has not been seduced. Duck lies. OTHER NOTE: He's mine, though. tkkttony

An asian Mod, lives in China. Now lashed by Haya onto a piece of unknown furniture in Cafe Kong.

Visiting Mods:

MrSpontaneous

This guy is Spontaneous.

QueentakesRook

Just epic.

vyn1415

This guy will use his bantana if necessary.

TheCrom

This guy likes sports.

TheGhostGamer

Very awesome new mod to Cafe. Hangs around and has a lot of fun. A laid back mod.

xXPoeXx

Has decided to take residency at Cafe kong. Is a very funny mod, and enjoys the coffee.

ExiaZero

Mod of the Chinese chatroom. Often visits to help out when possible. Studies archaeology and likes history a lot.

Atmosphere
Café Kongs users are a tight knit group who welcome all. The main goal of Café Kong is to provide a fun and safe environment for all ages on Kongregate 13 and up.

What Makes Café Kong So Great
Well, the atmosphere for one thing, and the users, but Val put it the best one time when she said: "My belief is "It takes good people to bring out the goodness in you". So Café Kong if the best place on Kongregate because it has the best people." Also our cookies, our coffee, our booze.

And the mods. Seriously, we have about 20.

Newbie Welcoming message
This is a special message thought up by mono for all new members to Café Kong.

"Welcome to Café Kong. The paradise where the weather's good, the cookies hot, and the cake a lie. :D"

Whereas TheCrom believes the welcome message should be "Do you folks like coffee?"

However, crazieshado has another way of going at it. "Welcome to the cult--uh, I mean the Cafe! We have cookies!

Moreover, Vquesadilla has taken it upon herself to represent the girls of the cafe with a (.)(.) yay! and a "One two punch!" for those who think there aren't any girlz on the interwebz

And JohnWildkins has his own : "You probably won't last five minutes in here, but come on in anyway."

Room Regulars
Below is a list of Café Kong members who have either engaged in chat enough to be known by others, or frequent the room often enough to be noticed.

ChibiEvilBunny aka ChibiMinion, CEB or Bunny (ChibiMasters I'm Minion)

ChibiEvilBunny is a simple little friendly Chibi Bunny though he is evil so even though he may look cute, you might not know what he is going to do to you. I will give you 3 mutes, on the 3rd mute i will mute you forever. (1st mute 15mins, 2nd mute 30mins and 3rd mute will be forever and ever and ever). BTW i pwn all the nubs =D

theSeraph aka Seraph

Seraph is the loving husband to littlegoth (below) and he's the Café's resident Angel. Seraph is snarky, sometimes crass, and sometimes rude a gentleman; despite all that he's well liked. He knows a good bit about most things, and if he doesn't know it he can usually find out. He has written a few books, and one has been published. theSeraph is a Reference Librarian by trade.

littlegoth aka lg or desi

However, calling her desi if she has *NOT* talked to you before is probably not a good way to get positive attention. She's the Café's non-goth who's constantly being accused as one because of her name; theSeraph gave her that nickname years ago when they met. littlegoth is married to theSeraph in real life and they have two children together. She is generally easy going and will interject random comments that make no sense into conversation or will type what her cat "Bu" or one of her children had said. littlegoth is a Cosmetologist by trade and is sometimes able to help with questions.

VQuesadilla aka Stickbutt, or VDuck, or VQ

VQuesadilla is Café Kong's resident musician. Is a girl, a chick, a person of the female persuasion and doesn't like to be called otherwise. She doesn't mute, but does feeds the trolls [naughty naughty!] She can't spell, and she doesn't care. She doesn't friend people unless it's for a good reason, and that reason is up to her. She is almost constantly on Platform Racing 2 and can usually be found in the Derron server. Her all time favorite game is CTR [Crash Team Racing] it was for the regular Playstation [may god rest its soul]. She is assured that she can even beat the creators of that game... and she still plays it all the time. :] She will be a music teacher when she completes college, and will kick your butt with 32nd notes. See the Queso, Taste the Queso.

CorellonL aka Cor, Core, Corel, Corellon, or O Captain My Captain aka DuckellonL Core

Is a regular of the Café who has been around for nearly a year, but not as long as Mike or Crom. He's quick to correct anyone's grammar, and enjoys the worst of puns. He's currently a sophomore high schooler (and his humor is as sophomoric as his grade).

Feiniel aka Fein(Phen) aka Stickbutt's Toy aka Mutton Chops

Really, Fein is intellectual at heart, right? Ignor his typos, seriously. Wait, are we suppose to be talking in 3rd person? PHAIL! loves the ham, The ham is loved by Sue. They got a divorce, Sue now loves turkey. Turkey kills Sue, Sue's now dead!-The end.

GambitTheCat aka Gambit, Cat

Interesting. Apparently I can add myself as long as I don't say Candlejack, ever ag

GAMBIT IS A FAILURE, FAILURE, FAILURE, FAILURE!!! GAMBIT IS A FAILURE, OH YES HE IS!!!

That wasn't very nice. Anyway, Gambit is dead, was reborn for five minutes as RetroReactive, died again, is back as JoshTheCat and is considering making a new account AGAIN.

Bekah117 aka Bek aka Bex aka Duckah117

Word puns, Kevah, and good grammar; Once. Twice. Three times a lady.

Kevah aka Kev or Kebab aka Kevvy aka DucKevah

Ball and chained to Bekah, if he likes it or not. Hairy, cynical and the CK creater of annual Facial Hair February. Nicknamed Kebab after Mike epic-typod his name. ArchNemesis : CorellonL. Husband : theSeraph.

hiddenninja aka hidden or ninja or hn aka duckninja

"Hey, where am I on the wiki? I'm not there!Who the hell took me off?! TELL ME NAO!!!" - More or less what was said when I realised I wasn't on the wiki. And then I noticed my entry here. Silly stefan! Stefan edited someone else's edit with the use of my edit that I edited out, so now we have this edition.

Pirill aka Pir, Pirillstah or Master P

After being told to "Add his damn self in" repeatedly, he added his damn self in. THERE! HAPPY?. Initially located in Fancy Adventurers, he, Olim, Turtleshellarmor and Kizza went on an epic migration to escape the trolls. They have ended up in Cafe Kong, and the rest is history. Likes badges..and badges... Hopes to be a mod one day and is 100% devoted to Cafe Kong. :D

kalstras aka Kal, duckstras

kalstras is normally nice, and actually quite awesome but his mood can change rather quickly (War_Wrecker) when provoked.

Reprimands those who break obvious rule breaches and is likely to yell "Get of My Lawn"

snooperassassin

The less you know about me, the better off you'll all be.

sexy_scoreceress aka sexy aka sexy_score aka scoreceress

Complains a lot, usually seen playing puzzle games, continually reffered to as a pedophile because of her name...and contrary to popular beleif, it has been proven that she is indeed NOT a man.

Ether_Shadow aka Ether aka Duck_Shadow

Has seen a whole lot of internet. Was in the Café back back before the gang was hit by a mod-bomb and sent to the far edges of the site.

Can be roused from hibernation with zombies, science, war or mild philosophy.

Josh_Amsterdam aka Josh aka JA

Alleged serial killer, fled to Amsterdam. Has never had any freaky love affairs with Sakuya, MikeChilds, Darxzero, Denvish, Corellon and Monodemono.. as far as they remember...

War_Wrecker aka WW, War, Wrecker, you ******* *******! aka Duck_Wrecker War

Saw Sonny on kongregate, and then he saw the achievements. War joined, beat sonny, and has never left Café Kong Since. Except for that one time on Christmas day, where he made all of the chatrooms. Lose the game.

Threecagehit aka Cage, 3, tch, Threeduckhit

An Oldtimer, frequently reminiscing of the days of Val, Threecagehit took some time off from the chat during a bout of Portal/Counter Strike related Kong-withdrawal, but is now back with a vengeance! A strict rule follower, he dreams of being a mod one day, but don't tell the mods this!

ontopdontstop aka ontop aka otds aka onduckdontstop

ontop is an awesome guy. He's simple, doesn't say much, but is a loyal CKer. In his own words: Meh.

SirMarth01 aka Sir aka Marth aka SirMarth

Whenever he comes up with something interesting enough to actually fill this spot, he'll let you know.

discoalienpro aka dap aka disco

He joined Kongregate on January 17, 2008, was immediately placed in the Café, and never left since. Except that one time, but that doesn't count because he was logged out and on a different computer. He has slightly violent tendencies towards people who spell crappy on purpose, like "u" and "r" and "4" instead of "you," "are," and "for," respectively. He is extremely eccentric, and often serious about many insane things he says he's going to do.

kev88 aka eh......kev

A relative stranger but slowly making up for lost time... A major thorn in the side of Kevah due to name similarities.... I think it hurts his head as much as it hurts mine.

TheLightOfSpeed aka TLOS

._.

narcolepticsloth aka Narc or sloth or narco

A relatively new regular on Café Kong. Discovered le Café Kong when he was surfing teh interwebz at his college trying to find a decent gaming website, until he literally stumbled onto Kongregate itself. Claims he's a cool guy but has serious doubts about this. Loves to jam on his bass and create music. A novice film maker, currently working on a live action YHTBTR, because Hayato_Sakashi demanded it. He loves to discuss music, obscure movies, and anything under the sun. Play nice and he will be your best friend, but the minute that you start insulting people in CK or generally cause hatred, he will be there. He won't really know what to do once he's there but its the thought that counts. Fun fact: accidentally muted littlegoth back in December and hasn't realized it yet. monodemono will be there when he finally realizes this.

FalkornDOTA aka Falk, or DOTA

A relatively newcomer, and real life friend of CoreL's, who quickly established himself as a troll. He is a feverish defender of the RULES OF THE INTERNET, notably no women on the internet, and is quick to challenge anyone who dares oppose these rules. He has established himself as a troll, and has sometimes trolled for more than an hour with a single person. He generally enjoys tormenting Lemon, and it became quite obvious that he had a crush on her, showing that this monster does have a weakness. One thing that gets him angry is asking what DOTA stands for. It stands for Defender of the Alliance, assumably an inside-joke with CoreL, but is frequently confused with Defense of the Ancients.

DrProfessor aka DrP aka DrPro aka DP aka Flab

Asian male with schizophrenia, when not having the entire chat on mute, can be seen spouting random pieces of extremely useful albeit specific knowledge, singing music of the 80's, or stabbing people with bladed objects. Creator of the transgendered SEALS/crickets riding on landsharks with heat-beam laser-eye vision, he received his Ph.D in kickass and medicine in 1984. He is also a professor of philosophy with tenure at the University of *information censored to prevent stalkers*. His age is currently unknown, though sources say it could be anywhere between 20 and 800. When not teaching or healing people in his basement (strangely enough, he has repeat patients), he also practices ninpo, the ancient kickass art of ninjaing, and creates fine Italian and traditional American cuisine, hence his title of Ninja/Doctor/Professor/Chef DrProfessor.

By the way, he's a doctor. ... Fo' realz.

Also....Hayatos personal Doctor and "close friend" HANDS OFF!

LinkM710 aka Link

Link is a crazy person, to say the least. He's obsessed with The Legend of Zelda and Super Smash Brothers. I should know, it's all he talks about every day. On Kongregate he desperately strives to become a mod (even though CK has about 5,617 already), warning spammers and trolls to not mess with the power of mods. He says he lives in Ala-Indiana, a location hidden somewhere in between Alaska, Alabama, and Indiana. His life is shrouded in mystery. Is he a teenager with a life of a secret agent, or some 13/14-year old with no life, spending his days on the computer? It's probably the latter. Other than that, Link is a cool guy.

Slayden_Hook aka Hook aka Slayden aka Slay

This rare and wonderful creature was once known to have migrated almost daily to new chat rooms. One day though that all changed. After responding to the frantic cries of the wounded Slayden, the majestic Venzael managed to coax the Slayden into the Cafe with promises of; ever-present mods, a nice comunity, and links to episodes of red vs. blue (for we all know how lazy the Slayden can be.) Now, however, the Slayden is rarely seen outside of the Cafe. But even with the amazing atmosphere, the Slayden is known to suffer from long bouts of absence. Many attribute this to hibernation, but the truth of the matter is that he is either drawing, or just lost focus and forgot about Kong for a bit.

crazieshado aka Crazie, and by mono only, crazier

This crazie dude loves to spell wrong, eat gummies, rant at that annoying game, and take part in chat if he deems the topic worthy, or, just for laughs if there is no topic. Dropped into this wonderful room as a puny, insignificant n00b, he fought to prove himself a true awesome chatter and gamer. Being in the Kong world for more than a year, and can sometimes be seen *sniff*ing about the great, old times of the Cafe. He is loyal only to Cafe Kong, but he will sometimes go visit friends elsewhere. Oh, and if you're new, welcome the cult-...um, I mean the Cafe!

Nukleahboy Aka Nuk, Nuke, Nukleah, and once in awhile, Nukey.

Nukleahboy arrived in the cafe in Jan 31st, 2008. He was pretty trollish for a few weeks, then settled down after 3 bans. He gradually settled in and befriended most of the mods and regulars overtime. He loves to rant about the "old days" when Valkyrie owned the room. He is also quite rowdy when there are no mods about, and likes to engage in light swearing, RP, and off color joking. When RP was legal (also something he loves to rant about) he used to use anything that was insanely explosive, including antimatter bombs, and quite frequently, the nuke. He also made up other crazy stories, and was a very active RPer. Then he took a 3 month break, and came back quite energetic, but found things not to be the same. RPing had been outlawed, the room was under extremely new management, and everything was different. So as a coping mechanism, he became like an old person with quite a mouth. He has also lived on the moon, in Lollerland, in his brain, and on the planet earth.

ChibiMaster aka Chibs, Chib Chibs, Chibbles, Chibblez, TurtleBro, The Master of All Things Chibi, and Sam.

Was searching for his missing cat, and gave up because all he found was Gambit. Hasn't had a haircut for 3 years (OH YES), and is constantly yelling at himself for not having the ability to rewind time. He is also the Master of all things Chibi.

DarkShade123 aka DS(DarkShade), Shade, Dark, and a few other names. Oh and also. Fusha. If your reading this, you are not allowed to call meh 123!

DarkShade123 came to Cafe Kong when he returned to Kongregate, and is now an official regular.(I guess :)) Anyways, uh..DarkShade123 has nothing to say, and will now poke whoever's reading this with a stick because he's bored. DarkShade has really no idea why he's referring to himself in the third party, but he doesn't care neither. Also..DarkShade rocks :)...And uh....He's...Great in every single way possible? :D. Oh yeah! And he's ebil. Okay fine evil beyond belief, but I disguised it well enough :(.

JustinAlexander aka Justin, John, JohnWildkins, JW, JA.

JohnWildkins came to Cafe Kong at the beginning of his "kongregate career" back about 6-7 months ago. He then got up to the member of Regular before leaving for a while. After getting his account hacked, he became "JustinAlexander". He is now a newbie/regular, depending on who knows he's John. He likes to crack jokes a lot, and isn't VERY good it flash games, but really joins Kongregate for the community.

Ex-Regulars
McCoyEVP AKA Mc, Mac.

Left in the mod-bomb to lead The Village, where he currently resides.

MeMe44 AKA MeMe, Meems

Also left in the mod-bomb for Garden, then to The Village where she eventually took over as leader from McCoyEVP. She currently owns The Village.

Pwnzor1 AKA Pwn, Pwnie, Pwniepoo, Pwniepookins.

Recently modded, after leaving cafe for The Hall of Odin, then moving to The Village.

Lardman12 AKA Lardy, Lard.

Left mid-2008 and followed many to The Village where he still remains.

Bdog2509 AKA Bgod, Bdog, Yeti.

Also left mid-2008 for The Village, and still lives there and The River.

Genx

Left after the mod-bomb, was the the leader of Difference Engine for a little over a year, then gave it up to MossyStump. Still can be found in Difference Engine.

StonedTerror

An old regular who quit for 6 months, and now resides in The Village.

SirKoolAid AKA SKA and Oceanix AKA SKA, SKAnix, nix, ocean.

Shortly after being modded, SKA moved to lead the room "Oh yeah!", then changed his name to Oceanix, and took over a room called "Chocolate Hostage". Currently on a slight break from kong with internet problems.

Wisby AKA Wis.

An old cafe regular, that moved to Village shortly, then became a Mod. Currently away from kong.

Iron_Wofle AKA Iron, wofle, wolf, waffle.

One of many modded in the mod-bomb, then leaving and taking the room "Ostehøvelen" which he currently owns.

MsPsychotic AKA MsP.

One of the most insane, yet most sane ex-regulars. Married with kids and a ton of pets, she was at times the room "mom" and always had entertaining stories to tell. Has since quit kong after leaving Cafe.

Sakuya

A mod who eventually moved to Manic after it was created. May visit once in a while.

User Reviews and Comments
ProfessorChaos: This was the first room I joined on Kongregate. Everyone was really friendly and Val made it a great place to stay. I only moved after a friend became a mod and invited me to The Bomb Shelter.

hiddenninja: I wasn't originally here, but when I got here I talked to people, was sociable and made friends. In short, I became a regular within a week or so. If you're wondering where I was originally, it was Difference Engine. In my time there, I made friends with the first mod I ever saw (Genx) and afterwards I think I got put in CK by auto room enter. Heh. Anyways, !CK!4L! And also... !DE!4L! I occasionally go to Roleplaying #1, DE, Sanctuary and The Barrens if you're looking for me and I'm not in CK, otherwise it's auto room enter.

Xidphel: Well, I don't visit much but when I do, that's where I go unless Multiplayer chat leads me elsewhere or when I search for a mod. The people here are nice and the spammers and Troll, although rare and spontaneous, are easy to shoot down. Also, I AM NOT A MOD AND DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS TO BE ONE!

monodemono: Café Kong is the best, it's better than all other room, and it just rocks in all ways.

narcolepticsloth: Café Kong? Dont you mean the most awesomest room ever? Everyone here is friendly for the most part, and maintains a good moral code of honor. Every other room fails when compared to CK. Spammers and trolls beware: We have all the mods and we like to toy with you until a mod comes along and destroys you.

TheLightOfSpeed: It's basically an inexpensive cocaine addiction.

Memorable Events
Friday 12th March, 2010

Spindax declared the following: "Spindax: I now declare that, if anyone wants to associate my username with any previous events, they should use "Spundax" instead of "Spindax". Spindax: "Spundax" shall only be used as either subject or object." The word has yet to spread out to the general public, who will most likely meet the "Declaration of Spindaxian Pasttime Events Guidelines" with enjoyment.

Friday 25th December 2009

GambitTheCat mentioned Candlejack, causing many patrons to di

Saturday 12th December, 2009

After a short discussion, Blaze209 and ChibiMaster *accidentally* started the Cafe Kongsole War.

Wednesday 2nd September, 2009

Mono has once again unleashed googlism onto the chat. Many lulz once again ensued.

Monday 6th July, 2009

A new god was discovered, the mighty Seraph, from this day forward the 6th of July will be known as... Seraph day.

Monday 25th May, 2009

Hayato got ownership of Cafe after Ven gave it up, due to being addicted to the expansion pack called "Real Life"

Monday 17th April, 2009

While regulars were innocently discussing the silence weapons they would use if they were mods, their virgin eyes and naive minds were indecently assaulted by TheCrom and his "weapon" of choice.

Monday 13th April, 2009

Hayato_Sakashi released the video of "I'ma cat" upon Cafe. It's quickly infecting the mind of the cafe-ers, getting stuck in their heads.

Monday 23rd March, 2009

narcolepticsloth was rude to an Arab.

Friday 13th February, 2009

Monodemono unleashes the hellbeast known as googlism.com. It appeared that all hope was lost. Suddenly, Sakuya rode in from the horizon and vanquished thy foul beast. Everyone rejoiced. Darxzero dragged off its corpse and now attempts to terrorize the Café Kong forums with less success.

Tuesday 10th February, 2009

Monodemono is, in the presence of Venzael, declared Drama Drag Queen of the Café. Mono accepts his new title with the appropriate gestures.

Monday 9th February, 2009

Stefan88 convinces 11 year old to whisper his age to moderator Everlovely, claiming it is the way to chatnuke. Transcript here.

Saturday 7th February, 2009

World War Kong begins! Another CK exists and is not being polite about it. MikeChilds acts as General.

Friday 30th January, 2009

8998DAMAGEKNIGHT enters the room... an epic conversation ensues, including the plot of a new best-seller, terrorism, pirate midget ninja wizards, and a healthy dose of witch-hunting...

Wednesday 28th January, 2009

A user named kaylia56 came into the Café looking for someone to flirt with, so Core (on his alt) and Kev and Bekah all tried seducing her, and then revealed that everything she had come to learn in the past hour and a half was a lie.

Friday 16th January, 2009

Core released his sexual predator and begged for alleged nekkid photos of Bekah (Thanks go to MikeChilds, Shellshock1_2 and Kevah for making it all possible). Core failed. Epicly.

Monday 12th January, 2009

12:59pm Kong time (Pacific time, -8GMT). Giving rise to the saying, "Where were YOU when TheCoolDude got perma'd?" thecooldude was permabanned thanks to Darxzero.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Mike does one of the most epic rickrolls ever on DeFeo222. For full story click here.

22:03, 11 January 2009

MikeChilds started the Café Kong wiki entry with: OMG HAI USERS This is Café Kong. We have more mods per user than those guys. But only during GMT day-time. Come visit us YAH.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Mod Appreciation Week.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Val hands the torch to Ven.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The infamous trial of a certain user trying to pass the troll torch on to his poor little brother. For the full court transcript click here.

Other Café Kong Related Things
Café Kong Forum

Facebook Group

Café Kong Blog

Café Kong Minicity

Café Kong Pinball (beta)

Café Kong Idle

The Unofficial Café Kong Blog

Café Kong Wikia