Universal Turing Machine

g                                              g   o /     \             \            /    \       o   a|       |             \          |      |      a   t|       `. |        |       :     t   s`        |             |        \|       |     s   e \       | /       /  \\\   --__ \\       :    e   x  \      \/   _--          ~--__| \     |    x   *   \      \_-~                    ~-_\    |    * g   \_     \        _..______\|   |    g   o      \     \______// _ ___ _ (_(__>  \   |    o   a       \. C ___) ______ (_(____>  |  /    a   t       /\ |   C ____)/      \ (_____>  |_/     t   s      / /\|   C_____)       |  (___>   /  \    s   e     |   (   _C_____)\______/  // _/ /     \   e   x     |    \  |__   \\_________// (__/       |  x   *    | \    \____)   `   --'             |  *   g    |  \_          ___\       /_          _/ | g   o   |              /    |     |  \            | o   a   |             |    /       \  \           | a   t   |          / /    |         |  \           |t   s   |         / /      \__/\___/    |          |s   e  |         / /        |    |       |         |e   x  |          |         |    |       |         |x   * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *
 * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *

Expected behaviour in UTM
We do know of these set of rules: Kongregate conduct, and it is generally advised that you follow them whilst in Universal Turing Machine.

Things to avoid doing in the UTM:

 * 1) Deliberate ignorance, or narrow-mindedness.
 * 2) Expression of Homophobia.
 * 3) Expressing Sexism, or Racism.
 * 4) Resorting to personal attacks when participating in discussion/debate.
 * 5) Trolling/Spamming.
 * 6) Extended Roleplaying
 * 7) Being awesome
 * 8) Butthurting the mod or his special friends

Criteria for "Regular" Status

 * 1) Chatting regularly 
 * 2) Friends with the other Regulars 
 * 3) Reasonable activity
 * 4) Being a douche
 * 5) Condescention
 * 6) Uppity chat behaviorUtm.jpg

UTM Regulars
One would think the regulars are a bunch of computer science geeks, but we're just regular geeks.

And (just a fair warning) many a troll (and "txt-spkr") has met their doom at the hands of certain UTM regulars.

bigjack126
Known as "liljack" or "blowjob".

Discovered how awesome chat was when he finally came to the UTM.

Is into Rock and Metal. Metallica, Anthrax, Slayer, and Megadeth are among his top ten, although who knows why when they suck so hard. Coincidence?

One of a handful of Christians in the UTM, which is sometimes a source of conflict with other regulars.

Works as a gravedigger.

BloodWynne
...

[Placeholder for more info]

ChrisWar666
...

[Placeholder for more info]

DBscotsdragon
DB=DoucheBag

Very active Scottish wanker.

Formerly engaged to Kat (PorcelainKitty), but she broke up with him after discovering his hidden CP stash.

Spelling/Grammar Nazi (due to OCD).

Chose UTM on the day he joined Kongregate, and has only left once.

Went on a four-hour room-hop in the early hours of Wednesday, 21st July, 2010.

Is considered by many to be a haggis-eating sheep-fucking child molester. (See below) _//(                         oo\\\\                          <_.\\\                           \__/"                           //_`.       ,@;@,              ||/ )]      ;@;@( \@;@;@;@;@;@,_|/ / |      /a `@\_|@;@;@;@(_____.'  |     /    )@:@;@;@;@/@:@;@#|"""|     `--"'`;@;@;@;@|@;@;@`==\  )           `;@;\;@;\;@;@`  || |             || |   \\ ( __||H|             || |   // / \=="#'=             // (  // /   |__V_| "' '"'___<<____)

On this room-hop spree, he favourited several other rooms. This was the first time DB left UTM since he created his account. Was silenced by Nord for 15 mins on 17th May, 2010 (for discussing how the Bible has been altered over the centuries)

Demonkitty16
One of the more popular members of UTM (likely due to her being female).

Is quite inane, rather kinky & pretty talented...

Has a show on blogtv, that she usually runs on weekends.

Likes roleplaying fucking a cat.

donteatglue1
Is the sexually-molested, bi-curious, "virgin" of UTM.

Likes to watch animals having sex and soft things in her butt.

She gets very pissed off if users refer to her as a whore, as she prefers to be known as an "escort".

Writes stories (often of the prostitution genre).

Tends to get very annoyed when she runs out of cocaine.

ElloMello
Was formerly known as Ramon1000100100; his old account was hacked.

Godseed
British regular.

May not actually exist, but certainly talks enough to make up for any lack of reification.

Spouts lame and overquoted quotes (they're much cheaper than Bionicle or "Havoc: the Bothering").

Current favourite: "I'll suck your dick for fun"

Rarely chats anymore; prefers to lurk.

PorcelainKitty
Formerly engaged to DBscotsdragon (See above).

[Placeholder for more info]

Scul
Serious metal-head.

Scul is the singer and co-creator of his band 'Atlas Vampire' and is currently writing an epic fantasy book.

Scul is known for his extreme dislike of major religions (such as Christianity and Islam) & Rap music.

Scul is an actual real-life friend of Matsteo.

sinsaint
Likes to talk about things that other people don't generally talk about (PG-13+ things).

Will talk to anyone about anything, even if nobody is listening.

Is in college.

Constantly corrects almost all grammar/spelling errors he makes.

Teaches people how to make video games for his college as a part-time job.

Enjoys teaching things just as much as he likes learning. However, not everything he is willing to teach is completely...appropriate.

Doesn't like drama queens/kings.

UberStiffy
What can I say about me...? I'm ubar. Puer and simpel. ;D Has taken back his rightfull place as a regular by steeling (THIEF) internet. That's right, punks...suffur my wrath!

WolfgangG
Writes strange stories.

Can be rather depressive at times, but seems to have cheered up recently.

Seems not to chat as often as he used to.

Zace
Is good friends with most of the regulars, is too damn friendly in general.

Zace is a self-described scatterbrained, mindless, so-called machine, designed and destined to be a slave to living.

Known to be 'silly' and serious, can get emo at times (and promptly makes himself leave)

Truly believes in his own lack of a soul, though others say he does have one.

Has no nicknames (likely due to his already-simple username), excluding things such as "Zacey" or his real name.

Known to be good for debates, or at least always have a comment to add.

May make silly comments to brighten people's days.

He has muted OVER 9000! users, and has actually reached the maximum amount of mutes that a user can give out. This number is 10999 users.

He's a programmer! Yeah! So that too.

He has a four-foot boner.

Moderators of UTM
Here to serve and protect.. And compute; better than you.

Matsteo
ROOM OWNER

Grammer Nazi Paladin. After a run-in with the Grammer Gestapo, he's changed his evil ways and become much more tolerant of those less grammatically endoued. Also, as a mod he can't go around bitching about everything. He is one of the older regulars of the UTM, along with Toa_of_Pi. Lives over in San Francisco, home of everything awesome. Seriously. Some hobbies of his include cross country, procrastinating on the UTM, and snuggling other regulars.

He loves the whole world, and all its sights and sounds. Boom-de-yada. Loves to dance, believe it or not, and will tango all over you if you keep on trollin'! Was nominated for modship, and obtained his 'M' on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010.

Nordavind
UTM's famous Viking Mod.

Not much is known about Nord, but we do know that he hates trolls and those who feed them.

Nord was (until a while ago) the owner of The Warehouse, but his Viking ancestry made him set off for new adventures.

Has left us for a new room, but makes sure to visit often. Not yet. - Nord

Oceanix
The Mod without a profile (Not really; he just doesn't like you enough).

Has been around longer than the other mods, but isn't in UTM often.

Due to parental problems, he has no internet access, and has not been on in almost a year.

[Currently Inactive]

Olimm
Olimm is UTM's newest Mod, but is already a firm favourite. Has taken up residence in the UTM to smite the hordes of infernal trolls and whatnot.

Frequent Visitors
These are users that do not qualify for 'Regular' status (at this point in time), for one reason or another.

M3drvr
One of the rare few people who have mastered conveying sarcasm over the internet.

[Placeholder for more info]

SicMirx
A wonderful Mod who visits UTM.

[Placeholder for more info]

uuu2
New to the UTM but relatively active in chat.

Loves to get badges(has all the easy puzzle badges and 2 impossible badges) but is not at the level of achievement of some users.

He has horrible spelling, but luckily uses a spellchecker.

Enjoys getting messages and if given a shout, he will almost always answer back. He will always add you even if he doesn't know you! He's not afraid to call a mod, but fortunately there is almost always a mod in the UTM. Active for most of his non-school time.

taw2

A relativly new person to the UTM. He did not come to UTM first thing, but stayed in a room called Xanadu. Hates trolls and will normally try to help take one down. Many times taw will say something then find out it was worded wrong, and will then be full of fail. All together though a genuinally nice guy. Not exacly a grammer Nazi, but likes to uphold the UTM rule of no "txt" speaking and proper spelling.

Multiplayer Games of the UTM
This section contains the names of multiplayer games that UTM Regulars play, and the names of the users that play them.

Elements
DBscotsdragon, ElloMello, Matsteo, Noobmasterz, Zace,

Golemizer
ChrisWar666, klaa2, Kayos94,

Wesnoth
DBscotsdragon, ElloMello, Matsteo, Noobmasterz, WolfGangG, Zace,

Quotes of the UTM
This section is for quotes made in, or about, The Universal Turing Machine.

Favourite Quotes
Anton Szandor LaVey : “Yeah, well, I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid, hopefully. And I think we're all a bit crazy if we do anything that's deviant. I've studied a great deal on deviance and aberrant behavior. Most of the interesting people I've ever met have been deviant in one form or another.”

Anton Szandor LaVey : "Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!"

John Cleese : "If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?"

Lashof: "sup"

Quotes from UTMers
klaa2: Balls of steel don't protect against a shotgun shell in the face.

Matsteo: It's a cross between a condom and a duck!

Scul: Grinding? You mean you two started to turn each other into sausage meat?

Matsteo: "Humans are rationalizing Kitty, not rational." ... "Whoah.. That was like... Wise n' shit."

DBscotsdragon: "Don't forget the Grafenberg-Spot!"

donteatglue1: "Isn't that a pokemon?" MooDooMan: "Go, G-Spot!! G-Spot used squirt! It's super effective!"

A Note Regarding Roleplaying
There is a Chatzy room set up specifically for UTMers who wish to roleplay.

The current Admins are DBscotsdragon, Matsteo, & Noobmasterz.

We hope to run a semi-regular session of a simple RP system.

I want to learn more about Turing machines!
These links to the domain of questionable knowledge might help you on the way. Warning: heavy stuff!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Turing_machine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_machine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYw2ewoO6c4