Road Scholars

Road Scholars is a chatroom/ill-advised social experiment moderated by McKain (nominally), QueentakesRook, DanBuckley5 and Tkkttony.

Known Crimes
Theft in the First Degree (Stealing the couch in the Gibson).

Aiding and abetting Trolls.

Conspiracy to steal all the moderators in Kong.

Felony kidnapping of new Kong members.

Obstruction of justice.

Perverting the court of Justice.

Failure to slow down in a school zone.

Hiding a precious vase in an unknown room somewhere in Kongregate.

The stoning of users that ask stupid questions.

History
The origins of Road Scholars are shrouded in the mists of time and obscurity. In its current incarnation, the room is in a black hole of leaderless-ness. Without a leader, the conversations (if they can be called such) spiral into oblivion, often darting from topic to topic like a scared rabbit. That's not much different from the way they progressed when the room had a leader, but it's more dramatic to say things like that if the room has no leader. Formerly, the room was run by McKain, a refugee/exile from League of Gamers, who assumed power in a (debateably) bloodless coup in the summer of 2008. Under his dominion, lawlessness, terror and rampant gay innuendo stalked the landscape, and the room was officially cast out of the League of Chatrooms. Once again, things aren't much different now. It's just run by Queen, and there's more fun when you can say that anarchy rules the day. This suits the room's regulars perfectly, as their caustic and misanthropic nature puts them largely at odds with the outside world, any incursion from which will likely be met with a combination of threats of violence, rapier wit and common-or-garden mockery.

Technology
Attempts have occasionally been made to drag Road Scholars kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century. Most notable were the forays into robotics by McKain and burnme, creating McAble (latterly iPal) and BurnBot. BurnBot has since been removed by its creator following a dispute over the inclusion in its vocabulary of a reference to a type of Chinese sailing vessel. iPal (think of a terminator, but not trying to kill you) was removed from the room when it's creator, McKain, left to join the leagues of Gibson. Under its monopoly, iPal offered the services of a calculator, reported when it had last seen a given user, and simulated the throws of dice. Occasionally, when a user asked iPal to perform the impossible (divide by zero, feel) it would order the others to stone said user, normally resulting in a slew of "*stones (insert username)*".

Law Enforcement
Of questionable efficacy. In the event of spamming or trolling, the promptest response is typically offered by Road Scholar regulars turning out with pitchforks and lit torches to remove the miscreant, or at least damage his self-esteem to the point that he begins to question the meaning of life itself.This typically results in a swift (or at least entertaining) resolution, without the need to involve Kongregate mods (pictured to the right). Unless the said troll or spammer gets eaten, in which case drastic measures need to be taken to ensure that no further mess happens.

Room Culture
Road Scholars are typically sarcastic, irreverent and disdainful of anything not directly beneficial to their own lives. Despite this attitude (or perhaps because of it), Scholars are typically welcoming to newcomers, providing they have an IQ greater than that of a glass of water. The conversation, inasmuch as it deserves the term, is driven by the twin influences of the Dada movement and mescaline, akin to a highly-intellectual professor of art, specialising in the works of the lesser-known pre-Raphaelites, after having had his drink spiked with cheap vodka. It may be the only room on Kongregate where the lesser works of Moliere have been mentioned in the same breath as duct-taping unruly children to walls and dropping sailing boats onto Americans from a cargo plane. Most notable are the ritualistic tangents that the conversations often go on. They start out with a simple comment, building and building until you have a conversation so abstract that to try and find where it began would drive one utterly insane.

Road Scholars Mascot
Although Road Scholars does not have an offical mascot many of its denizens consider the platypus to be an animal that they can identify with. Like most Road Scholar the platypus, or Ornithorhynchus anatinus, posseses a wide variety of diffrent traits it also pocceses a venom that is almost as deadly as an experienced Scholar's sarcasm. Like some Scholars the platypus is semi-aquatic and hairy. Yet unlike 98.385% of Road Scholars the platypus is utterly adorable.

Notable Scholars
Given that most regulars will never amount to anything, it is highly suspect as to whether there is such a thing as a truly notable Road Scholar. Nonetheless, we offer the following examples (in no particular order), intended solely as cautionary tales:

McKain
Acting Ban Dispenser, 2nd Class. Lost Room ownership in June to Queen. Also known as McAFKain as he is often AFK. Could be easily exploited via his deep-seated (and bordering on the pathological) love of upcoming game, Borderlands. He also successfully converted ChaoticCrusade into a raving worshipper of Reese Roper. Now lives in Gibson PA's basement. IS NAO ALL GIBSON'S PA's! =D

QueenTakesRook
Fairly recently modded, as of going to press. Universally loved, except by trolls. Sham-hitched to PurpleAlex. BFF's with Joe_Shmoe

The new room owner.

PurpleAlex
He enjoys tearing people down until they have nothing to live for and then finishing them off by inviting them to a classy restaurant to share an expensive brunch. Of course, PurpleAlex does not pay. Newly sham-hitched to QueenTakesRook. Is a lovely person who hates everyone.

CaraAdele
Lives in France, where she spends most of her time trying to stop PurpleAlex from stealing her boyfriend.

ChaoticCrusade
The local evil genius bent on world domination, commonly called "CC" for short. Your typical self-entitled, self-absorbed, nerdy Scholar. Is known for ranting about D&D, Star Wars, Soul Calibur, and City of Villains. An all-around stand-up guy, albeit a gibbering Mac-fiend. As a side-note, he is often found cursing merlinseras for causing his newfound love-sickness. He is also an aspiring musician that enjoys making Heavy Metal versions of beloved dance classics, something that PurpleAlex wishes to murder him for.

Knux
Also known as Knuckles, Knux is a regular whose chief interests are grooming his oversized mane and evangelizing for Rise Against. With his quick wit and sharp mind, he's a very dangerous opponent at chess. Knux often worries about those close to him, but complains when people worry about him. Due to complications of real world proportions, Knux disappeared from a prior life in which he knew Zeneeba and Chazusama, which he constantly refers to, and only recently appeared in Road Scholars, swaggering like he had been in the wilderness for two years. He is often found calling people by nicknames that are not usually used by others, making him very memorable.

kimital
Princess of Road Scholars and all around sweet gal. She likes very long showers.

Chazusama likes feeding her, although she's too cute to actually digest calories into anything but energy.

Silviar
Awesomeness personified. Talented at appearing in the room, seemingly from out of thin air. May be a ninja or mythical beast. Also known for drawing awesome pictures for all the Road Scholars, it is believed she may actually steal a part of her subject's soul in order to better draw them. She is also the mortal enemy of tweezers everywhere, as 90% of her injuries are tweezer-related.

AntonymtheVamp
Sufficiently egotistical enough to create a space on the wiki for himself, Antonym would rather you call Vamp if you're a friend, Antonym if you're an enemy. He's memorized a great deal of information, none of it useful to the current conversation. While he cannot draw, he is a weeaboo in every other aspect except his clothing. Placed himself under Silviar for a reason.

merlinseras
The jury is still out on his emo status. May or may not be a wizard or mage. Part falcon, part hot anime chick, and also a self acclaimed love-sick-semi-stalker. ChaoticCrusade blames him for his recent love-sickness.

DarkAdrien
Touchy 17-year-old regular. Non-alcoholic, virgin and square, male 5'7 110 pounds. Orientation: straight, although still dealing with confused emotions for PA.

DrEed
By his own admission, a lover of wombats (wombatophile? check this - ed.). Is on some manner of police database because of this.

madpraxis
I don't know how to describe him, and his profile is blank. So... well, he's definitely a regular. Yes, he shows up sometimes. Which is nice. Update: just found out he enjoys long evenings watching lemmings jumping over cliffs.

ElMicha
Lovely Norwegian.

Nekkuma
Does not wear pants. Draws comics for a living. Good ones mind you. Enjoys trolling spammers.

Currently the acting Pope of Kongregate.

Kyler_Skye
Born in the wonderfulness of Canada, Kyler_Skye has attained the status of most loveable and craziest person to enter the room. No one knows how Kyler did it, and it will remain a mystery until the opposite is revealed. Often mistaken for a male, Kyler is known for being overly excited when people enter the room - Shown by numerous pounces on Everybody! Kyler enjoys talking in third person and dying randomly. Kyler_Skye also enjoys blood and guts and the combination of Black and Lime Green. Secretly married to Knux - he seems to forget though...

Alexisonfire123
Is a very mysterious one-of-a-kind guy, who may or may not talk much. Really depends on how he feels or what he may be playing...or being the Youtube fanatic he his. Watch out for his reference to Death Note, with it being his favorite show on the face of the earth...except for the fact it's over and he realized what happened. Usually will be on everyday unless he his lost under the mounds of homework from his AP classes. -.-

KittyKatk8
A feisty Kat who needs a warning sign, but hasn't gotten around to making one. Loves making her own clothes and jewelry, as well as enjoying vegetarian and vegan food, also of her own making. Don't be fooled, though she is also a nerd and highly playful, she may at times be very dangerous. Kitty also loves glomping people and loves sweets, keep this in mind should you decide to anger her. Asking about her most recent project may also result in distraction from anger.

MrResponsibility
The new user for HELLKILLA, because the name was thought as "too immature for a 30 year old", MrResponsibility has recently had a baby with his wifee (Yes he calls her wifee). This has him out looking for another job, which is why he might not be on as much. :( He inhabits his mother's house, which he stole from her, after putting her into a "nice home" (Old people home). He lives there, and sometimes, his brother, who lives is also a major computer nerd, likes to stop by and play on his user. Also, if you haven't noticed, he likes to use commas.

HOLY CRAP THERE'S A BABY NOW!

Cj10203040
A life-long regular of the scholars chat. He is a budding gamer who is constantly trying to overtake McKain in levels (now succeeded). He is good friends with most users and gives and takes help on most games (normally gives). Now trying to persuade the admins to change his name to "Mr Cj". Also made the Road Scholars Idle, which Herty is wasting his life playing.

Shadowmancer
Completely absorbed by the wonders Kongregate has to offer. Spends way too many hours staring at a screen or attempting to get badges. His lifelong ambition is to somehow learn to use Flash, make his own game and upload it to Kongregate.

ciantucke
Canadian Patriot of the room. With a strong love for mother England, he fits right in. As a minister in the QueentakesRook court, he is very much in charge of ensuring the day-to-day operations of his portfolio. (This week might be Poutine?) While not a moderator, he also answers lots of questions for other users. Very helpful, and friendly to those he likes. Crude and caustic to those who need to be sent packing to the dark ages. Beware, immature users will be asked to act of a certain age. Now found living between other rooms to avoid some of the people who have become a plague.

GaminMadMan
Not as usual a player as I used to be but I still go on it now and then, I have been a RS since the early times of McKain being a Mod and before he owned it. I am 15, Scottish and proud of it! I am an easy member to get along with, without too much trouble, I just come on here to have fun and chat. I tend to have 2 nicknames on here GMM and Gamin call me by either one.

Herty14
A loyal and regular scholar around for over a year and almost always AFK, but still stalks the chat with his alter~ego's. Has a tendency to nuzzle people, and uses very light roleplay where he shouldn't. Herty can be very random, and is known for eating things, especially pie and cookies (and people, at times). Having aspergers, Herty isn't the... normal type. Expect sheer randomness if you ever bump into him. Has now had three daemon babies. Don't ask, you don't want to know. They are apparently up for sale though.

Dominates Road Scholars Idle, and rarely plays Pr2 just for the fun of beating Zoeologist. (See other Scholars) Herty is generally a very nice person, unless you lie to him, talk to him about smoking or steal his cookies... =p

Triscuit113
The most self-serving member of RS, as he is writing this about himself. Known for often interjecting quotes from Firefly and other various media, it is apparent that he has devoted vast portions of his functioning mind to the memorization of USELESS CRAP. Either that or he is really good at exploiting google and using CTRL+C and CTRL+V. He can often be riled into a discussion of religion and politics, and will vehemently defend his side until Kongregate shuts down. This is not advised, however, as it generally tends to alienate anyone who doesn't give a flying rhododendron's behind. Occasionally able to make a ROFL or LOL worthy witty jab. Also has the most unreliable internet connection EVER, which is why Triscuit is so unknown to all other RS.

WalkingxSpazztic
Spazz, also known as (Anna)rki, has been a Scholar for quite some time, though she is also well known in other rooms including the RP1 room and Lunatic Pandora. She has devoted her life to art and her ultimate ninja skills. Arguably she could also become a pretty good model, though her overly busy school year schedule prevents any sort of fun or career building to take place. She is semi-engaged with her boyfriend who popped the question several times on different, random occasions. She tends to stare in some way often at people who mention her, and when she has an opportunity to act, its impossible to predict what she will do. Her mind was, is, and will forever be, above human understanding.

JeSuisOeufsFous
JeSuisOeufsFous most commonly goes by the nickname of "Eggs". The Platonic Soulmate and Putty of WalkingxSpazztic, he can be most commonly found on her lap, or clinging to her in disdain for the noobs and trolls that sometimes crowd the room. He's usually found out of Kongregate and conversing with his friends from Road Scholars on IM. A loyal friend who will defend and support always, he is a Road Scholar that should definitely visit the room more. (~&gt;Glare&lt;~).

Mister_Andy
Mister_Andy is yet another misanthropic regular to RS, although he's a relatively new one. He's often intolerant of stupidity, trolls, spam, and incorrect spelling/punctuation. He loves PurpleAlex, JeSuisOuefsFous, and Kyler_Skye, and hates DarkAdrian, who knows what he did... Mister Andy is often slow to accept newcomers, but is a fiercely loyal friend. Also, if anyone would like to add to this description, but leave the initial description unedited, Mister Andy would appreciate it. Probably.

Cogwheel
The quiet one, the resident nuisance, etc. Often around, but rarely talks, often saying he "Can't think of anything to say". He doesn't care in the least about badges and levels, which often results in playing a great deal of new, unbadged games. Cogwheel has a hopeless case of bookworm, and also seems to have a habit for playing games (and reading books) that no one has ever heard of. He also has an unfortunate reputation as the Japanese one, despite only living there, and is often PMed several questions a day relating to this. Not that he's bitter or anything.

AoiScarlet
An awesome regular. However always seems to be AFK. He has fun toying with trolls and is Blazen's older brother.

Paradoxes
Joined in '08 but wasn't very active until the beginning of '09, is friends with most of the regulars, and ended the Couch War. He has a slew of medical problems and hates Hospitals.

Aniqa
This 17 year old girl, whose name is often mistaken as "Aniga", frequents Road Scholars at random intervals. In fact her personality is as random as the times she is on the site. She often lurks and adds just a random comment to a dying conversation. She currently resides in the hot and humid hell that is Florida. She really likes octopi and platypuses and is planning to go to school next year to study biology.

Wolfsbane93
Wolf is apparently “Part werewolf, part demon, part necromancer, 100% insane“ and hates spammers and trolls with a vengeance. She knows loads of people and is a friend/daemon master of Herty14, but would rather have a "sensible" chat with cogwheel and Mcmicker on the days that she doesn't quite feel like being eaten. She has many nicknames often that of "Wolfy" "Wolfers" "Fuzzball" and even "Devil Dog". How charming. Not that she's planning revenge or anything like that.

Despite all of this hating stuff, wolf is actually a very nice person. Although she might kill me for saying that....

Zoeologist
Zoeologist likes to have the occasional role-play to do with whatever is on discussion.She is on Kong a lot and skims through games looking to get lots of points. Kinda freaky and random if you ever meet her. Likes to draw and talk to herty. Zoe has a bubbly personality and can manage to calm Herty down, {Bloody hell} if he starts eating to many people.

Transient Scholars
There are those Scholars who have moved on the pastures new, or have simply dropped from the face of the Earth; gone, but not forgotten. NEVAR FORGET.

Slic3
Blue haired Virginia Tech student with an appetite for online games and small children.

Also highly confused as to when he was actually added to the Wiki, because he took great pride in managing to avoid it. I mean seriously...SONUVABITCH! WHY?! WHO DID THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

groceryfiend
Resident nebraskan offended at not being on the wiki page. So panhead999 added him. Self described slacker. Brought to nebraska in the back of a pick up truck as a young child.

Baconbandit
Just your average American whose passion is to steal bacon. Keep your bacon safe or you will never see it again.

f15hfac3
Resident Australian, a reptile of the order Testudines, aquatic species having the trunk enclosed in a shell consisting of a dorsal carapace and a ventral plastron.

Joe_Shmoe
Joe_Shmoe is the self proclaimed Man Witch of Road Scholars. He has powers and dominion over hamburgers and the undead, as well as the almost dead and not quite so dead yet. He is openly gay and McKain's not so secret lover. He is BFFs with Queenie and texts her often.

Terrenae
Awesome bookish history-nerd. Not, in fact, the same person as Cara.

Boredom_Man
An excellent regular, but sub-par superhero. Has also succeeded in doing the horizontal monster mash and making a kid. Kudos.

Dionysus128
The Greek god of Honey, Revelry, Wine, and random triple-digits. Enjoys torturing the regulars with disturbing mental imagery, particularly ChaoticCrusade. But what he really wants to do is direct.

Ghostduckie
Simultaneously the best and worst features of Road Scholars. He enjoys long walks on the beach, and eating bread crumbs.

Danbuckley5
The other other British one. Apparently not very interesting, since that's literally all I could think of when it came to describing him. But I just checked his profile; holy shit, level 50 odd?! A man with too much time on his hands. Also recently modded. One of the many who abandoned Road Scholars to live in Lunatic Pandora. Evil Dan.

TKKTTONY
One of Road Scholars' moderators. Lives in China, also a British Citizen.

Left Road Scholars when Room Ownership was passed down to QueentakesRook. Traitor.

Other Scholars
Not yet notable, but Scholars nonetheless.

Glemo
Glemo or Glem as most people call HER (most people think this user is a guy she is not!) A very energetic user and aslo funny. There's never a dull moment when this user is arou Usually plays pr2 and like elements.

Icegoddess
A compulsive liar and desperate for attention. And then some.

keykan
Key is a popular person in the chat, he likes his muffins and likes doing =] in the chat.And his rivals in the chat are Herty14,Cj,Dan and Tony, two of which seem to have disappeared.

blazen_angel
Blazen, (or Angel by people that first meet him) is one of the few people that spam the word Nya. He is also Aoi's little brother. Also the most Stupidest scholar, often travels and makes short visits to the site which will never be told on this page.

Jji04
recently joined road scholars and enjoys getting badges. On kongregate most days

'Mushyrulez'
Really stupid person, isn't even listed on this page without editing it! Nobody knows who he is...