The River

The River, owned by the beautiful Lucky_Miles, is a room like no other. The River is a beautiful cesspool of horrible people you will no doubt love. Upon entering the room, you will surely be bombarded by racism, hatred, and exploitation of your every slip up, as courtesty of the colorful group of regulars belonging to our River. Half of these regulars will spend most of their time complaining about how good the River used to be, while the others are all 12 and what is this. The River is obviously the best chatroom on Kongregate, but we have no credit for it.

The Regulars

Lucky_Miles (Miles, Lucky, Sir Miles)

Lucky__Miles is the current owner of The River. Has an actual banhammer as well as his Kong Banhammer. Pretty much the biggest baller ever.

Buzzshock331 (Troll)

Buzzshock is a troll who spends way too much time antagonising the regulars on The River. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a job (and I should be right because I am him)

Do not approach if you don't want to waste an hour discussing the merits of Hitler.

ShadowBlitz237 (Ana, Stasia, Blitz)

Writer/author. She's always talking about her non-existant cock and constantly writing porn.

bluemenace (Chris, FishNerd, Blue)

One of the last trolls of the river, and he's very in love with fish :3 The swimmy kind. Not FishFenly.

XxhazzelnuttaxX (Georgia, Hazz, ManiacalWindbag)

Georgia... she's royalty in The River. No srsly. Everyone's attracted to her.

ArisaRaven (Arisa, Risa, Raven)

Another author/writer from The River.

Drummermean (Drummer, Drumzy, Drum)

Drummermean has been a regular for many years but missed out on a lot of the River's great history due to an extended break. He has now returned.

BloodyCaesar

Hath been one Regular since the Fall of The year of Grace of our Lord MMVIII (XXVIII of December), and shallt be until The Great Sky crumbles and Slay us in the XXI th day of MMXII. Or perhaps for longer.

Hath been voted a God by Riverans in the very late month of February, MMVIII. But hath no true power.

Hath been killed by Bunnies in MMIX, hence is not killable anymore.

Nutter666

Nutter666 has being a regular in The River since 2008, as well as developing numerous games based on conversations in The River.

schwerganoik

He's an oddity. He types with near-perfect spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and he has little understanding of the concept of "human emotion." He usually greets anyone who enters The River and is usually corteous to any and all for as long as he is not provoked, at which point his trolling knows no boundaries.

BigfootDaKing (Ben, Bigfoot)

Ben, used to be popular, but since he refuses to talk to anyone much, has lost all popularity. Fortunately, he's still his old smart-ass self.

FishFenly (Fish)

He's Irish, he's probably drunk, what else is there to say? Oh yeah he's gunna be a dad soon.. which is kinda cool... unless you're his kid.

DiablosDeAngel (Diablos, Dia, DDA)

Entered The River randomly and became known due to Potatobandit and hazzelnutta, he is now a perverted love-able douchebag with morbid crude humor to anyone saying "My [relative] is dead".

pointynives (Neon)

IS FEMALE

Samanthaccp (Sam) 

Sam is the best. That is all.

RPGLord (Gram_Cracker)

• An ignorant piece of shit.
• Fails to spell simple words like "revealed" wrong. Because he/she/it is a dumbass and spells it "Revieled."
• This person doesn't understand the most simple things. It shames us all to be the same species as it.
• ..
• Disregard the above. He is lovely.
• Looks like someone is mad.

CapBubba

Cap8u88a?

lunarulerofevil

Rawr!

Missing Regulars

IamDante

Aliveandying*

MADLOCKthe5th

Conrad_

Jayce123

potatobandit*

Alexiothemidget*

• Users marked with an asterisk are users that are slowly returning and are between Missing and Regular

Riverian Quotes

This section is for all the great quotes from The River.

Most of these are outdated.

Buzzshock331: Let's discuss the merits of rape

what dafuq is going on

3leggedpup: Just so we're all clear, Brae's a cunt.

Alexiothemidget: Naw, it's just Siya.

Braelara: ^

Braelara: grr

Braelara: meant pup's

Alexiothemidget: Boom.

Alexiothemidget: PROOF

Alexiothemidget: PROOF

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Zak7062: And the Lord said LET THERE BE LIGHT! and Zak said o.o okay okay you dont have to shout!!!

samanthaccp: o.o

caboosereturns: And Cab Said CLAMMIT! You BOTH SHOULD BE WORKING!

Zak7062: hahahaha

caboosereturns: Then Zak slapped him and told him to stop pretending he was the boss.

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KoalaBars: Also, we can discuss sexism, the mods are away and Koalas will play

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timmilemons: RACHEL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD

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McIntosh: \w mcintoshfail I’m after rachel in the most sexual of ways

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Sarah345: DREW

Sarah345: MAKE ME A SAMMICH

DrewEntreri: Three Whore Five…I don’t know how long ago you requested that I make your sammich, but I’m back on now…What kind would you like?

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KoalaBars: IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE HAD LIT VAGINA TO MY FIRE RACHEL

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KoalaBars: Erin is like

KoalaBars: The happiest panda in africa

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KoalaBars: Ok…so appreatnyl while drtunls

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FR35HPRINC3Of10: ii have a 3.4 gpa' McIntosh: Not hard to do in special ed classes.

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dragonreborn567: No… No, you go with it. I want ANSWERS!

samanthaccp: YOU ARE GAY! YOURMOTHER HATES YOU! YOU WERE ADOPTED! samanthaccp: AND THE WORLD IS TRYING TO KILLL YOOUUUU o.o

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DrewEntreri: Am I the only person that was not turned into a zombie?' AbsoluteYin: I wasn’t. Now it’s up to us to repopulate the world. DrewEntreri: Oh….quit trying to get me into bed with you.

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werewolf505050: Alright eibot, I need you to go get a rope and a chair, and maybe even a buddy to help you out with this one. I’m gonna get you a link on how to hang yourself, because it would just be helping us all out.

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MarsIsHere: Sarah.

Sarah345: Mars.

MarsIsHere: How come I don’t have any qoutes on your profile MarsIsHere: ? Sarah345: give me one. MarsIsHere: **** you. Sarah345: quoted.

schwerganoik: I can’t decide / whether you should live or die / Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven / please don’t hang your head and cry schwerganoik: No wonder why / my heart is dead inside / cold and hard and petrified / lock the doors and close the blinds / we’re going for a ride

Realisation: When there’s something wrong / In the neighbourhood

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EmosBleed: But WHO THE **** ARE YOU

EmosBleedsVagina: I

EmosBleedsVagina: am…

Siyakon: reported

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bobby87412: do you use completely correct grammar when you’re texting your friends? RPGLord: No, Bobby, I ignore them.

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AbsoluteYin: Worse things have happened in a democracy.

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GeneralRed: You know, if Carmen SanDiego and Waldo, had a kid, No one would ever find it.